Letting go

6 months old.

Silly me. I thought those months and years would be the hardest. They certainly feel like they will never end when you are in the midst of it all.

Oh how a young mother spends so much time wishing away diapers, and sleepless nights, and longs for some free time of her own - and chance to sleep for 8 hours straight.

Ah - to have that worry back again.

Here now, I enter an entire new realm of parenting. Parenting the pre-teen. Letting go. Allowing them a little more length on that leash. Had I known how hard it would be - believe me I never would have spent one second wishing away babyhood - well I would have because I am human, but I made my point.

Today - K. is on her first trip, thankfully only for a day, with the youth group. Away in NJ. At a public beach, on the boardwalk - mostly on her own, let to her own devices - all day. I left her totally in the trust of adults other then J. or I - not just at pre-school or a playday, but AWAY , out of the state, hours away. In the water, without me watching over her to make sure Jaws isn't there somewhere, and to make sure she comes up every time she goes under the water. Applying her own sunscreen. In a huge public space. And - it is KILLING me. The scene was organized chaos when I left her this morning. But if you ask me, there weren't enough chaperones. But, none of the other parent's seem concerned. The youth group has organized this trip for years, without any trouble. So - I suck it up. I tell Kaite one more time to stay with the group, not to talk to anyone she doesn't know and to be careful in the water. (To which I get an "I know, Moooommmm, you've said it three times already.") I convince myself that I am just being over protective, and drive away.

Why is it so darn hard? Birds just push their young out of the nest. One big nudge and they are left to try to fly on their own! We protect our young for the first crucial years of their lives. We keep them away from danger. Wipe their faces. Pick them up when they fall down. Make sure they have everything when they leave for school in the morning. Feed them. Clothe them. Then one day we turn around and we are expected to let them just walk off and take care of themselves. I'll take a dirty diaper and sleepless night over this anyday!

But on the other hand - a point must be made for this being a healthy progression of the life cycle. As I was talking with a friend this weekend about her college graduated daughter getting her first job and living away - we make a point... they are just doing what they are supposed to be doing! Growing up, maturing - taking the wisdom, principles and education we have bestowed upon them and using them. Our entire mission when they are young is to raise healthy, happy, productive human beings who can contribute to society. Then, why I ask, is it so hard to let them do it? I am estatic that Kaite even wanted to go on this trip, considering her initial hesitation with even joining the youth group and doing activities without me there constantly. To go on this trip, is a HUGE step for her. But also one that makes a parent totally aware that she is going to leave this house some day. There are things that are going to happen to her that are totally out of my hands and control. What a challenge for a mother to accept. I want to stop every mature mother I pass and ask her how she did it!

Woah- (said in my best sea turtle voice) - A memory just came to me. I remember my parents dropping me off at college. When they left me at the dorm, my mom was chirpy and excited - talking about how proud she was of me, and how happy she was for me to get this opportunity and so on. I called soon after they got home to make sure they had gotten home ok. My dad answered the phone, and proceeded to tell me that my mom had started crying the minute they drove out the road and had still not stopped. At the time - I just rolled my eyes. But just now, this second, I get it. I was not supposed to know the reservations and fears she had in leaving me go, I was only supposed to feel the encouragement and the pride. She must have been so torn apart that day.

So - K. will never know how I felt today. I will tell her I missed her (I want her to know that) and I am so proud of her for doing well. Then proceed to casually grill her for as much information as possible - a mother has to have her fun ya know!

I guess I have to lengthen the leash, ready or not - but I don't have to unclip it yet. And I am sure any of those mature mothers that I stop to ask how they did it, will tell me it was hard, but worth it, and they are now sitting back enjoying watching their children do what they are supposed to do.

Today's blog brought to you by K.

Today I turn the reins over to K. So here are her thoughts for today.

Did you know that i love to draw dresses? It is my passion to be an outfit designer. (the outfit on the left is a fire queen outfit, the other is shorts and tank.)

Little visitor

Here is our latest visitor, or possibly resident in the pond.

Between those two rocks is a little frog.

I heard an unusual noise yesterday afternoon when I was outside. But it stopped pretty quickly. K. said she had heard it earlier.

Then last night laying in bed, I heard the noise over and over and over again. I told J. " I think we have a frog on the pond." But it wasn't really a croaking noise.

