If this is "fat"

If this is fat.....
Then I'd kill to be that "fat"
Other than her poor choice in high-waisted unflattering jeans,{What is with those pockets? } there is absolutely nothing wrong with Jessica Simpson. Heaven forbid she is not an emaciated waif wearing Daisy Duke shorts....

Quoted from an E Entertainment article...

"People magazine editor Galina Espinoza and plus-size model Emme sat down with Natalie Morales on TODAY Thursday to shine a light on the disturbing trend that finds otherwise healthy celebrities derided and ridiculed simply for putting a few pounds on.

“Jessica Simpson is becoming part of this trend we call body-bullying,” Espinoza told Morales. “People are cruelly mocking her, making her feel like there is something wrong with her just because she has a slightly fuller figure. It’s something that’s going on increasingly in Hollywood.”

'Scuse me, Emme? This is nothing new! Did you not go to Jr high? I am not sure anyone ever commented on Emme's weight because she has always presented herself as a plus size...I would bet a hundred dollars if she slimmed down, she would get all sorts of press, then heaven forbid she gain again, she would be the subject of the same ridicule. I would love to be half as confident on my plus size body as Emme is in hers. What is the difference in her ability to love herself and most of the rest of societies inability to love theirs? Wish I had that answer.

And we sit and wonder why our adolescent girls have no self-esteem. While I sit and listen to the girls in K's empowerment class, sit and list the reasons why they feel stared upon when they enter a room - "they'll think I am fat", "They think I am ugly", "I am not good enough" ,"they'll think I am weird" - all said last night - it breaks my heart.

These girls, and all of us from toddler on, are exposed constantly to the public picking apart if you will, of anyone who dares to be the slightest bit different than anyone else. Unfortunately, it will never stop. Human nature. And not even just "the price of fame" - all be it cruel and public when it happens to a celebrity, the same thing goes on in our elementary and high schools around the country. I tried desperately to boost K's self esteem in when she was teased and set apart because of her social awkwardness and ADD - my voice was small compared to "everyone" - in her mind- at school, teachers included. My heart breaks to think about the baggae she still carries from those years. I still as a 40 year old adult carry those little voices in my head every day. I personally judge myself by my weight....as much as I try, I can't stop it. That voice.

The women teaching K's empowerment class are teaching the girls to recognize those voices, (harder than it sounds, most of the time you don't even realize what you are thinking), let those voices know they hear them, then they will work on telling them to shut up they are wrong. I am thinking I need to take that lesson too. They are also teaching them positive imagery, something I think we all need to practice as well...mentally picturing yourself acing something you want to do - turning heads in a room, singing, anything.....

I am so glad I "encouraged" although she will say "forced" her to take this class. It is not an over night answer to her problems, but as her teachers say, the seeds will be planted and hopefully give the girls some tools to use to beat down those voices and become the best that can be no matter what.

I wish someone had told me at 14, half the things these women are teaching these girls.

*~*Happy Weekend*~*

That is all for today!

Snow day

Finally - just enough ice covered mess to try to "sled" or in our case "saucer" - Even me, after months of feeling like crap, felt good enough to give it a try today - thank the lord! Felt so good to actually feel good, no hip/leg pain, no girly issues...I can not tell you the relief...I am sure the heating pad may be my friend later, but for now, we had a bit of fun!

Me trying not to criticize my doublechinnednomakeupdrizzledonehairsnowday glory!

Ice angel

Just an angel

And one fourteen year old being terribly annoying. Need I say more?

This is why......

