Way too close to home!

Lookie lookie!

Look what has come to live at our house??
Is it a sad testament to the dowdy old housewife that I have become if these make me insanely happy??
(shhh don't tell J - I whined about not needing them - because frankly, we didn't)
They are so QUIET!!
Although it is funny to walk by and the only sound I can hear is the clothes sloshing and flopping around. Weird.

One reason they make me happy??
See that color on the wall??
The Washer and Dryer FINALLY forced us to paint the laundry room! That is a major woohoo for me!
I picked up the curtains, and need another one, to finally cover the gawd-awful open shelving above the W&D, and when I was at Home Depot (yes, my home away from home) remembered that the color I was trying to match was the same one that we decided not to use in on the front wall in the front room, after we had bought it....and low and behold it matched perfectly! Score one for me!
The trim will be a deep gold and the other walls besides the alcove a sagey- green.
So walking in there and seeing color on the walls and no more fingerprints, and gashes from moving makes me insanely happy!
I love red!

Buying new before the others were completely gone goes against every grain of my being. But one thing I have had to come to accept about my dh is that it does not bother him.
Although another reason these make me insanely happy, is that we rarely rarely rarely ever buy anything new. Our current washer and dryer have been with us since our first house 18 years ago.
J has been itching to get new HE W&D for months now. And one thing he can very well be made infamous for, is his ability and endurance for finding good deals and sales.
These he has been researching style, quality, reading complaint posts, and finding sales for at least 8 months.
He got us these, basically two for the price of one, and same as cash until we get our tax check. Otherwise we never would have charged them. But because of his diligence, and bickering ability, and comparison shopping with his Excel sheets (yes, I said Excel sheets ~ and the sales girl at Sears was pretty impressed - oh yeah and I am supposed to announce that no one is to ever shop at Sears again....apparently price matching is not as advertised)
So while I was still unsure about replacing with new before the others had died, I couldn't argue.
There are some days I laugh and think J's worst nightmare would be one of our major appliances dying and his needing to replace it without months of research and bargain shopping.
And I tease him but this little quirk about him does allow us to have nicer things then we ever normally would.
So thanks honey!

Comparatively speaking......

Trying to force myself to finish this layout!
Started it two weeks ago....
A challenge was posted on a message board I surf....
Compare/contrast two things...
The first thing that came to mind was these two.....
so I managed to finish the details of the layout.....
but have yet to sit and make the lists...
so if I put it here, maybe I will be forced to do it,
these two are as different as night and day,
yet similar in many ways.....
Maybe some of you can help me out.....

He......
*has blue eyes
*quiet and reserved just like his Dad
*easy going
*sometimes I can forget he is even in the house
*loves his bike right now
*loves chicken fingers
*very kind and generous
*very protective and sweet with younger kids
*My "did you ever wonder...." kid, always wants to know more
*reminds me it is okay to get dirty
*MAKES MY HEART MELT WITH ONE LOOK

She......
*has brown eyes
*outgoing and gregarious yet anxious and shy at times
*likes to be in charge
*always makes her presence known
*loves tennis and not much other physical activity
*loves macaroni and cheese
*very kind and generous
*very sensitive to other people's feelings
*always on the side of the underdog
*not overly curious about much - takes most things at face value
*can drive me crazy in a heart beat
*MAKES MY HEART MELT WITH ONE LOOK

Sooo..........

"'Aging is not 'lost youth' but a new stage of opportunity and strength"

~Betty Friedan~

Photos by J. which explains the expression on my face! Took all my courage to pose for these.

Not only has it been weeks since I last blogged, I went and had another birthday!
This year I am really trying to take this quote to heart. Trying to enjoy the opportunities that this stage in my life afford me. "new stage of opportunity and strength."
I have admitted over and over that I am not handling growing older or watching my kids mature, at all gracefully. I have essentially been lead kicking and screaming.
Strength.
I have lacked it.
I feel stronger now than ever.
I have the strength to finally admit and expect what "I" need.
And that feels terrific.

"If we spent as much time feeling positive about getting older, as we do trying to stay young, how much different our lives would be." ~ Rob Brown

So, I am also trying very hard to internalize and live this quote a bit more.
Aging is not a priviledge given to everyone.
I am trying hard to embrace it, and love me the way I am.

I really sat down yesterday and forced myself to consider the last year. How far I have some, considering last year, I had just had my accident, was in a lot of pain, was over 60lbs overweight and honestly not very happy with myself.
In January, I made a decision, that it was time to make myself happy. No more sitting around waiting for someone else to do it.
I took my health, physical and mental, into my own hands, and made some changes.
In transforming, and returning to more of an attitude of gratitude, putting myself first again, I made some pretty dramatic changes.

I don't want myself to ever forget how it felt today to put on these jeans.
Come out of the dressing room, repeating, oh my god oh my god I am actually wearing a size 10!! Over and over.
The transformation over the last nine months, mentally and physically still surprise me sometime.
I am happy in the ways that matter right now.
I haven't felt this way in a long time.
I have a few more pounds to go, but can allow my self to relish the fact that I am not longer "obese" but "slightly overweight" according to my BMI.
I feel healthier now than I have in a very long time. Even the last time I was this thin, 6 or so years ago, I did not feel this well mentally.

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."

~Douglas Adams~


So no matter where the road leads me in the next year, I pray I can maintain this mental attitude , embrace the opportunities that my growing older affords me and embrace it all with a smile and new attitude.
I may have to put this picture on the frig, not only to remind myself of the size, but how honestly truly happy and content this person is right here, right now.
And she now has the strength and confidence to admit it.
I am ALLOWED to feel this way and be proud of it.
Wow.

Can you believe....

This is the only photo I have taken since the first day of school.
There are so many things that go through my mind every day,a nd I think,
oh I have to go write that down....
and don't.
Busy busy busy....
So here is the gang of outlaws....
they must be on the run...
when they come back to town,
I am sure the grown one will write something about it!

Do not my son and his daddy make pretty mean cowboys!
They took their part very seriously!
I think I need to get J. a cowboy hat and oil cloth coat, I like the look.

It happened again....

It happens every year.
Most years I dread it.
This year I thought I was ready.
Turns out, I was not.

Labeling folders and getting ready last night.
After an exhausting night rushing around at the Jr High for yet another orientation.

Highlighting her classrooms on the school map.
After she sat down and did this , at my suggestion, she felt much better and announced that she would be fine! I pray.

This guy actually got up without any trouble this morning. I was shocked and will take bets on how long it lasts. 6 am came REAL early this morning...

Miss "Yeah I am cool, it's all cool. I am not nervous".....

When did they get so tall??
Grown up?

I thought I was ready.
This was after all the "summer that wasn't" Very stressful for me.
Filled with nothing for all of us.
So I was ready for routine, school, normalcy.
Then why is there a lump in my throat just looking at this?
As weird as the summer was, I still love having them here.
Where they belong.
With me.
Forever.
(Yes I can try to deny it for as long as i want thankyouverymuch!....teeheee)

This gal pretty much sums up how we were both feeling this morning.
I don't even remember what it was I wanted to do on those frustrating mornings....
although I am watching GMA for the first time in months!

If they knew I took this picture they would KILL me.
Someone might see you mom!!
God forbid someone knows mom loves me and will miss me.

So it begins. Another school year.
Jr hi. Sr Hi.
All in one year.
We do it all the way!
No more elementary school.
No more school parties and cupcakes.
No more Secret reader days.
No more classroom helper.

This is going to take some getting used to,
but as I told K about highschool last night,
"Many have gone before you and lived to tell the tale!"

Already can't wait to see them later today.