Halloween

When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam,May luck be yours on Halloween.
~Author Unknown
Heading out for a much deserved girly weekend right after trick or treating. Promise pictures Monday. Until then, this floats around in my head....

Easily one of my favorite holiday specials.
We snuggled up the other night and watched it again.

Linus and Charlie Brown really are the epitome of faith and hope. Charlie Brown no matter how dorky, teased and out of place he is, he still puts himself out there, still tries. And no matter how many times Linus sits in that pumpkin patch, he still KNOWS that someday the Great Pumpkin would come.
Oh to have that faith. Or would it be innocence? Or stupidity? Naivity?
I prefer faith.

[last lines]
Charlie Brown: I supposed you spent all night in the pumpkin patch.
[Linus nods]
Charlie Brown: And did the Great Pumpkin ever show up?
Linus: Nope.
Charlie Brown: Well, don't take it too hard, Linus. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, too.
Linus: [furious] STUPID? What do you mean "stupid"? Just wait 'til next year, Charlie Brown. You'll see! Next year at this same time, I'll find the perfect pumpkin patch that is really sincere and I'll sit in that pumpkin patch until the Great Pumpkin appears. He'll rise out of that pumpkin patch and he'll fly through the air with his bag of toys. The Great Pumpkin will appear and I'll be waiting for him! I'll be there! I'll be sitting there in that pumpkin patch and I'll see the Great Pumpkin. Just wait and see, Charlie Brown. I'll see the Great Pumpkin. I'll SEE the Great Pumpkin! Just you wait, Charlie Brown. The Great Pumpkin will appear and I'll be waiting for him...
[the screen fades out and the show ends]

*snicker*

Some days.....

Fall goodness

Lots of fall goodness going on around here.
Although the rain put a bit of a damper on our plans for the pumpkin patch.
For the first time in as long as I can remember, we did not go on a hayride to get our pumpkins. We drove 2 miles down the road to the farm stand, picked the biggest we could carry and brought them home. And know what? It was no big deal! No one cared where they came from! Imagine that.

We still made the memories of carving them. I love that the carving has evolved over the years. Carving kits have given us a whole new realm of possibilities of carving.
And I can not believe how easy those little saws cut.

K picked the grim reaper. Cause "it is halloween mom" - no more cute toothless jack-o-lanterns here I guess.

C. an angry cat. There were a few other designs they wanted to do but the detail was just too small to even attempt.

Then - I saw a recipe for apple fritters on the food network the other day and thought, oh that is something the masses would like = apples, dough, deep fried = what's not to love?

C was all about helping me. He cut the apples himself.

I mixed the dough....in my oh so cute mini batter bowl I bought in Tenn. Hand made thrown pottery. Very cool. I love it. And it is perfect for little things like beating an egg or small mixes I want to make....

And guess what?
No one liked them.
I had the unfortunate fortune of getting a rather sour batch of granny smith's which made for a bit of a tang I think turned the kids off. Not sweet enough for J. "too much like apple" for K. I can't win! I FRIED DOUGH ON APPLES and they didn't like them. But know what? I didn't really either! Not much flavor to them really.
So I will keep trying!
Love th fall , am sad I haven't got outside to hike in the leaves, but life goes on. Once the physical *irritants* that are keeping me from going clear up, I am out there baby! I will get to see the spring color!

Another thing...

Another thing that would shock my younger self - if I had it to do all over again, these would be my wedding flowers. Are they not the coolest!? I didn't even have the guts to stand up to the family and get the black and white evening wedding I wanted. There is no way I could ever have been so non-traditional as to have felt wedding flowers... I did buck local tradition enough not to dry and display my wedding bouquet on a shelf in my living room for the next 10 years until it was so dusty and disgusting it had to be thrown away (Forgive me if yours is still on your shelf, I am speaking of me and my preferences) I did stand my ground and get the purple roses I wanted in my bouquet - but they turned out more of a gray than purple and the wedding planner my mom insisted on hiring took it upon herself to make a tradition bouquet rather than the ribbon wrapped stems I wanted. But I am no longer bitter about that. ::grin::