I try very very hard not to take a moment of my children's lives for granted.
Some days it is not easy.
As parents, we get frustrated, impatient, angry, tired and just plain fed up.
The guilt of plopping in a chair at night and just wishing for some time away alone.
The constant wondering if you are doing the best you can....could you do more? Could you spend more time? Should you talk to them more? Less? Play more? less? Teach them something you are not?
It gets stressful, and I don't think there isn't a parent, well I feel in particular a mom, out there who has not at one point just wished for time alone, or *gasp* wondered what life may have been like had you never taken this road in life. Teh guilt of that used to rack me. Until I gave myself permission to feel it and get passed it. I had to learn that just because I met my wits end one day and had that thought does not mean I wish it to come true.
Like I said, I try very very hard not to wish away my children's childhood...for one thing I realize that every time I say, "It will be better when..."..that stage holds it's own challenges.......but mostly because I spend time reading blogs of babies just hanging on, or families who have lost children. And if they can keep their faith and thank God for wherever they are at, I think I can. It is a nice reminder, that the stress I deal with and have dealt with with my two and the issues, is nothing compared to seeing your child physically suffer, or heaven forbid leave this earth.
Any one who has read along with me for the last year knows I have been following and praying for a little boy born, yes I said BORN - as in not one day of his life lived without it, leukemia. His family has been told more than once, there is no more hope. Last Christmas I held my breath while he literally clung to life by a thread. He and his parents were sent home this summer, being told once again , there is no more to be done. Enjoy him. It won't be long.
His dad wouldn't have it. Researched, I am thinking literally for hours and deep into the night, alternative treatments for his boy. Fighting to save his son's life. {The time and stress I spent researching K's alternative treatment therapies seems nothing in comparison, but on a much smaller scale I was doing the same thing, thumbing my nose a traditional health care and searching for the answers for my child. No that I am comparing what we dealt with to what he is dealing with but I can say I have had a glimpse}
I literally gasped outloud when I read this post...please go there and see for yourself....

Re-miss-ion people!
My throat closes every time I see it.

My only wish is that I deal with the every day stress as well as the additional stress that we come across with the kids, with a more grateful heart on a daily basis. I am extremely grateful for my life, but have a tendacy to get stressed by the small stuff - the stuff that comes up everyday. I tend to lose the big picture. Well Jaymun just reminded what the big picture is.....
I try to ask myself - will this really honestly matter a year from now?

As promised

It's C's turn..
God, I can not wrap my brain around the fact that he will be 12 in March.
I don't have as many of him..
This one was taken on his first birthday, and yes, that is my mom. Not many pictures of her with the kids. This is about 6 months before she was gone. I think literally weeks before her last relapse. She and my dad were the ones to continue to call him Critter. No one does now.

My pudge , about 3 or 4 months..

9 months with the requisite bump on the forehead. He was usually sporting one there.

About 2 1/2 here I think. I believe this was the summer before K started kindergarten.

First vacation. 6 months old. He was usually asleep in the tent a few moments after we went down to the beach.

Just for the heck of it...

Christening. That was the gown I wore, that was big on me and I was three months old when I was baptized. Preemie I was! She filled it out quite nicely.

First Easter , my mom made that dress. It was a gorgeous eyelet.

My absolute favorite photo of her. About 3 or 4 months I believe

Big sister - 2 1/2 years old

Six months I believe, and I still have that comforter. HAve had it sine 1986 when I went to college. It is the softest thing ever!

Three months and full of giggles

And since I am still thoughtless when it comes to writing here this week. Too much else going on with my body and brain. I thought I would share some pictures I have been coming across when searching my picture folder....these are all scanned as of course 14 years ago there were no *real* digital cameras. These are just a smattering of the pictures I could post of my now 14 year old daughter. Reminds me that she was not always difficult, opinionated and moody - well moody yes, but she couldn't voice her own opinions at 1! Think I'll showcase C tomorrow!

Just January

I have discovered January is a very quite month for us. Minimal picture taking. Not much going on. So that makes for pretty boring blogging. I am forming and menopause/aging post in my head for awhile , may try to post that this weekend...otherwise, still not much to share!
The pinata from hell is finally done and hanging at school. After a huge teenage melt down Monday night about it not getting done, it turned out well. K even said the teacher pulled this one out to say she loved it and it was a prefect example of a good pinata. :)
A bit of snow again, gave C and the zoey the chance to go out and play. Zoey loves to chase and jump to catch snowballs that C throws. Wonder why she is limping on her bad knee right now. See how high she gets!
I could resist a photo of my welcome sign and garden fence in their snow covered beauty.
And finally J had a birthday again this month. 43. We made a 4 and a 3 out of candles on the cake.
I have spent way too much time in the gyn's office lately and am congering up a post in my mind of gyn. waiting rooms as a young mom vs this perimenapause women. But it is going to have to wait. :)

I got....

Nothin'.
Sorry.
Not a thing to say.
How could that be , you ask?
I have no idea.

But I am sure I shall return tomorrow with something to blather on and on about.
Never fear.

I have some video C taped but I can't get it to load. Have to go to work now, so I will try later.....

This one cracks me up. This is "bear bear" C's fav bear, I guess he had to get into the action too!