This morning, the boys were outside feeding the fish, came screeching into the house, "There's a frog in the pond, there's a frog in the pond!" Probably freaked the poor thing out! We were all very excited. Still am - this means, first the pond is healthy - other things we did not put there want to live there. And second, another animal to watch.

Jim's response? ::::::::::::::Imagine my best Tony Soprano voice::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"You want, I should get rid of it?"

Geez, No! God forbid, it may keep us awake for a few minutes every night while it sings. No different then the bevy of birds that awakens me every morning at 5:30 am! So I think I have successfully convinced him we can co-exist with the little dude.

Now - the kids want to name him. Any ideas?

Pa Grand Canyon

Darn - I wish I didn't keep forgetting the photos on the blog load in reverse! I was going for the drama of looking at the canyon from the top down ! OH well - this first picture is the kids and I at the bottom of the waterfall at the bottom of the trail.

No watches.
No phone -land line or cell service. ( you should have seen the kid's faces when there was no phone in the room! - not sure who they thought would call.)
We didn't turn on the tv once.
We spent the weekend in Wellsboro, Pa. Central Pa.

To sound totally cliche - God's Country. But when you see, you know why they say it. Photos do not do this scenery justice. And to think - only four hours away! I have been told we camped here when I was little. I have no recollection - except when I saw a carved cedar box at a gift shop that was exactly like one that sat on the headboard of my parent's bed for years.- Man , that was deja vu at it's finest.
I was so excited for Jim and the kids to realize that there are other places to vacation than the beach. And - they had fun to boot!

This shot is Jim relaxing when we got to the bottom. This is the Pine Creek that runs through the bottom of the "canyon" - otherwise known as Pine Creek Gorge. Isn't he handsome? Did I say that out loud?


We started the weekend off leaving early friday morning. Unfortunately - or what wound up to be a fun afternoon - depending how you look at it, by the time we arrived Friday, the down pours started. But we had discovered a week earlier that the parent's of our dear friends have a camper parked in a camp ground not 30 min from where we were going to be! Right before the rain started, we had decided to stop to see if they had arrived yet. Wound up spending a relaxing afternoon with the kids playing between the rain drops and running aroung the campground. These are the vacations of my youth. We camped. Tent camped. Not "we have electric and water" camped. If we couldn't camp, we didn't go. And we had fun doing it! Spent our days splashing in the creek or hiking in the woods. We also spent time at my grandfather's hunting cabin in Central Pa. I attribute my love for the outdoors and fresh air to those weeks spent outside in the mountains as a kid.
It was so nice to come as close to sharing that with my kids as Jim would allow. (Jim does not do the camping thing.)

Saturday we hit the proverbial trail. Headed off to see the infamous Turkey Path. The only path in the canyon that goes straight (well in relative terms) down to the bottom on the canyon. One mile down and straight back up. Waterfalls, and the Pine Creek at the bottom. To tell you it was gorgeous, doesn't even come close. You should have seen the look on the kids faces when we told them we were going down there! They loved it. The steepest path we have ever done. We took time to skip rocks in the creek when we got there. Seems the kids couldn't get enough of that this weekend. We spent a lot of time at our lodge skipping rocks in the creek also.
Getting down the Turkey Path was the easy part! Up - proved to challenge us. But we all made it and very few complaints to boot!!
We spent the afternoon at the small local zoo, then panning for gold, shopping, snacking....we ate at a few wonderful little places along the way. Sat around the campfire all night. Ate s'mores. A great Rattlesnack festival was in full swing so we were treated to fireworks as well! This is a tradition in the area, folks go out every morning to catch the biggest rattlers than can find, they are measred and the longest gets a prize. They are displayed all day then released where they were found. Let's just say I am tremendously happy that we didn't see them until AFTER we hiked. The longest was like 25 ft. Oy.

I am sure I have forgotten something. It was such a great family weekend. If you ever get the chance to visit. Please do! Highly recommend the Rough Cut Lodge. A bit out of town but worth the ride. www.roughcutlodge.com We had running water and electric! Next time Chris will have a fishing rod and we are going to rent a canoe, go horseback riding and ride the local train.

Shoes shoes shoes

Yes - the apple does not fall fall from the proverbial tree.

Seems K. has my love of shoes, particularly flip flops.

We went in search of a sturdy pair of sneakers today. You know, those good old fashion ahtletic type sneaker that only the dorkiest of pre-teens wear any longer? Reserved for us old folk who actually - oh I don't know - exercise in them.

