I know I know

It has been two weeks since I blogged!

Life is crazy!

But things are good.

Busy happy aholiday weekend at my brother's in NC. As soon as he sends me the pictures I will post them. He has an AWESOME Olympus SLR digital camera with cool lenses, so of course, I used that instead of my camera. Sooooo jones'in for one of those cameras.

So hang in there. I will post soon!

Just sharing

Tonight was C's fourth grade chorus concert. I just sit and look at all these kids that have been in C's class or grade all these years, and I still marvel at how mature and older they are all starting to look. I remember little kindergarten kids and their tiny faces. C sang a little, and didn't. But looked like he was having fun. Every year this is also the night that I take the opportunity to get a shot of them with their teacher. So this is also a shot of C with His teacher. He seems to really like her and is doing very well. The other shot is him being silly at home before we left. Much better than the stuffy posed too much with a stiff smile shot! I have given up trying to get a picture of them singing on stage. My camera just can't so it. *sigh*

The other shots are from last Friday nite. Speaking of looking mature. This is "the" little black dress. Seems this dance was different from the others, and required a more special dress, and she would not settle for a skirt. So we went off to the mall. Found this adorable dress, that was affordable , had to get shoes and everything. Thankfully will be able to worn again for Christmas and her chorus concert. We had a bit of a time agreeing on "appropriate" in the dress and heel height, but agreed faster than I expected. She raided my jewelry box for earrings and a necklace. I can remember Jr Hi dances, and knew, and was right, that the first thing she would say when she came home was "my feet hurt". She was excited and wound up when she breezed in. I didn't get to pick her up. I was on drop off duty, and missed the after dance chatter -all- the -way- home stage.

So as much as my heart aches when I see them growing up and away from me, I rejoice that they are happy healthy children, that bless me with smiles and challenges on a daily basis. It is so easy to look at other children, and compare. What is normal? Am I screwing it all up? Are they doing ok? Should I push K more? Back off? There are days I just need to be reminded that they are normal, just in their own way. They are polite, and pleasant to other adults, active and healthy, growing like weeds. So all is ok.

Updating soon

Promise!!

Updating soon!

Pictures of K.'s "special" dance. Christopher has a chorus concert tonight.

Been thinking a lot about being "content" lately.

So soon soon soon I promise updates coming!

Unlikely mentor

My grandmother.

I believe one of the most influential people in my life.

Was she a PhD? Run her own company? Ever hold a paying job?

Nope.

She was a poor Pa Dutch girl educated to the eighth grade in a one room schoolhouse. Helped her father in his painting business until she married. Then has spent the rest of her life, raising five children, with an alcoholic husband, most of her life in a two bedroom glorified shack, with barely enough money to buy groceries. Then, loved, cared for and baby sat countless grandchildren and great grandchildren. Never drove a car. Never held a job outside the home in her married life. Never contributed to society in any of the ways one is often measured as "successful" in this day and age.

But she has taught me more than I believe anyone else in my life.

She taught me to love no matter what. Even those who may hurt you.
She taught me to appreciate some of the things I hold most dear to me now.
My love of the outdoors, long walks in the woods, taking time to appreciate God's creation.
My love of baking and cooking, and the many fond memories I have of large family meals. Let me get right in there and help cut cookies and seal pickle jars.
Gardening and the enjoyment of fresh vegetables.
My love of playing cards and particularly pinocle.
Taught me to appreciate how sheets smell fresh off the line.
She taught me to make do, appreciating what we have.
Humility. She is the most humble person I know. Would never dream of cheating another person, offers her seat and place in line more times than I could ever count.
She taught me to always make the best of a situation.
Be faithful. God's plan is in there somewhere.
She taught me to be frugal. This woman can stretch a dollar farther than anyone I know, and when I indulge myself, I can always hear her comment in my head "that is so dear". To her, "Dear" was expensive.
She taught me acceptance and unconditional love. She played with us. Included us in what ever she was doing. Never judged how we were doing something, just praised us just the same.
She may never have graduated highschool, but never stopped exercising her mind. Until her memory started to go was always reading, and doing puzzles to keep herself sharp.
She taught me to be strong. She worked hard every day.
She taught by example and rarely had to raise her voice.
She loves without ever expecting anything in return.

Even now, as I watch her grow old, and she is beginning to fail, she continues to teach me. Insists on paying her way, when she has nothing. Can not accept the fact that it simply brings me joy to help her and to spend that time with her. She is appreciative and kind to every single person who helps her where she lives. She continues to love and be accepting of her children even now as they rarely visit her, she is never bitter. As she sits and wonders why God continues to allow her to live, when she feels she is no longer useful, she still says that He must have a plan for her.

I am so blessed that my children have had a chance to know her, although I wish they could know her the way I did when I was their age.

No, she has not made her mark in this world the way most people measure success, but I can only hope in my life I am half the woman that she is, and can teach my children and grandchildren the way she has taught me.

I love you Granny. *kiss*

So it seems

Blogger didnt' want to post K's pictures. here is the amazing Cleopatra. These are from the school dress up dance. Seems it would just be social suicide to be seen with her brother wearing a box, so the pictures I tried to get halloween night aren't that great. I will share these. Same costume.

Finally Halloween!

I have been trying to get Blogger to post my pictures for two days. PRAYING this works today!

First, thanks to everyone who has commented or emailed me to try to get me past this blue period. It helps tremendously. The weather the last few days, and a nice long hour walk last night in the crisp air, has really helped. I am still not quite myself, but I am getting back there.

Now - Halloween. Halloween is not my favorite holiday by any stretch of the imagination. But I do enjoy all the little ones and their costumes, and ooh and ahh'ing over them. Listening to the giggles from the street, the parent's chatting, it is very "Norman Rockwell" for just a little while here. We pretty much get a constant parade for about an hour and half, I simply sit out on the porch and hand out the candy. No sense coming inside. Beating the streets for candy is Daddy's job now that the kids are older.

First is my little robot. This costume had changed a million times before halloween actually came around, so the final product was as much a surprise to me as anyone else. It was a hit on the block, even won "Most original" and got C. a bit of extra candy at a house down the street.


K. went totally dramatic this year, Cleopatra. She is all about the wig, and the dress. Not quite enough "glitz" for her on the outfit, but the price was right shall we say! This was the first year, she was invited by friends to trick or treat with them. I was so torn. I trust our neighborhood, and the kids she was with, but this is the end of another stage! Geesh, they are coming so fast lately! It was also such a fabulous social kudo for her to be invited. I couldn't deny her that. She struggles so with fitting in and to be invited to hang out with other kids her age was wonderful. There were a few fauz pas made in the evening that I had to discuss with her - such as "just because mommy or daddy doesn't answer the phone doesn't mean it is ok for us to now know where you are." She had ended the night up the street and stayed there sorting her candy. No big deal. But when 9 pm rolls around and still no K. and the last I had seen her she ran into our house, I obviously missed her running back out, was no fun. We were outside with the smaller kids, very easy to walk down and tell us what was going on. So after a bit of the "if you want these priviledges" chats, we are cool.