Baseball

Does anything say spring more than playing baseball in the backyard? Christopher can't wait to start playing this weekend. He has a new helmet and batting gloves. All set to go. I love to sit back and watch the kids play with Jim in the backyard. I enjoy getting involved too, but there are times I like to just sit back and watch. It gives me such a sense of place and peace to see them and listen to them laugh, or tease each other, encourage each other. This is what it is all about. Enjoying what time we have together. Playing. Laughing. So much of that gets lost in the daily hustle and bustle at times. We have to be here and there, and forget to take a moment and take it all in.

I also went around the house today and took some pictures for an album I am working on. I took this picture of the front porch and it dawned on me, how much I love pulling into the driveway. Ten years ago if you would have ever told me that where I would be happiest would be in my kitchen or in my garden toiling around, I would have laughed at you. What do you mean? I am going to be a big career woman.I wanna live in the city. Travel. Own the world. What changed and when I am not sure - except that I new immediately that I hated the city. One day, I just stopped fighting it and realized where I wanted to be was here. Home. Surrounded by the things that I love, spending time doing the things I enjoy and spending time with the three people that matter the most to me. And you know - that is ok. I believe this is where God wants me to be. And you know what? I couldn't be happier. Sometimes it is scary to be happy. Sort of like the feeling that if I dare to be happy, something has got to come along to change that. So for me, it is about trying to enjoy being happy. Makes no sense, but it's me! I never protest to be normal. Right now I just take each day as it comes, pausing to enjoy the moments, get through the "have to's" of life, and be happy.

Spring Spring Spring Spring

It is finally here!! And as much as I have complained about waiting for it to get here, I would have been remiss not to pause to acknowledge it's arrival. The buds are all over the lilacs. The crocus that survived the rabbits are in full bloom. The daffs are getting ready to open. The delphinium - my favorites by the way - are coming up. And, most exciting - the hollyhocks are finally coming back this year! I usually have to replant them every year. It feels so good to get out in the garden and clean it out, and make it ready for spring. Very therapeutic. Not as therapeutic as retail therapy but works well for me.

Christopher was so excited to hop on the Weather Bug this morning and announce that it was going to be 62 degrees. Then, to see him get even more excited when he read that Friday was going to be 68. I swear he may be the next Al Roker. He loves to check the Weather Bug every morning. He already has laid out a pair of new shorts he has been dying to wear since we picked them up last weekend. Kaite decided to try to go to school today in a pair of shorts and tank top! I wound up having to , um - not so gently - remind her that while it may be getting warmer it is still March and that was not appropriate. One smart comment on her way up the stairs but she did go change. Thank goodness.

So spring is here! Time for renewal. Time for new beginnings. So no matter what is going on right now, I am going to take a minute to reflect and recommit. Start fresh.

Done!

Finally! Done!

I put the second set of cubbies together this afternoon, because of course 9 small cubbies are not enough for a boy who collects everything! So now there are 18 spaces, and believe it or not, some are still empty. The spaces and shelf all together are the perfect size. Not too tall. Not too small. I did manage to talk Christopher into getting rid of a few things. I couldn't help but reflect on what we were rearranging as we were cleaning up. Quite an eclectic mix for a boy of nine. Interesting to see what is important to him. He keeps everything. Ever since he has been small. Any empty containers that maybe he could some day "make into something mommy". I took pictures of everything, to journal about it in his scrapbook, but will only put a few here. There is everything on there, from bead necklaces ( from his girlfriend - ack!), Bionicles, and Game Boy to magnetix, playdoh, derby cars, chap stick and instruction booklets (can't through those away!). Jim wanted to put up one more cubbie of 8. I had to draw the line somewhere. The more cubbies he has, the more he will find to put in them! His room looks huge now. Those fabric totes/drawers are awesome. Holds nicely all those "little" things any boy could want.

And now, my Big Boy is very excited that Christopher's dresser is now in "his" room...aka "man cave", "cigar room", "the office"....just as soon as I get the teddy bear border off the walls
Why is he excited? Because now he can start filling it with his "stuff". What stuff might I ask? I get no reply. Just "stuff". Gee, wonder where Chris gets it?