We are going hiking this weekend and since K. refuses to wear hiking boots. "They are for boys, mom" And the little flimsy canvas things that she calls sneakers are not suited for hiking, we needed to go in search of a new pair. We did agree and settle on a nice all white pair, "only for hiking - I don't have to wear them anywhere else do I?" *sigh

Of course, taking K. into a shoe store usually turns into her attempting to try on every pair she can lay her hands on. She loves heels in particular. But I submit that no 11 year old needs to be teetering around on a 3 in high heeled espadrille. But I love that she also gravitates to the flip flops. My own personal passion. I bought my *cough* fifth pair today. ::grin:: Half off! ::wink::
She was so excited to find this canvas pair, all pink and purple cool print. I was just bummed that they did not have a pair in giant-boat-foot size for me. More than happy to pose for a foot picture. You know you have been a scrapper way to long when your kids don't even flinch when you ask to do things like take a picture of their feet!

But the most interesting part of today? Venturing further and further up the size isle. Yes, these are LADIES size 7's! What happened to my little girl?? More people have mistaken her for me on the phone in recent weeks. She is developing faster than I can keep up. And I find myself getting a little philosophical and sad. I don't want to be sad, since it means that she is healthy and growing as she should. Lord knows I would not wish the alternative for anything. But watching your child enter a new phase in their maturity, really makes you stop and see yourself "maturing". I still look in the mirror expecting to see the 27 year old that I feel like. She is gone. Replaced by some 30 something who is squishy in more places than she would like, whose two grey hairs are starting to invite company, and is the one now giving napping advice to the young mothers in the nursery at church! Wait a minute? When did all of this happen? I refuse to give in! No "mom-jeans" for me! I will stay cool! I will not embarass my children!

That is my solemn vow!

Summertime summertime

Sum- sum - summertime.....

Yes- our summer has begun.

School officially ended with Crazy Hair day.
No - I do not let the kids go to school like this everyday.

We went for what is becoming our traditional ice cream at the dairy with friends, then off to Barnes and Noble to pick up summer workbooks and a new summer book. The rest of the summer is strictly library fare.

The kids were a bit "off"...too much stimulation at school this morning, I don't know. The clerk even commented that for being the last day at school, they were very calm. You see - Kaite and Chris get very serious in B&N. It is a huge place full of too much stimulation and too many choices for two ADD kids to take in. Everytime they see something they want, there is immediately another one they want. I know better than to rush, but there has to be a time limit and things start to get tense when I have to count down. The clerk was so patient and helped Kaite search out first - books on ancient egypt , her latest fascinations, then ghost stories. We finally came home with a kids level DaVinci Code of sorts. It is based on Leonardo DaVinci's life, but finctional "mystery" that comes with a little book of clues that help solve the mystery. Not based on the movie at all. The potraits talk and move. Christopher settled on a new Captain Underpants. They also both get to pick a summer reward that we buy and "display" for motivation. A little tense to finally get out of there but we did. As a bonus we also picked up some birthday presents we needed. I love Barnes and Noble - not to mention that there is a coffee shoppe right there! But I digress....although, submit that I could survive in there for days alone!

Another reason that I sort of enjoy poker night - the kids and I get to spend some evening time alone. We just have a different rhythm when J. isn't here. Not that I would ever want him not to be here all the time, it is nice now and again to move to our own beat. After showers, I announced reading time downstairs. Figuring I would get flack, I was shocked to hear a round of cheers! Kaite started devouring her new book and Chris nearly finished his latest Pokemon book. They both begged for five more minutes! ::please God let this last all summer:: I read my book, Marley and Me, while they read.

All the frustration does have it's pay offs. Chris spent most of the night telling me riddles he was reading off the bathroom cups. I am amazed and in awe of his maturity to suddening understand the metaphor in a riddle. He was so pleased with himself.
C: Mom- why wasn't the elephant allowed to fly on the plane?
M: I don't know
C: Because his trunk wouldnt' fit under the seat. ::giggle::
M: ::giggle:: - that is silly
C: Get it mom? Trunk? Not his nose ::giggle:: his suitcase!
M*sigh

Then as we were tucking into bed, I ask each of them what they are going to pray. I don't pray for them any longer. They are old enough to understand that it has to be a conversation from their heart....
M: what are you going to pray about tonight?
K: I don't know, give me an idea.
M: I can't. It has to be on your heart.
K: I don't have anything, everything is just perfect right now.
M: *sigh
If you knew the challenges she and I had together today, you would see why this amazed me.
So for all the frustration - there are this little bones they throw me now and again. Reminders that we are doin' ok!!

