Ok, so.

I just came across the list I had started that I was going to blog about my New's Years goals...and since it is nearly the end of January - well now seems like a pretty good time to take inventory and see how I am doing!

This is goal number 1 !
What is that you ask?
Pretty much every scrapbook "layout" I have completed in say,
oh, the last two years.
The mini albums get finished and added to a basket in the family room
but these poor guys just get stacked and stacked.
I am not kidding when I tell you that there are two stacks,
literally 14 inches high each.
I kind of froze two years ago in the album organizing area
when I decided to stop scrapping chronologically and went "random" -
a huge shift for this type A.
But it then led to the "well how the heck do I organize the albums then??
So - I thought I would go with a more topical system....
"family", one for each of us, vacations, etc...maybe "home - or holiday" -
as you can see, I still haven't decided....
So my goal this year is to get these into albums - asap.
For one thing, no one is enjoying them right now.
For another, I tend to forget what I have scrapped and what I haven't!
That leads to some repetition perhaps!

Goal #2 - a big one - since I don't have to add "lose weight" to the list this year! YAY!!
I hit goal January 14th - almost exactly one year from when I started!
I am now working on the 5 lb "cushion" the program wants me to maintain....
so my goal this year is to MAINTAIN.
No going back.
Make this a lifetime habit.
There it is out there.
Accountablity.
And I am kicking myself because my vanity
let me keep myself from taking
before and after posed shots.
I think I kept thinking if I did that I was setting myself up for failure.
Silly but hey, that is where the brain goes!

#3 - Take a photo a day.
Well.
Um.
I can pretty much say this one is a bust.
Taken maybe 4 pictures this entire month.
The laundry,
work,
and cleaning bathrooms just
does not lend itself well to a photo a day.
I no longer have small children that I feel the need to document every day....
So I think we can scratch this one off my list.
Maybe I can modify it to a photo a week!?

#4
More giving.
We are incredibly blessed.
Most days I don't think the kids get it.
So my goal is to involve them a bit more in what we give.
I am thinking at the end of each month
we sit down as a family and decide where to send a certain amount of money.
Haiti most certainly will be our choice this month.
Instead of sending money, we decided to give to a local church that
supports an orphanage in Haiti and have been for nearly 10 years.
They have sent a team down already and the VNA is collecting items they need.
So the kids and I are going this weekend to purchase the items on the list,
and I will take them into the office for the bi-weekly pick up by church members.
I feel a bit better knowing exactly where we are helping, and
I think it makes it a bit more real for the kids.
Included in this "giving" I am going to try to find places for all of us to give more of our time.
This may be a bit more challenge. I will have to see how that one goes!

$5
My camera.
I really really really want to jump on the dSLR bandwagon.
I want to do things with my camera that I just can't.
Photography along with wine, and coffee seems to becoming more of a passion to me.
Even though I have an awesome point and shoot.
K is also showing more and more interesting in photography,
and her teacher sought her out the other day
to be sure she was taking the advanced class on next years schedule.
He feels she will be very good at it.
So I would relaly love to have something she can use more as well.
BUT - I don't feel I have utilized my present camera to the best of it's ability.
Before I will allow us to invest, and I use the word invest, because these things dont' come cheap, in a more expensive camera, I want to learn how to use mine more to it's capability.
I am looking into poitn and shoot classes at a local camera shop.
J will of course research the dLSR topic within an inch of it's life
before we do anything but in the meantime, I have put him off until at least Mother's Day/Father's Day - maybe a combo gift.
Until then I will learn to use mine more.
And maybe even decide I don't need a new one!

Totally do able.
I think.
Time will tell.

Apparently......

Apparently, I post silly pictures when I have only taken like four pictures in the month of January...
and these guys make me smile when I see them every morning,
and since every blog post needs a picture, these guys win today!
These we have dubbed "grass dudes", Santa put them in the kids' stockings.
Todays Chia pet I guess.
"Weed heads" got vetoed for obvious reasons.......
the silly faces certainly remind me of the kids though!

Apparently, my blogging has been missed.
I have gotten my sixth or seventh email today wondering if we were ok,
and where have I been.
How sweet!
Why on earth anyone but our family wants to read what I have to say is crazy to me.
I am not snarky, nor do I live on an interesting cattle ranch,
take awesome pictures, post tremendous cooking posts,
live an interesting lifestyle worthy of writing about or
anything else remotely interesting.
Nor do I have a talent for writing and
expressing interesting debatable thoughts on a daily basis.
So the fact that anyone reads this at all.....
So,
cool.
And since it is really for me, well then so be it.

And apparently,
I am not very good at working every day and not getting stressed out.
Hence, no blogging, no pictures.......
I will be the first to admit.
Working part-time keeps me sane.
It is how I deal with my depression.
My alone time.
I need it.
Right now, not getting so much of it.
I am still keeping my foot in two jobs for the time being.....
really enjoying the new one,
but too nice, dumb, gullible, crazy - you pick the adjective - to get out of the first....
besides J is spending money right now like it is coming out of our ears, so me thinks I will hang onto the first for a little while longer......
working for new floors baby!
But things should settle in a week or two.