Lyrics

You know how sometimes you just can't get a song out of your head that just seems to have touched a place in you that you weren't sure was there? I heard this song a few weeks ago. I am sure it is not new. I am not hip enough to be "up" on the latest. At the time, I missed some of the song and who sang it. They never tell you that on the radio anymore. But I heard it again today, came home and did a quick web search. Whether you like country music or not, which I happen to, you can not deny that sometimes the lyrics just speak the truth. Something that modern pop and rock seem to occasionally forget. The song is Life Ain't Always Beautiful by Gary Allen. He sings it beautifully, and it is truer than any song, other than One Hot Mama , has been in a long time. Funny the part that affects me the most isn't even the chorus. Insert almost anyone you have ever lost into the "you" he refers to in the song, and this can be you. It has taken me a long time to come to grips with some of life's struggles, but they do make us stronger and wiser, and happiness does come. God knows metal with any strength has been through a hot fire and come out the other side stronger for it. So goes our lives. God will always bring us through the fire and we will always be stronger on the other side. And sometimes life ain't beautiful, and yeah, I'll say it - that sucks. But if we take the time to appreciate our life at the moment and love what we have, it can be a beautiful ride.

written by Cyndi Goodman and Tommy Lee James

Lyrics
Life ain’t always beautiful
Sometimes it’s just plain hard
Life can knock you down,it can break your heart
Life ain’t always beautiful
You think you’re on your way
And it’s just a dead end road at the end of the day
But the struggles make you stronger
And the changes make you wise
And happiness has it’s own way of taking it’s sweet time
Chorus: No life ain’t always beautiful
Tears will fall sometimes
Life ain’t always beautiful
But it’s a beautiful ride
Life ain’t always beautiful
Some days I miss your smile
I get tired of walkin' all these lonely miles
and I wish for just one minute
I could see your pretty face
Guess I can dream, but life don’t work that way
But the struggles make me stronger
And the changes make me wise
And happiness has its own way of taking it’s sweet time
No life ain’t always beautiful
But I know I’ll be fine
Hey, life ain’t always beautiful
But it’s a beautiful ride
What a beautiful ride

Lotsa thoughts today

I found out about Max Lucado's new book - Cure for the Common Life, Living in your sweet spot - last week at tennis. (Don't you just want to read a book that has two cozy sleeping labs on the cover? Don't we all want to feel that content?) Today, one of my dear friends ( Hi Maria!) told me she was reading her copy, and was thinking of me. She was thinking that I am already there! That really threw me. I know over the past year, I have been trying very hard to find a peaceful place in my life. Find my place to be happy and content, and balance it with what my family and job demand of me. I know I have felt a big difference in myself, but it really meant a lot to me that someone else noticed. There are still way too many days that I feel stressed and tense, but I am finding it easier and easier to focus and settle down on those days. Being an "out there" Christian is sometimes difficult for me. Let's just say testimony is not my strong suit. I have always said, that I try to live my life so that someone that meets me and know me will say there is 'something' different about me, and maybe that will give me the opportunity to share why. It meant a lot to me that someone noticed something. Wow. Sometimes I think wives and mothers spend a lot of their days feeling like shadows, always there but never really noticed. Not that our families do it intentionally, but moms and wives are often taken for granted. Don't we all just want someone to pay attention? Every now and then when someone says something that makes you realize that they were actually seeing you, it throws us for a loop. The most important part was that she took the time to tell me. Friends are amazing. I think this thought has gone way off of where I started!

I am looking forward to starting this book tonight and I am sure I will be sharing more about it here.

I also wanted to thank you all that have commented on enjoying the blog and my thoughts. I really write for me, and to share with family.(Hi Neena!) I have tried over and over again to hand journal, and usually turn it into a dumping ground for all things negative. Speaking to a third person, makes me think and write differently. I am having quite a bit of fun with it, and am glad to have the chance to share. It is also great to do things, like finally get my african violet story in print, and out of my head. Something I never would have done if it wasn't for the blog.

Husband Schusbnad

Jim and I have not seen much of each other this last week. We were looking forward to spending the day together Sunday. Well, true to form - I swear Lynch has a crystal ball that can tell when we are planning something, and makes sure a job comes up - Jim got a call in the morning asking if he can come help with a service call. I got the ol' "You know they only call me when they need my expertise" speech. So, off he went for what turned out to be a 12 hour service call.