Happy beginning of summer everyone!

Thought for the day

What is it about a boy's room that always seems to make it have an odor?

It is an odor that can drive a mother wild walking around trying to find what must be decomposing under the bed.

Must be their sneakers.

Hmmmm.....

6-6-06

Oh - the devil didn't take over the world today? Gee - all that worrying for nothing....

Anywhooooo............Can't believe it has been six days since I last posted!!

Busy busy busy!!

Trying to get the pool ready - rain is not helping....

This weekend was the dance recital. Everyone there! What fun!! Kaite and I did our Mother- Daughter dance..(along with Ang and Sarah, and Lisa and Heather)...which of course left Jim in charge of the camera...which you guessed it - no great pictures.To his credit, it is tough to take good shots with the dark lighting and such. Kaite's hip hop class, got mostly blurry because they were moving so fast.

But - yup - there is big thick ol me dancin' away with Kaite in our pajamas. It was wayyyyy to much fun!

And - dudes - can I tell you how totally proud I am of my sister?? That is she and her husband doing the Charleston! Guys, this is a gal who does not have a generous portion of self esteem, and usually can not even look squarely at herself in the mirror. She did it. She got up in front of an entire audience and DANCED the Charleston. Quite well might I add! Way to go Ang!

Jim and I could have done it as well. And he could have done the dad dance. I didn't even get to finish my sentence when asking him if he might like to do it. Not enough alcohol in the world. yes - my wet blanket of a husband. wouldnt' even consider it. Oh well.

What else have we been up to? Kaite and I went on a field trip to Philadelphia yesterday. We did one of those DUKW tours. The big old bus that turns into a boat and drives in the river. The first few seconds when we entered the water were a bit weird, but once I realized that there was no water coming in, it was fun! We had a great tour guide. She was very animated and obviously enjoys her job. She took us down South St and rocked that bus! Spent time at the new Constitution Center. Gorgeous place. the sentiment and importance of it lost on a class of 12 year olds. Seriously, not something that is appreciated I think until we are much more mature. Cool IMax movie, Under the Sea...then home again.

Last day of school is tomorrow. Woohooo. I love having the kids home in the summer. Miss my free time, but love that they are here, and things slow down a bit. Hopefully we will be swimming sometime before the 4th of July! Kaite is now officially in youth group now, so there are a ton of activities this summer - including their version of the Amazing Race. I am looking forward to that one!

So that is it. All caught up. I think. I know there is a ton I missed. But really just everyday life as usual around here. Keeping all the balls in the air, and running on the hamster wheel.

Sixth Grade Recognition

Tonight was Sixth Grade Recognition. Our school's version of elementary graduation.

You are looking at the recipient of the Art Creativity Award! She was so excited!! ( Kaite : Art is my best subject!) She absolutely never expected to get one award. Her art teacher summed it well - this award was given to the kids that showed creativity and free thinking, as she put it - "the world needs more of them". More free thinkers. More of those that dare to challenge traditional ways of seeing the world. People who are willing to paint pink trees and orange sky.

The award is now sitting next to her bed. I did make sure to remind her that she didn't need an award to be special and that she is special to us every day.

I will save my " I hate academic awards ceremonies" speech. Even though Kaite got an award - doesn't change my opinion. I really am not fond of our need as a society to constantly reaffirm and praise the over achievers, who are typically already receiving accolades and more respect than those students who happen to have to work a bit harder and may not meet the bar, or the quiet respectful average child who doesn't make waves. Oh - I did say I would save it didn't I?
The best award ever ? Every teacher Kaite has had has told me how sweet, kind, willing to help, friendly and what a pleasure my daughter is to have in class.

Kaite also officially received her Promotional Certificate. You know what that means? She is a seventh grader now. Has the Boyertown Jr High t-shirt to wear and everything!