Apparently,
I only blog when I need to complain....
so I need to change that!

And now for the juicy part...
Apparently...I am not as open minded as I thought I was.
K has decided, I think through the convincing of some friends, to
join an after school group called the Gay-Straight Alliance.
Chess club? Nope.
School play?
Nope.
Watching a friend play sports?
Nope.
School project?
Nope.
"Gay-Straight Alliance Club"
Yup.
You heard me.
(I will now wait while my mother-in-law gets off the floor)
No.
Not because she is gay.
I know all too well, and there are times I wish I didn't know so well
my daughter's sexual orientation,
and it seems to be firmly planted in the opposite sex.
Too much so at times if you ask me.
But anyway....I digress.
So when she asked me one day if she could stay after school to attend GSA.....

I was caught off guard - and darn is she good at that.
Me-"What's that?"
K- "Gay-Straight Alliance Club"
*Pause*
Me- "oh really."
*pause*
Me- "what is that about?"
K- "A club for gay and straight kids to get together and talk about problems and such. I think they do some fundraising and stuff"
Me - "Yeah. I guess so."

My pauses shocked me.
I am open minded. Aren't I? I thought I was!
I know K has some homosexual friends, or so she says anyway,
and even she says "bi" friends
(and for goodness sake I don't think I even knew what "bi" was until I was in college!)
I do not think I judge anyone based on their sexual orientation,
and that is not what drew me to pause.
And I hate myself for even letting the thought cross by mind, but it had to....

"what will everyone else think?"
Yes.
I said it.
That is what I thought.
K has struggled so much socially. Finally has friends.
She is so open and caring and giving.
And sensitive.
I should know she always stands up for the underdog.
So - I should have been proud of her.
And I am - If she is truly there because she has a passion for their rights - I still suspect it is more a social event for her than anything but time will tell.
But my first thought.....
I don't want her be made to stand out again.
Or made fun of.
I am ashamed of myself.
So I am trying to remain open and supportive.
Although I don't think I really have to worry.
Every time I pick her up and ask what the topic was today or etc....
she tells me she doesn't pay much attention.
Reconfirming my suspicion that it is mostly a social event for her
but she is still in it.
So time will tell.
And hopefully soon, I won't care what other people think.
Will she stand at a fundraiser waving a rainbow flag?
I don't know.
How will I feel about it?
I can honestly say I don't know.
If she came to me and told me she was gay I like to think I would be ok with it
as supportive as I imagine myself to be.
I really think it is the idea that other kids think she is homosexual when she isn't
and how that will make her feel that makes me take pause.
Or that someone "hate" her -
cause in high school everyone "hates" or "likes" you, there is no in-between according to my lovely daughter....no matter how hard I try to explain that there is a huge variation of the two in the middle.....
I don't want anyone to hate her because she supports her friends.
And I hate that I shouldn't care, it shouldn't matter but it does.
No parent wants to see their kids hurt.
This learning that I can't protect them from everything is hard.

She must be paying some attention because over the weekend in the car,
I mentioned that something was "gay"meaning weird or stupid - and got my throat jumped down because I used the word inappropriately according to her.
So this led to a good discussion,
about what things meant in my generation compared to now etc.
So I guess now I will have to watch my tongue.

Apparently,
there shall continue to never be a dull moment in my life.
K will make certain of that!

Oh yeah - we had Christmas!

Christmas did come! Finally.
This year it just seemed there was so much commotion and stress and no time but
when I look back at the month in pictures, we did get in the things that matter I suppose.
Cookies.
Treats.
Time together.

This was my gift from K.
She sat down and made each of these frames, then hung them Christmas morning on the wall that faces my desk at home. She did also announce that I seriously need to have more pictures taken of me.
Suppose she had a hard time finding some to use huh!?
I cherish the little note she wrote on the last one - about enjoying the time we spent together and looking forward to more.
:)

They both got an iTouch this year. They were both due for new music players and these are pretty cool. Although it does add a whole new dimension to monitoring internet exposure and amount of time they spend on a screen! We really have seen nothing but the tops of their heads in a week. I did not realize how easily they can access the internet with our neighbors free connection. oh boy. They are having fun with them though.
I love that they were also just as excited to give us our gifts as they were to get their own.

Christmas eve we had dinner here. Something new and it was quite nice. We took the kids out looking at lights after dinner which was also night.

Girls and Gram.
The only one that came out nice.

Sis and I.
Again the only one that came out nice.
The one of us with our grandmother was blurry. Argh.

So a ver ynice time was had by all.
New Year's eve = no pictures.
And I will have my new years post soon.....
took the kids to the Frankin Inst. again the week after Christmas.
Body Worlds = the total geek in me came out! No pics allowed.
Double argh!