So that left me alone, yet another day with the kids. We adore each other, but quite honestly, I think they are getting tired of me. The answer!? SHOPPING! Teehee...off to Target we went to get a new storage shelf for Christopher's room. The child can not throw anything away and the tiny top of his dresser was just not cutting it. Although it did give quite an interesting look into the mind of a nine year old boy. Everything from an empty rootbeer bottle to Pokemon cards and notes. Since there is such a large closet, we decided to put all of his clothes on the shelves in the closet, and I got a hanging sweater shelf for his jeans etc. That meant we could ditch the dresser and get a larger shelf for his room. Once we got it home, he finished cleaning some things up and I put it together. Who needs a husband? I often tell Jim he is lucky he married a "hearty" woman - who can bang a nail, carry dry wall and help lay patio brick! Sometimes I wonder if I get too independent and he starts depending on me too much or just assuming something will get done because I will do it.

Well this independent gal ain't waitin' around for no man to put no shelf together!

Finally!!!

My kids ROCK!

Can I just say - My kids ROCK!

This morning at tennis lessons, not only did the instructor compliment me on how nice, well behaved and helpful my children are, but also our chiropractor and his wife that are in the class with us backed her up. They may drive me crazy here at home, but I know that they are always sweet and respectful to other adults, and they LOVE to help. The instructor offered that Kaite could join the adult class. It is smaller and get this - SHE IS GOOD ENOUGH. Christina said that Kaite and I make a good pair to play each other. I teasingly said, "oh yeah - you mean I play at an 11 year old level?" No, Kaite is as good enough to keep up with the adults! But of course! Christina said she has natural hand eye coordination and upper body strength. This is the first thing that Kaite has been truly passionate about it. So I am so happy that she is doing so well!!

Then - off we were to a bowling tournament this afternoon. Somewhere in Bethlehem in some underground bowling alley! Reminded me of prohibition, having to knock on the door and know the password, but once we were inside, it was a nice computerized alley. Kaite had a bit of an anxiety attack when we got there. She often does this in new situations. But we talked through it, she stayed and wound up doing so well!! Did I say - My kids ROCK! They both bowled extremely well. Kaite bowled two games over 125 (which is nearly 50 pins over average), and Chris doubled his average all three games. I have seen them grow so much since we started this in the fall. It is something they enjoy. They only really compete against themselves. It is perfect for them because they do not have to "keep up" and follow the action of a fast paced game. Their self-esteem has really improved. It is rather nostalgic for me. I spend many many many saturday afternoons in bowling league with my grandparents. Or Friday nites at the alleys while they bowled. We had so much fun! I was so glad when the kids wanted to try it, and are actually enjoying it too! We have decided to join the summer "family league" at Limerick Bowl. Both of them, and I will be a team. I think it is going to be great family time. Man, I am taking tennis lessons and am now going to have a bowling night! Man - am I getting a real life??

I couldnt' take pictures today because of the foul lights. But here are some pictures of us bowling last summer....Blogger is being a "bugger" with the pictures right now. I will try to add them later. Update Sunday - I STILL CANT POST THE PICTURES! Argh!

Can't be right.

Here it is , nearly midnight.
I can't sleep.
No - not too many lattes.
No - not worrying about money.
What is keeping me up?
This scrapbook!
This is my next memory lane assignment.
A mini album. Topic of my choice, I grabbed the "family" Bazill Chiptoppers and decided on a family album. I had no idea what I was actually going to do with it.
Then it started to come together. .......
What a feeling! The adrenalin!
This can't be right!? This is keeping me awake!

I started the cover earlier tonight. I made Jim smile. How cool is that?

I am going to include a section documenting our home. The house. The places we love to hang in and outside of the house. A section on us, as a family that lives in the house, and then a section for "those we love" - which will include extended family and friends.

So now what is keeping me up? I am excited! I am weird. Pictures to pick are floating around in my head. Who to include? Do I have a digital pic of them, since that is so much easier? Have to stop and pick up fabric tomorrow to tear for the binding. The album is going to be all in black and white pictures. What order to put them in? At the risk of sounding totally off the wall, my fingers are itching to get at it!! So much so I can't sleeeeeep! I am so excited to be into this sort of scrapbook now. without this assignment, I never would have approached it this way and made this sort of album. Just the reason I wanted the challenge of being a designer. Way cool.

Who new that my paper obsession as a teenager would evolve into such a high! I am so not right.

Beautiful things

These make me happy.

Thank goodness!!

This is one reason I believe it is very important to me, and I suppose most humans, to surround ourselves with things that we love. To me, that is beautiful things, things that smell good, and warm cozy things.