Where have the last seven years gone? Where is that chubby faced little girl that could barely peek out of the bus windows? What has happened!? Man- what a ride the last seven years have been. All I keep hearing in my head - "Please keep your hands inside the ride at all times. Please hold onto the bar. Enjoy the ride!" when I think of the next six years. Class of 2012. The principal said that and I think you could hear a collective gasp in the room. A new chapter starting. More of her story. I know how I would love to see it written. Doesn't every parent have those big dreams for their children. But the hardest part of being a parent is not being able to write it word for word. I can guide, suggest , recommend, and pray, but the rest is up to Kaite. Which paths will she follow? One lesson I have learned is that all I can hope for is that they are the best that they can be in everything that they do. My biggest wish is that they are happy, successful in what they do, and find their sweet spot in life - the spot that will be most rewarding and happy for them. Here we go - buckle up! The ride is about to begin!

Wheew!

I asked Jim tonight as I was looking into this weekend's pictures, if he realilzes how much we have packed into this month!? Wheew- Is all I can say! Not to mention the things we packed into this weekend!! Forgive me - the pictures loaded backwards onto the blog, and I do not have the patience to delete them and start over. I will start at the end - this is where Jim and I conceeded defeat. The hole beat us down - got the better of us - and yes, we both had to admit, we just can't do it. So the call has been made, to the local contractor working on our friend's house (Hi A.! ) We started Saturday am with renting a desodder - and spent the rest of Sat and Sunday hauling, moving and replacing sod. You see - turfing it up for the pool wasn't enough for us! Noooo - Jim decided while we had such nice pieces we might as well take the opportunity to replace some of the horrible bare spots in our yard, and around the patio. I swear if I see one more piece of sod, I may scream. Christopher was allowed to drive the tractor to help pull Daddy's make shift "trailer" - aka sledding saucer - to help move the sod. This of course, with Mom walking right next to the tractor. Thought he was a big man though! After moving all the sod, today started the attempt to dig out the hole to level it for the pool. 8 hours later, this is all that was finished - and both of us were beat down. Jim was running the tiller to loosen the dirt, and I was shovelin' and haulin' (which also was another aha moment - if we had all this great top soil- let's schlep it to the front yard to fill in the thatch spots so we can reseed - yet another step to the process) We have both had it. We are calling in the troops! Woohooo!
We did find time to have some fun! I wish there was more photo space here for sharing. After all that yard work - I grilled for the family Saturday night, and wound up (long story) getting together with a old old old friend! Haven't seen this gal in nearly 25 years! Believe it or not! We were best friends as children, as our families were friends. Lost touch when my parent's split up. It was like time has never passed. Quite an incredible experience, and we can garuntee that time and distance will not keep us apart now.
Sunday nite - we had our best friends over for dinner and smores. Kaite's face pretty much sums that up! We always have a nice relaxing fun time with the Gorman's. We have literally been friends as long as Jim and I have been together. Seemed to be a weekend with good old friends. Monday nite - after I threw my hands in the air and conceeded defeat to tho hole - I did manage to take the kids to see Over the Hedge. Cute. Not as funny as the comic strip - but good. The kids liked it - no adult humor but lots of pop culture references in all the right places. Made me laugh out loud a few times. So that is it - our weekend, part work part play - as usual - too much packed into too few days.
This is Me, Sherry, and my sister. We were friends when we were Kaite's age. It is indescribable how incredible it was to see her, and eventually the rest of her family later than night.
Christopher on the tractor. He is getting way too big way too fast!
Last but not least, my worker bee. Gotta love a man who isn't afraid of a bit of hard work. Chris and Kaite said he looked like a pharoah when he but the cloth under his hat. No pictures of grundgy sweaty me working .....I think Kaite managed to get one, but of course I am the web master so it will never be seen here!! Bwahahahahaa!!!

It is actually happening!

So - it has begun. Digging for the pool! Yes - we are getting a pool! There will be no extra money for the rest of the year, but vacation is paid for, and we have the spending money saved up - so we'll be ok - barring any more pinched nerves or other major issues! Have faith right? The kids are staying home this summer with a college baby sitter and I wanted them to be able to swim here at home. Plus as a family we'll use this far more often then we would go to the public pool.

The backhoe guy couldn't get here for two more weeks. Therefore - Jim decides we can dig ourselves. And didn't I journal a couple of weeks ago how glad we were that there were no major physical labor projects left to do around here? Last night Jim started taking up the sod. Chris, as is typical, was all over helping. If it involves using a tool the kid is there! Couldn't wait to get his hands on a pick axe! Not easy to take up sod, and I am was not surprised to here Jim say that he was renting a desodder tomorrow! Then all we have to do is dig the 12 in or so difference, only it is spread over 24 ft in a circle! That is a ton of dirt!! But we are the original do it yourselfers!