I wish I had had the confidence in my younger self to truly be who I wanted to be, not who everyone expected me to be, or what I thought I was supposed to be. At the time, I think I thought I was being who I wanted to be. But now I am not so sure. I think that is what I love best about aging. That maturity that comes with age, and the ability to say, "yeah ya know what? I don't like that. I like this and you have to deal with it." I look back now, and am finding myself doing that more and more lately, it is becoming unsettling - and I look at younger me and wonder if this or that was what I truly wanted. You can't go back and change, but now I can see how things that were going on in life around me, swayed my choices. I was and still am for the most part a people pleaser. (Although I am getting better at putting me and my immediate family first) If I make them happy they like/notice me. I was always the "good" girl. The dependable one. I often wonder how I would have been different, if possibly I had made some other choices. Would I like who I would be now? I totally believe in things happening for a reason,a nd appreciating who I am being based on what I have been through and experienced, for the most part would never change a single thing that has happened in my life...but every now and then you just have to wonder.

He always makes me chuckle

And also melts my heart.
Well all three living creatures that share my space with me can either melt my heart in a millisecond, or in the next breath drive me crazy!

Some things over heard from the 11 year old in the last two days.
A few days ago, while trying to clean up some water he spilled.
"I wish water glowed in the dark. Then all I would have to do is turn off the lights to see it and clean it up"

This morning after coming out of the bathroom -
"I wish all the floors in our house were trampolines. Then you'd be really jumping out of bed instead of rolling out of bed"

He is also in the process of building a ramp and platform out of some sturdy cardboard that Daddy brought home for him. We are talking he made blue prints and everything. If this boy does not grows up to build things I will be shocked.

Carrie Underwood

Lest I forget - we did make it to the concert. Sorry about the crappy picture....low light, movement = crappy pictures.
Barely. Rush hour traffic at 5 pm on a sunday night? What is up with that??

K deemed this, "The best concert I will ever go to" - I will always have the memory of her first concert, but I told her while I greatly appreciated her sentiment, I was sure that the first concert she went to with a group of friends would quickly move this one down the ladder, but I will enjoy being on top while I can!

The fries also "rawked" -
We had great seats really. The Liacouris Center is a basketball arena so it is small, even on the second level we were low, and right above the stage. We were also in and out of the parking lot in a blink of an eye! Gotta love that!
Let's just say I am used to going to venues that are a bit more, ahem, rowdy....so this was a nice change. Temple does not allow tailgating in their parking lots. I have never gone to a concert without tailgating! It was also so calm and quiet when we walked onto the concourse it took me a minute to be sure we were in the right place! There were only 3 people in the beer line! Let's just say Carrie attracts a much younger fan! It made for a perfect first concert experience for K, and a nice night for me.
Lots of clapping did aggrevate my arm/neck but not for long and my hip survived the stadium seat ok. Now I have been bombarded with "when are we going to another concert?" every day since!
I can still remember my first concert experience -
Pat Benetar - my senior year. Blasting the music all the way to the city. I dont' really remember much of the concert though. How weird is that? Been to see Chicago adn the Beach Boys with J. Billy Joel. Then I have seen a few with some friends without J. He is getting fuddy in his old age. I just love the atmosphere of live music. Just hanging out , having a good time. It's all in the attitude. Sitting in the parking lot to leave? Play music, eat the rest of your tailgate picnic and enjoy the show the other drivers will give you!
So hopefully I will get to go to a few more with K before she deems me too uncool to go, or I can't stand the music!

Hmmmm....

Said good bye to Mr. Wagner yesterday.
I was ok til I saw Mrs. Wagner.....
and until full military honors afterwards - 21 gun salute and taps. Oy.
His son and daughter each spoke - and interesting enough said everything about him that I have said, his dedication to family, love of life, strength, courage, so nice to know , and I already did, but so nice to know that his family also knew who he was and how special he was.....
as I was leaving I realized what made him to special.
Character.
True honest to goodness well deserved respect and a character that I pray my son holds some day.
Character is what seems to be missing in so many in this generation.
His was truly the "greatest generation" -
Dictionary.com defines character as:
char·ac·ter /ˈkærɪktər/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[kar-ik-ter] Pronunciation Key -–noun

1.	the aggregate of features and traits that form the individual nature of some person or thing.