Quote of the day

Just cause I want to remember it....a quote I saw on one of my other blogs I read....

"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass...it's about learning to dance in the rain." ~ unknown

The hardest lesson for any of us to learn.....

Magazine-itis

It is an addiction really, I guess more than an "itis" which means inflammation in the medical world...but I digress.....these are just a small sampling of my recent magazine collection. I can not help it, these things just call out to me.
In addition to my regular scrapping magazines that I love , I can not help picking up anything else that holds the promise of some tidbit of information I may otherwise be lacking!
30 quick and easy dinners! Shrink my belly in two weeks! Get healthy! Easy strength training!
I am really a sucker for mostly the cooking, decorating and home improvement type mags. I have always been a trivia hound. Love tidbits of information. Magazines are also a great way for a mom who can't sit for more than a few minutes to actually finish an entire article in that short time.
But I have promised myself, it has to stop. I subscribed to a few of my favs for a ridiculously cheap rate, most less than a $1 an issue, and the challenge for me is to stop buying them at the store!
I know most of the headlines prove to be disappointing once I read the article, but still I buy. Although I have learned some very important things too.
So we will see as the year goes on, how good I am at limiting myself from my glossy paged addiction. There is a small fortune in those piles that will now head to the recycle bin. Not money well spent at all.

Thankful Thursday

My Thankful Days by Deborah L. Carter

This morning, Sam missed the bus, and I stubbed my toe on a skateboard laying near the stairs Maggie's hair needing braiding, the sink was full of dirty dishes, and Katie's car was parked behind mine again. I backed into the garbage can, scattered garbage into the street, and had to dig through the glove box to find lunch money. No parking spaces nearby, had to walk clear across the school parking lot hot and sweaty, forgot to comb my hair and the principal called me ma'am. Back at home, piles of dirty laundry, and my mother called, (while I was up on a ladder washing those horribly huge windows,) just wanted to talk. This afternoon, Peter interrupted me no less than five times while I was trying to write. Mom? Did you wash my blue shirt? Our neighbor Cindy is here, Tessie's on the telephone, Something about a party tomorrow? The lawn is covered with bicycles, scooters, baseball bats; Why does every child in the neighborhood flock to my front step, just as I'm hoping to take a quick nap? The phone rang off the hook while I was trying to cook dinner and I burnt the roast, and ruined the gravy. I finally got the kids tucked in an hour past their usual bedtime but the dog didn't want to go out, and Katie forgot to feed the cats, even though I asked her twice, so I did that before I turned out all the lights. Can't anybody turn off a light around here? And then when I finally fell into bed, my husband was watching football on the TV. He knows I can't stand football. Nothing left to do, but say my prayers and end another day; Dear God, Thank-you for busy mornings, noisy children, scattered toys, missed school buses, beloved pets, and the smell of fresh, shiny, young hair as I comb it. Thank-you for another day to walk in the sun and for blessing me with two strong arms to clean my glorious wall of windows, while gazing at the sparrows building their nest in the trees nearby. And for the stacks of dirty dishes, that reminds me of the plentiful food that satisfies my family's hungry bellies. Thank you for doorbells, phone calls from mom and constant interruptions by my teen-age son, who still wants to talk to me. Thank you for the laughter of children at play, drifting like music, from the large front yard. And for another evening, to linger over a one last bedtime story and hear soft whispers of "I love you", as tiny hands stroke my cheek, tired and content. Thank-you for the chance to walk through brightly lit rooms at the end of the night, and reflect on the joy and comfort that each one holds inside. And for my darling husband, the football fanatic, who always fills my car with gas, never complains when I eat potato chips in bed, and still gazes at me with adoring eyes that say "You're still the one, always and forever".

***

Obviously not anything I wrote...but a nice reminder for what I am going to start to call Thankful Thursday in my efforts this year to be more grateful in my every day life, for the little things. And since today is my hubby's birthday I thought I would be grateful for five things about him...