Zoey was also quite the helper! I am not sure you can see how dirty her face is in this picture but she was in the dirt nose and all. When we pushed the shovel under the sod and pushed it up, she thought there was something under there and went crazy digging and barking. She even got up hunks of sod and was tossing them around! Only problem is that we were trying to move the pieces of sod to a bare spot near the deck and she kept trying to dig them up!

So yet again - we spend another Memorial Day weekend in our work clothes. Last year , we laid the patio, this year a pool! Man - if you came into our backyard you would think we have money!! Ha! Free hot tub - do it yourself budget cutting - it's all good!

Better be fair

In the interest of being fair I also have to share a layout of Kaite-even though it is going to be weird I posted Chris' layout first but this one is going to appear first - anyhow..... this is the layout I completed of Kaite last week on Poker Night. I was just messing around with the camera one day - trying out different framing angles. I think I posted some of the pictures here already. I love how they really captured the real Kaite - not the silly cheesy smile Kaite that I usually get in pictures. She is so much more intense and serious than Chris is.
I used the lyrics of the song Unwritten for the layout.....I try to tell Kaite she is the master of her own future. It is unwritten, waiting for her to finish it. Pretty much - for all of us - no matter what we have been given, or to use my poker night theme - dealt in life. How we play the cards and end the hand is completely up to us. So I thought the words to the song suited the pictures very well. On the right side of the layout, I used some word stickers that I had to use on the layout, and described her personality now. Then at the bottom I put - "but what will you be?" No matter how well I know my children, I don't know what they will be. I know my hopes and dreams for them, but that is as far as I can take it. The rest is up to them. I can only hope that I have gotten them started out on the right way. At some point, I can't control it anymore. I think that may be the worst and most rewarding moment of my life - the day they take over and do it themselves. I am so not ready for it but I can't wait to read the rest of their story.
Ok that is a lot of thinking just to share a layout!

Poker Night

I am starting to love poker night. Jim has started going on Wednesday nights.

I put the kids to bed, and I head to my scrap table. Tonight I finished this layout of Chris for the monthly contest at memory lane, pa.

Christopher's smile. Ever present. Doesn't need much coaxing. Man - I love that smile. Nothing can melt my heart faster than that little face looking up at me with that smile. As I was going through some pictures, I realized there were so many pictures of that face,s o I thought I would immortalize it in a layout.

Love ya dude.

well....

I think I can safely say I will not be getting the Mother of the Year Award anytime soon.

The guinea pig died today.

Poor thing.

I am just praying that I did not have anything to do with it.
Coincidently, he died while he was outside getting some fresh air. A nice breezy sunny day. I can not see any reason why it would hurt him, but stranger things have happened. His water was still there, his food was eaten....but alas, he was not alive when I went back out to get him. Funny - I was going out to get him to give him a nice bath, toe nail trim and hair cut.

*sigh Kaite is, of course, devastated. Chris kind of took it all in stride, but has been quiet. He wanted to know more of the how's, Kaite wanted to know more of the why's. She is a bit upset with me because we won't take it to the vet to find out why it died. Sorry - no guinea pig autopsy here.

Here is where I lose my Mother of the Year Award.Don't get me wrong, I am consoling my children and my heart breaks for them. They are sad, understandably so. But as I console them, I have to bite my tongue to keep from reminding them that no one has paid the poor thing one minute of attention in nearly a year. Yup - no Mother of the Year here. But thankfully, I do not say it allowed. I was tempted to test my "it would take them weeks to realize he is gone theory" - but stopped myself. See - I am not all bad.

I, on the other hand, will miss the little bugger. No more squeaking when I open the refrigerator and dig in the lettuce drawer. Zoey I think will have a tough time too. She has been back and forth between his empty cage and the back yard a million times in the last half hour...she saw him in the box, and now I don't think she realizes where he is. No more licking his ears while I change his cage.

So tonight, we had the graveside service at the Fishlock Memorial Pet Cemetary by the garden in the back yard, where he will join the miriad of fish and hamsters buried there. There will be ice cream at Longacre's after the service. That should get my Mother of the Year status back - and I do get credit for not thinking out loud.

RIP Doodle - I will miss you.