2.	one such feature or trait; characteristic.

3.	moral or ethical quality: a man of fine, honorable character.

4.qualities of honesty, courage, or the like; integrity:
There is nothing that sums him up more.
I only wish I possessed half of his courage, I would have been brave enough to say all the things I have said here, and told him on Thursday when I saw him. I so wanted him to know the impact he had on me, but taking the time to tell him, one would take courage, and two would have meant that I believed I would never get to talk to him again, and I just could not bring myself to do that.
I can also say if I possess have the strength and grace that Mrs Wagner has shown me in the last five years and exemplified yesterday, I would be a much better person.

Interestingly enough this was on the side of my Starbucks cup - I usually drown my sorrows, as well as celebrate in a cup o' jo - that I had afterwards....

"The way we get to live forever is
through memories stored in the
hearts and souls of those whose
lives we touch. That's our soul
print. It's our comfort, our
emotional nurishment at the end
of the day and the end of life.
How wonderful that they are called
up at will and savored randomly.
It seems to me we should spend our
lives in a concious state of
creating these meaningful moments
that live on. Memories matter."
~Leeza Gibbons
Television and radio personality

Our "soul print" is truly, honestly the only thing we really can leave behind.

I am off to write Mrs. Wagner a note so that at least she knows the impact both of them have had on me. Plan on sending to her with a gift from the florist next week. Just to let her know I am still thinking of her.

Chuckle for the day

Today as I wallow in my own self pity as ,my leg continues to hurt and keep from doing things I want to do, and I say good bye to my friend today - this made me chuckle....so it was worthy of sharing.

Heavy Heart

Love this man.
I just visited him Thursday, while I knew things were not looking good, the drs were saying, weeks....not days. He looked great. we chatted about salmon fishing. He of coursed teased me and every nurse that came into the room.
I originally posted about him way back in 2006
You can read about my Perseverence post here
He passed away over the weekend.
He was ready.
The rest of us were not.
My heart is heavy today.
I am grateful his suffering is done.
I am selfish that I will miss his smile, teasing, and stories.
I am heart sick for his fabulous wife of 62 years that is going to be lost without him - the last 5 of those years spent nearly single handedly caring for him.
Fortunately, he lives on in our hearts.
I have no *right* to him. He is not my father, nor my grandfather, not even an uncle. He is a patient that I fell in love with immediately, and became a friend.
He is a testament to life well lived. Dedicated to his family. Strong. Liked a good joke, and a jab. Partied, hunted, served our country proudly - serving as an aide to president Truman!
I miss you.
I will always carry your memory.
Thank you for allowing me to get to know you and your family.

Been creatin'

And it sure feels good.
Been awhile since I could really sit and enjoy the process. I have gotten things done for projects that required my attention, but it was purely out of need not desire. So this week, I worked on a layout and some cards. Sure felt good.
Things with my neck are going well. Darn if those physical therapists don't know what they are doing. ::grin:: If I could reach, I would treat myself. I have started putting J. through the ringer though. ::grin again::: I am still achy now and again but not too bad. Still can't hang clothes, but that will come. Now if only I could get my hip to stop killing me every time I drive in the car, things will be good. Can not be sure that is connected to the accident or not. I have also been doing a lot of research on abnormal "girl-y" issues and the effect stress, poor diet and no exercise can have those symptoms.....hopefully things will slow down now that therapy is winding down and I am feeling better. The running, the appts. and the stress have been crazy. I know one thing, I can not put up with these symptoms.

Seems to be a lot of sadness and worry circling my little group of friends lately - heavy things. Bring down your spirit things. The prayer list is very long. Makes my little problems seem petty. So I found this today on a blog I read. I loved it and had to put it here. Such a *coincidence* that I always seem to find these things when I need them most. ::smile:::
Reinforces my belief in the restorative uplifting power of friends and their support. It makes a huge difference in your circumstance, or at least mine anyway , to know you are not alone - someone else has been there and survived.

“Jacob, where do you find the strength to carry on in life?”

“Life is often heavy only because we attempt to carry it,” said Jacob. “But I do find a strength in the ashes.”

“In the ashes?” asked Mr. Gold.