This morning was one of those mornings when I wonder why God thought I was good enough to be my children's mother. There are just some days where I am certainly not the mother I want to be. Having kids with attention issues who are not morning people, I have had to resign myself to the fact that my morning will never be smoothly flowing and stress-free. Accepting that has helped tremendously. But sometimes even on the best planned, clothes laid out, lunches packed mornings, when I find Chris in his room suddenly looking for something he remembered - which immediately becomes the most important thought in his head - when he is supposed to be in the bathroom brushing his teeth, after already being 20 minutes behind because he wouldn't get out of bed - I lose it. I get exhausted from the anger at me because I can't suddenly stop the clock and keep the bus from being on time. Focus impaired children do not do well with deadlines and getting ready for school is one big deadline. So - this morning was one of those mornings that after giving big kisses, I love you's and have a good days - I wave and shut the door behind them, turn around, lean against it and heave a sigh of relief. Guilt and sadness for feeling that way takes over. I hate starting my days like this.

Then, I walk into the kitchen, go to the sink to wash a few dishes before I get my breakfast, and happen to notice that my african violets had bloomed seemingly in that instant. I hadn't noticed that yesterday. I immediately feel better. This is why it is important to surround myself with things that I love and make me happy. I love pretty things, things that smell good, pretty colors.....these make me happy.

These flowers have especially important meaning to me. I am going to finally put this story in print. I rescued these african violets from my mom's house after she died. When we were cleaning her things out for me dad, I discovered these water starved and near death in her bedroom window. I brought them home, and started praying I could save them. I can grow anything outside. My perennial beds, I feel, I pretty and colorful. But I am not notorious for my ability to keep potted plants alive. I kept them on the huge kitchen window sill we had in the old house, and watered them , and prayed. I lost one, but these other two somehow recovered, but never bloomed. A year later, I was puttering around the house one afternoon, feeling particular sad and depressed. We were getting ready to go on vacation, back to Myrtle Beach, where we were when mom died, and we were approaching the one year anniversary. This day I was packing and just allowing myself a day of self-pity. I crossed the kitchen to the frig, which was right next to the window sill. As I opened the refrigerator door, I happened to glance over to the sill and notice there were two tiny little purple flowers on both plants! Their first blloms in my house! I, of course, immediatly started to cry, but also felt such a feeling of peace. Everything was going to be ok. At that moment, it was clear. We would be ok. That was nearly 7 years ago. They are still alive and bloom quite often.
This is why I try my best to surround myself with things that I love that make me happy. Once in awhile, a small bloom can change your whole day.

I need spring!

Could someone please tell Mother Nature that it is now spring? We had a warmer than usual winter, and now she has chosen to make spring FRIGID! I had to find a warm picture to post! Ah, Myrtle Beach. I will close my eyes often today, and imagine as the frigid wind is piercing my skin, that I am actually on the beach in SC relaxing in the sun. *sigh Since I haven't posted a picture of Jim on the blog yet, I figured now was a good time! What a trooper he was too. His neck was injured. He was having surgery as soon as we got home. Yet , he would not ruin our vacation. He continued to smile and try to have a good time even though I am sure he was incredibibly incomfortable. Have I said I love you enough??

Blogger was down for maintanence last night, so I couldn't post when I wanted to write. My brain always seems to be more full of stuff that wants to come out in the evening rather than morning. This morning my head is clear and ready for the day, so I am trying to remember what I wanted to write last night.

Oh!! I heard yesterday and actually again this morning, that the average Amercian spends 5 to 6 hours a day in front of some sort of digital media - computer, tv, video games. This is aside from computer use for jobs. The topic of discussion was of course, our society's tendacy to be avoiding more face to face interaction and social activities. Which I do agree with to some degree. But as anything else in life, balance has to be the key. Some gamers can spend 5 hours a day doing nothing but intereacting with computer generated images in a digital game program! Parents need to monitor and limit video game use and internet use with their kids. The kids will learn from the parents what is appropriate. One of my first thoughts, was about myself. Am I spending too much time at these things? The internet for me is such an incredible source of social interaction! I keep in touch with so many more friends in cyber space than I could ever interact with in a typical week, as well as being able to "chat" with them when I can't call. I keep in touch with long distance friends. I participate in more discussion and research about my incredible scrapbook hobby more on the internet than I ever could in person. So for me, the internet is about social interaction, not avoidance. Jim and I don't watch much tv, and the kids as well are monitored and given limits. What time Jim and I do spend in front of the tv, is our cuddle couple time. We snuggle up on the couch together with our respective evening beverages of choice, enjoy the quiet time, talk about the day, discuss what we are watching (Yes I have him hooked on Grey's Anatomy!) and just relish being alone together.