“Yes,” said Jacob, with a confirmation that seemed to have traveled a great distance.

“You see, Mr. Gold, each of us is alone. Each of us is in the great darkness of our ignorance. And, each of us is on a journey.

“In the process of our journey, we must bend to build a fire for light, and warmth, and food.

“But when our fingers tear at the ground, hoping to find the coals of another’s fire, what we often find is the ashes.

“And, in those ashes, which will not give us light or warmth, there may be sadness, but there is also testimony.

“Because these ashes tell is that somebody else has been in the night, somebody else has bent to build a fire, and somebody else has carried on.

“And that can be enough, sometimes.”

~Noah benShea

That sound you hear....

Is me pulling my hair out as this child continues to push me to my limits.
We have spent countless hours in her biofeedback therapy. Countless amount of money. Teachers.Counselors.Us. Have put time and energy into helping her progress and perform better in school with less anxiety. She has come so far! And was doing so well when school started. No panic attacks, improved focus and retention,feeling much more confident. Doing her homework, getting good grades.
Until, we check parent portal least night and see quite a few incomplete homework assignments in Spanish. WTF? She was given the priviledge of doing her homework in her room because she was doing so well. She does it after dinner with out complaint. There is no incentive to rush through it as there is no tv later in the night, typically, but lately have been lax with that. So she tries to tell me last night it is "just her old bad habits coming out" - the urge to pummel her right then and there was incredible. In this house, there is absolutely no excuse for not doing homework. Period. I have never used the words lazy in regard to my kids before, but right now that is all it is. Somehow from somewhere as surfaced this sudden I don't Care attitude. Then I get this from the sciece teacher today - the one that sent the email a few weeks ago full of praise, that I DARED to allow me to become hopeful that we are on the down slope of this whole ride -
""I’m sorry to report that Kaitlyn has not been doing her homework lately. My grades should be updated on the Community Portal by tonight. Please note that we have a test this Friday in science""
Right now I am so angry I could spit. I am supposed to have a calm rational discussion with her about it when she gets home.
What else can we do? There is nothing else we can do. Our expectations are clear. I can tell you she won't be seeing, let alone using her cell phone for a good long time. She does very little else or has very little other priviledges to be taken away. This totally on her. Her motivation. Her decision. This is the part were what every one else can do for her stops, and she starts.
She is a good kid. With a good heart. Giving. Caring. Fun. Energetic. Why she continues to insist on selling herself short so often is a complete mystery to me.
ARGH!

Menagerie

Menagerie.
Pretty much explains my thoughts today.
Let's start here. This little guy.
Well, not actually *this* one, but a mocking bird....we have lots of them here. They are a pretty nondescript plain looking bird. No bright colors, No interesting markings really. Pretty grey.
Typically, I adore their singing. They mock other bird calls, and change their tune literally every 5 seconds when they are singing - but you know what? They don't have their own song, but the songs they sing are beautiful, and if you get the chance to watch one sing, they do so with such energy. A few of ours here, sit on the roof tops, and I watch them when I hang the laundry or out here in our kusco dogwood outside my office window, and they sing and sing and sing...not just chirp while they jump around, or squawk like a robin, they sing like they have the aria solo in a grand opera. They do so for minutes on end. I love to watch them actually. When you look at them when they are singing, they seem to sing with their whole body. Now, one thing you also have to know about mockingbirds is that they are one of the few birds that will sing in the dark. Which can also make them quite annoying no matter how beautiful their song.
I was just commenting to someone the other day that there really must be some truth to that old Disney term "tritterpated" - when the wise old owl was explaining to Bambi why all the forest creatures were so happily singing and jumping around the forest. In the spring, here, the birds are always up early, singing and singing and singing. But I did notice as summer wears on their morning songs dwindle and we are no longer awoken in the wee hours of the am to grumble curse and shut the window. They get very quiet. As much as I complain in the spring, I start to miss the sound in the summer.
Until this crazy nutso warmed up weather messes with their body clocks and they once again sing early, in the case of one like this one this morning 2:48 AM to be exact, not a good thing when the lady of the house has not slept well for three days (look out there may be a "perimenapause" rant coming in the near future).
But as I always do, try to find a lesson in everything. There is a lesson to learn from the mocking bird. No matter what your song, be it your own, or a song you have heard somewhere, taken to heart, and are just repeating - sing.....sing your all, sing happily...sing out loud, sing proud, sing like you have the starring role. You don't need to be special to have a song that someone may want to hear. Just sing your song. We all have one. All of them are beautiful.

Proud to be from Pa

A little levity..
For my transplanted Pa friends and family, as well as my outta state friends. Every single one of these is true.

PS: a "crick" is a small creek.

For those who think we 'talk funny' or use 'big words', here's why ...

Talking Pennsylvanian (Once a Pennsylvanian, ALWAYS a Pennsylvanian!)

About Pennsylvanians: You've never referred to Philadelphia as anything but 'Philly' and New Jersey has always been 'Jersey.'

We don't go to the beach, we go 'down the shore.'

You refer to Pennsylvania as 'PA' (pronounced Pee-Ay). How many other states do that??

'You guys' (or even 'youze guys', in some places) is a perfectly acceptable reference to a group of men and women.

You know how to respond to the question 'Djeetyet?' (Did you eat yet?)

You learned to pronounce Bryn Mawr, Wilkes-Barre, Schuylkill, the Pocono's, Tamaqua, Kutztown, Tunkahannock, Bala Cynwyd, Duquesne and Monongahela.

And we know Lancaster is pronounced Lank-ister, not Lan-kaster.

You know what a 'Mummer' is, and are disappointed if you can't catch at least highlights of the parade.

You know what 'Punxsutawney Phil' is, and what it means if he sees his shadow.

The first day of buck and the first day of doe season are school holidays.

At least five people on your block have electric 'candles' in all or most of their windows all year long.

You know what a 'State Store' is, and your out-of-state friends find it incredulous that you can't purchase liquor at the mini-mart.

Words like 'hoagie,' 'crick,' 'chipped ham,' 'dippy eggs', 'sticky buns,' 'shoo-fly pie,' 'lemon sponge pie', 'pierogies' and 'pocketbook' actually mean something to you. (By the way, that last one's PA slang for a purse!)

You can eat cold pizza (even for breakfast!) and know others who do the same. Those from NY find this 'barbaric.'

You not only have heard of Birch Beer, but you know it comes in several colors.

You know the difference between a cheese steak and a pizza steak sandwich, and you know that you also can't get a really good one anywhere outside of the Philly area. (Except maybe in Atlantic City on the boardwalk.)

You live for summer, when street and county fairs signal the beginning of funnel cake season.

You know that Blue Ball, Intercourse, Paradise, Climax, Bird-in-Hand, Beaver, Moon, Virginville, Mars, Bethlehem, Hershey, Indiana, Sinking Spring, Jersey
Shore, State College, Washington Crossing, Jim Thorpe, King of Prussia, Wind Gap, and Slippery Rock are all PA towns ... and the first three were consecutive stops on
the old Reading RR! (PS - That's pronounced Redd-ing.)

You know what a township, borough, and commonwealth are.

You can identify drivers from New York, New Jersey, Maryland or other neighboring states by their unique and irritating driving habits … and their front license plates!

A traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a horse-drawn carriage on the highway in Lancaster County. (And remember ... that's Lank-ister!)

You know several people who have hit deer more than once.

You carry jumper cables in your car and your female passengers know how to use them.

Driving is always better in winter because the potholes are filled with snow.

As a kid you built snow forts and leaf piles that were taller than you were.

You know beer doesn't grow in a garden, but you know where to find a beer garden.

You also know someone who lives 'back the lane'.

You actually understand all this and send it on to other Pennsylvanians for former Pennsylvanians!

YEAH! THAT'S GOOD OL' 'PA' AND WE LOVE IT!