So, I breath and small sigh of relief. I think we are ok. We all still have healthy happy face to face social interactions on a daily basis balanced with a small healthy dose of "digital media". The kids play outside as much as they watch tv. Yes - when I was a child, things were very different. But I also can't deny how wonderful the internet can be! Where else could I type in "cow paper bag puppet" and in less then 1 min have a free pattern in my hand for a craft project for preschool story time at school? Gotta love technology!! Let's just learn to balance it!

An even better day

Is it a hall way? Is it a drag strip?
Tonight is was a drag strip!
On the heels of the science fair, they were doing a "study" to see which cars went faster.
I am so blessed that Kaite and Chris still get along so well. What was even more wonderful about tonight was that they were so much more relaxed than usual. They have PSSA testing at school this week, which means little or no homework. Since we live with their ADD and the increased stress and tension on a daily basis, I sometimes don't even "feel" it, until a day that it isn't there. Tonight, it was not there. Usually, until we have worked through their homework, it is immediately time to start the bedtime routine, which takes a lot of redirection and firmness from me. It was so nice for them to have extra free time tonight, I enjoyed listening to them play and encouraging them. They were so much happier getting ready for bed, and all smiles when I came to kiss them goodnight.
There are days I would give my right arm to take this pressure and stress away from them. Then again, I know it is molding them and making them who God wants them to be. I am amazed on a daily basis by their will and strength. Kaite was so proud to see a great spelling grade last week because she studied extra hard, that she has started studying next weeks words already! Perserverence. Kaite most certainly has it. She and I also got to run to Micheal's together and spent some great time talking about some things that are going on with her cousin, and shared a terrific Mom-daughter time. I love when we connect.

I have also included a picture of Zoey with her new bandana Kaite picked out for her at Micheal's. This four-legged hairy creature has certainly become an integral part of this family. She is so happy all the time. It is so much fun to watch the kids play with her, and her beg them to play.

Quiet day

Just a very quiet day here. The first one in a long while. Church this morning. Then I spent the afternoon at basket bingo. Haven't done that in FOREVER and had a great time. When I came home, the kids were playing legos. The roast I prepped this morning had come on with the timer, so the house smelled like a sunday should smell, warm and yummy!
One thought that kept coming to my mind when I got home was a conversation I had yesterday at my tennis lesson. First, yes, I said MY TENNIS lesson! Kaite takes lessons at the Y and they offered an adult class immediately following hers. It works because I don't have to make an extra trip or find someone to watch the kids. Kaite is getting quite good, so I thought a few lessons for me would help me be able to play with her a bit better. So, yes, I am taking tennis lessons! Woohoo! Anyway, while waiting to take our turn at back hand, we were chatting about a new Max Lucado booked called Living in the Sweet Spot. The subject obviously came up because we were playing tennis and the sweet spot is where you want to hit the ball on the racket. I remarked that one of the most difficult things we have to do as humans is find "the sweet spot"( never mind the challenge of learning to stay there!) That place in our lives were we feel loved and comfortable, satisfied and happy. For the christian, that also involves our faith. This thought kept hovering in my brain as I puttered around this evening. Sweet spot. My sweet spot definitely starts here. My home. My children. My husband. There is nothing more peaceful than all of us here together. Even if we aren't doing anything together. It just feels right that we are all here. I know I have a long way to go to find true calm and peace, but this is a good start. The world, and usually Oprah, has most of us so conditioned to think we should want more. We can't possibly be satisfied with this! what do you mean you don't want to run a corporation, find a cure for cancer or run a marathon? I personally feel there is nothing wrong with being average, loving our family and putting them first and being perfectly happy doing it. Normalcy is highly under-rated. I know there are people who live perfectly quiet normal average lives that have impacted more people in their life, than most "super stars" ever will. My prayer for everyone I love tonight is that each of you can find your "Sweet spot", be happy in it, and find a way to stay there.

Tool Man

I just had to share this picture from today. Our friends are moving, and gave us a set of bunk beds that won't fit into their son's new room (thanks Angie!) So, we decided to move Christopher's big double bunk set into Kaite's bigger room and put this regular size in Christopher's room.Yesterday, Christopher asked Jim if he could help take his bed apart. After school today, Christopher tore in, and immediately began asking when we were taking apart the bed, defered playing with his friends and just danced around until Jim let him get started. Can you believe that child used that drill ALL BY HIMSELF? He took the entire bed apart and put it back together with help only to hold the boards. He changed the drill bit, reversed the drill, loosened the chuck ...everything...by the way, did you know a drill has a clutch? Chris does! This is a real drill! This is a drill men grunt over. Milwalkee $600 cordless.

ALL BY HIMSELF!

Yes, as I said yesterday, my little boy is no longer little. I swear he was born with a tool belt on, and a hammer in his hand. Nothing like his father?! He is now saving his allowance for a tool he saw at Home Depot that "Daddy is going to show me how to use". I guess I will never have to worry about fixing anything myself!

Adoration

Today, I saw the look of total adoration.

I was with one of my patients. One that I have gotten fond of very quickly. There are just some that touch me immediately. I noticed in his room various pictures on the wall, many drawn by his own hand. Turns out he is an amatuer artist. Chalks, pastels, charcoal. Very interesting for an 88 year old retired ADT inspector. I, of course, loving things arsty, can understand his continued need to create even with arthritic fingers and poor eye sight. As I was looking at his drawing table I noticed one of the photos on the wall, was of a young man and woman, whom I was sure were this gentleman and his wife. Just to make conversation, I asked if that was a picture of them.

His reponse to me.

"Yes, it is. And she is still the most beautiful woman in the world." The look of adoration and love on his face stopped me in my tracks.

Now this is an elderly man, who was married to this woman for 56 years, and she left this earth over 4 years ago. Yet, he still sees the most beautiful woman in the world when he sees her. Not only that, the look os softeness and love on his face was incredible.

I believe every woman in the world deserves this sort of love. To feel unconditional love from someone else in their life who puts them on a pedestal.

I have been told by many of my friends that they wish their husband's would look at them, like mine looks at me at times. And I have usually felt very loved by my husband. I think we have a very good marriage, but I am not sure I have ever seen that look on his face or that 50 years from now he would still describe me as the most beautiful woman in the world. Believe me, I hope so! He doesn't sit and gaze at me like he used to when we first met. We love each other very much and work every day to show each other that love and attention. That extra effort makes a big difference, but as human as we are, we probably don't "notice" each other as much as we had when "we" were new. That is what totally blew me away about this man's reaction. Time had not lessoned his fondness, or adoration. Jim and I try very hard to pause each day, and actually stop, kiss and ignore the rest of the world even if it is only for two minutes in the kitchen. Now I realized even more how important this is for us. I want to adore my husband in 50 years, and I want him to adore me. That is going to take effort now.

Looking around this gentleman's room some more, it is obvious that his wife was one of his favorite artistic subjects. There are quite a few beautiful renditions of her at various ages. Most of the expressions on her face show that she also loved him very much.

Right now, he tells me the only thing he wants to do is get to heaven so he can be with her again.

I will most likely not be seeing him again. I ask if there is anything I can do for him before I go. He tells me no, and thanks me profusely for all I have done. As I leave him, I tell him that I wish him peace, but as I walk away I can not help but say a little prayer that this man will get his wish soon. There will be two very happy angels in heaven.

My little guy

I was informed by my son that his picture was not on my blog. So I would be remiss if I did not hop back on today and add one. This picture is from his birthday last week. One of our family traditions is that the birthday kid gets to make his own birthday cake, icing and all! *Almost* all by themselves. They are always so proud of their creations. Christopher decided this year, he wanted his to be three layers, alternating chocolate and vanilla. We would up with a pretty significant lean on the back, and tons of frosting, but in the end a wonderful creation!

Christopher never ceases to amaze me with his ability to think out of the box. Even his cake couldn't be like a "regular" cake. I can barely believe my boy is nine. Some nights I just sit and look at him. He is still soft in a lot of places, especially his heart. But he is also becoming a "real boy". Firmer, more muscular, no longer a toddler or a little boy, but a young man. His tenderness floors me. My heart swells every time someone tells me what a sweet boy I have with such a kind heart. He is very considerate of other children's feelings. I love that someone besides me can see it.