From Wicca to Laundry

If ever in a kazillion years I would ever have thought that I would be so passionate or enraged over laundry, I probably would have never done this whole married with kids thing. What have I been reduced to when laundry can consume my thoughts?
Right now my 20 year old me is cringing.
However, to the 40 year old me, this is life and is what it is and I wouldn't have it any other way.
This pile of towels has become a major thorn in my relationship with my daughter.
My daughter with thick curly hair who has taken to often bathing twice a day.
My daughter who has difficulty picking anything up off the floor lest hanging it to dry.
So , two days after I do the laundry and turn around and discover the towel shelf is once again empty, and said towels are laying in various piles all over a certain 14 year old's room in varying stages of mildew - something clicks inside me. I become a beast.
So - I went out and bought daughter and son both their own large body towel, and my darling daughter two "hair towels.
Did my 20 year old self ever in a million years think that she would be standing in the bathroom upstairs giving her kids the "towel talk"? She most certainly would have killed herself then and there. Yes, I have been reduced to lecturing my children on the proper care and use of towels.
Why? Because I am sick and tired of laundering barely used towels simply because they were not hung up to dry.
I would love to sit here and type to you how my intelligent children immediately said, "thank you for the lecture mom. we will of course do as you say and will never ever again make uneccesary laundry for you. " But that is when I wake up from my dream and reality hits. Things did improve for a few days. Right now there are two towels on the floor in K's room and I fished out a wet one that she had shoved back onto the towel shelf this morning. Obviously - I need to go back to the drawing board. Short of stashing the extras, and making her use mildewing stinky towels, there is not much else I can do. S0 that may be the next course of action....and the laundry saga will continue I am sure.

Sorry -

Didn't mean to leave y'all hanging.So before my blog dissolves into an Ode to Towels ~ which I would much rather journal about ~ I have to journal this , so 20 years (hopefully) from now, when K comes to me and says, Mom can you believe my baby girl is doing these things? I can so expertly pull out my blog journal and say, yup ~ here we are, wicca incident of 2008.
Yes, darling, I can believe your baby girl is putting you through all of this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wicca In case you don't know what it is.
Basically, witchcraft.

The book - Wicca for Beginners - found by me. Yup. What bothers me more, BOUGHT while in the presence of her father. *sigh* I will not recount the conversation as he put it, but basically HE asked HER if MOMMY would be ok with it, and when the 14 YEAR OLD assured the ADULT that sure it would be ok with mommy, he said, ok why not. Hellloooooooooo!?!?! HE knows what it is. HE could have ended it right then or there, or redirected the converstation so that we could discuss it later and look into it WITH her. But no, once again, mom is the bad guy. Haven't had much chance to talk to K about it, as she sensed that it was touchy with me, and would not "talk" about it, she wanted an arguement. Got upset when I wouldn't give her an arguement, only rational conversation.

She claims curiosity.
OK - I can see that.
But she also at the age of 14, and faithfully fragile at best, does not need these ideas put into her head by a "How to" book. The ADULT in presence of buying this book could have handled it very differently.
It is our job as her parent, to guide, teach, encourage her curisity but also up front present to her our belief in what is basically not good for her. Period. Had she come to me and said, mom I saw this book and was wondering what it was....I would have sat down with her and the wonderful internet and explored it. But dh did not allow for that. It is now an ISSUE. Making it even worse.

I always assumed, yeah there is that word, raise your kids in a christian home, in church and that path they shall follow. I was not raised christian, WISH I had known my faith and God at 14. But that was not the case. K is fragile at best in her faith. Understandable at her age. Her therapist also discovered a deep anger at God for my mom's death when K was 4. Apprantly she still carries a lot that around. She is very good at blaming God for the bad stuff but not very good at thanking him for the good stuff. I know she didn't get that from me. So we are working through all of that in the mean time. I know I can not make her believe. That is up to her and I certianly pray every day that she can let God's love in, and feel the peace even in the rough times. Lord knows it has gotten me through some pretty rough moments in my life. (one of which being the reent urge to murder my husband!)
And in the meantime I do not need things like Wiccan philosophy muddy-ing the waters any more.

Wheew....

I am here.
What is up?
Fundraising weekend.
Dh draggin' the garden hose through the kitchen yesterday...turn around and go - what the heck are you doing?
Physical therapy
chiropractor.
Work.
Finding Wiccs for Beginners in my dd's bathroom....bought by DADDY! Needless to say we need to talk.
Laundry
Seems like I am living in the car.
Plotting an Ode to towels.
Lots to share.
Be back later.