But yet, in many many ways he is all boy. Just about a week ago, we were walking into memorylane, and the ice storm had left some beautiful icicles hanging on the eave outside the store. I pointed out, as I usually do, how pretty they were and isn't that cool? He looked up, gazed at them, and looks back at me. "Yeah, I could shoot them down." I just had to chuckle and all I could say was, "yup. You sure could."

I am so proud to say he is developing into a perfect mix of tenderness and tough. My little guy.
My dude. My buddy. Always ready to "help" and thankfully also ever ready to give a hug.

March Madness

My version of March Madness? What does it mean to me? It means that crazy "if it doesn't get warm soon I am going to lose my mind!" feeling. We have been spoiled this year by a warmer than usual winter. So the fact that they are now forecasting flurries for tomorrow and it has been blustery and cold for the last two days, is going to send me over the edge! One saving grace....my crocuses (or is it croci?) decided to pop up yesterday. Thank goodness!! There is hope!! Spring will be here even if it doesn't feel like it will ever come! It is amazing how quickly those tiny little flowers boosted my mood. Now if I can just keep the rabbits from eating them we will be ok!! They have chewed a few down so far they even pulled the bulb up!

I can not wait to get into the garden and move the mulch around, yank some weeds, and see some color! FOUR days til spring!

A little side note on the difference between girls and boys..and little humor for your day....when I was saying how the rabbits may eat the flowers before we can enjoy them, Kaite just said, oh what a shame....we should feed the rabbits something else....Christopher's reaction.....we should let Zoey eat the rabbits! Aw...what a sweet thought!

Look what I am doing

Guess what this is??

A project.


On my scrap table.

I am scrapping!!

Is that even a verb?

I had not realized how much I had missed scrapping and creating, until I have begun to do more of it again. When Jim got hurt last year, I put so much on hold to hold everything together, and thought I was doing ok. We finally moved my scraproom upstairs right before Jim's surgery, but I didn't really have the time to start working in it, until after Christmas. He has finally started feeling more like himself again, and I made an oath at the new year that I would devote more time to myself and my scrapping again. Being chosen as a designer for memory lane, pa has given my creative life the injection of adrenalin I was hoping for also. My main motivation for applying was to challenge myself. I thought the challenge itself was developing the nerve to submit. Little did I know, I would be chosen, and the real challenge would begin! I have scrapped more in the last 4 weeks than in the last year! And you know what? It feels good!! With the scrap room in the dining room, the kids can sit at the table in the front room to do their homework and I can sit at my table and create. I am there to help, yet able to work on something fun! I can not believe how much more sane and relaxed I feel after being able to put a few things together, and rearrange a few pieces of paper!!

Everyone should have something to turn to for that moment of sanity. Something that brings the blood pressure down. Even for a few minutes a day, something that makes you feel better.
If you don't have it find it! If I don't find it at my scrap table, I know I can find it in my flower garden. I pray today that everyone can find that place and spend a little time there every day.

My defender

My daughter. My defender. Her strength amazes me! She continues to amaze me on a daily basis with her perserverence and mental strength to keep plugging along no matter what. Today, she floored me even more. She has always rooted for the underdog and can not stand to see any injustice done to anything, human or animal. I picture her some day strapped to a tree somewhere saving some poor defenseless animal from harm! She is not afraid to let anyone know her opinions and is devastated when there are things she can not do anything to help. Today, it was me she defended. She has had problems at school, with a certain set of boys, who have seen the need to continually tease Kaite - about anything from her hair to her grades. She often comes home very upset. She always gets angry, but usually comes home just complaining. Today she came home visibly upset, angry and crying. I have never seen anything like it. Turns out, the boys chose to attack me today. That she couldn't take. They called me fat. And as she puts it, she "freaked". You see, they could pick on her all they wanted, but turning on me was unacceptable. I have never seen her so upset. I hurt for her, but was also so proud of her. I hate that she has to endure this, and she has tried her best to ignore them, but like I said, she has a hard time not voicing what she is thinking - and they feed on that. But I am also so proud of her for standing up to them.
So I guess I can have no fear. No matter what may come, my daughter will be at my side, ready to come to my aid. She has more strength than I can ever imagine possessing.

I'm blogging!

So, here I am. I am blogging. At the insistence of way too many people, I have joined the movement!!
I am not a writer. I am hoping, this will help.

My biggest goal, however, is too keep in touch with friends and family in far flung places, and hopefully share more of our daily lives with them. So, Hi everyone! Here we are.