1. He nearly always cleans up the dinner dishes for me after I cook

2. He changes the oil in my car.

3. He takes the kids to flea markets and Zern's so I don't have to!

4. He is a hard worker who puts providing for us on the top of his list.

5. He loves me warts and all!

Prom Challenge

Marlene issued a challenge on her blog to see who would have the nerve to post their prom picture on their blog. So I scrambled to find the picture and here it is in all it's 1986 glory.
I look at these two kids.
And what goes through my mind?
So many things.....
Pull up that dress! is one of them. A girl with barely size A breasts should not have chosen a strapless dress. You can't see it but the upside down ruffle at the top matches all of the layers of ruffles on the skirt. I had a piece of matchign ribbon in my hair and pearls around my neck. Man, I thought I was the epitome of prom fashion right there! Oh if I had it to do over....but that is half the fun of looking back right?
The next thoughts that go through my head... Man, I am no longer a size 5, and J doesn't have that much hair anymore!
I am not sure I have seen him smile like that in a long time.
But what I also see, is a young love, that in my own opinion has stood the test of time as I look back now.
We barely knew each other a month here. There is a reason my grandmother called J. my Prince for a long time. I had gone out with her and bought this dress, and was all excited since I never even imagined I would ever be asked to the prom. Unfortunately, we will use the word idiot here, but feel free to insert your own derogatory name for a boy that would do this....the idiot I was dating at the time, broke it off right before the prom, and had the nerve to say he wasn't even going, and wound up being there. What kid does that? Anyway. I digress.
Really literally like two weeks later I meet J. We had been attending the same under 21 dance club every sunday night for months, and had never met til that night. I have no idea how we didn't because the place was the size of our living room. But we hadn't met until that night in April. I immediately fall head over heels for him, and after only one "real" date and hours of talking on the phone, I ask him to take me to the prom, which he promptly said yes, and admits now he has no idea what he needed to do. He did not go to his own prom 2 years earlier. Rented a tux, bought some flowers, and as my grandmother would put it, he rode in on his white horse, swept me off my feet and took me to the prom. My dad lent us the car since J. was driving an old Datsun pick up with holes in the floor on the passenger side and a different color tailgate covered in bumper stickers. He also had an 8track tape player which was outdated even in 1986....I often tell him he is lucy I was not a materialistic gal!
I can honestly say he sealed the deal that night. We had a great time. Better than I ever would have had with Idiot. J. sang You Are the Inspiration by Chicago to me in the middle of the dance floor that night. While I acted mortified on the outside, I was swooning on the inside. I also swooned 5 years later when he did the same again at our wedding. Wonder how many of the *cool* girls that gave us the hairy eyeball when he did that that night, are still happily married to their prom date? Ha!
And here we are 23 years later from that picture! Twenty three!!! Is that at all possible? had I ever imagined at the time that I would one day be saying "23 years ago..." Wow.
So thanks Marlene for the little trip down memory lane!

Nothing more to say.......

.....Other than that this goes into the "What the H___ Is Wrong With People?" Catagory........

Luke AFB is west of Phoenix and is rapidly being surrounded by civilization that complain about the noise from the base and its planes, forgetting that it was there long before they were.{{Ed - this happens with us here when the city folk come out here to live and complain about the smell of the farms and try to get the farmers to change the way they have been farming for 100 generations because it smells and there are flies on their screens} A certain lieutenant colonel at Luke AFB deserves a big pat on the back. Apparently, an individual who lives somewhere near Luke AFB wrote the local paper complaining about a group of F-16s that disturbed his/her day at the mall.

When that individual read the response from a Luke AFB officer, it must Have stung quite a bit..

The complaint:
'Question of the day for Luke Air Force Base:

Whom do we thank for the morning air show? Last Wednesday, at precisely 9:11 A.M, a tight formation of four F-16 jets made a low pass over Arrowhead Mall, continuing west over Bell Road at approximately 500 feet. Imagine our good fortune! Do the Tom Cruise-wannabes feel we need this wake-up call, or were they trying to impress the cashiers at Mervyns early bird special?
{{Ed. - First of all - you were at the freakin' mall, not in bed and what the heck could you have been doing that was so important that the 3 seconds it took these planes to fly by was that much of an inconvenience to you!? Then to be irritated enough to actually write to someone about it? I believe some needs to get a life!}}
Any response would be appreciated.

The response:

Regarding 'A wake-up call from Luke's jets' On June 15, at precisely 9:12 a.m., a perfectly timed four- ship fly by of F-16s from the 63rd Fighter Squadron at Luke Air Force Base flew over the grave of Capt. Jeremy Fresques. Capt Fresques was an Air Force officer who was previously stationed at Luke Air Force Base and was killed in Iraq on May 30, Memorial Day.

At 9 a.m. on June 15, his family and friends gathered at Sunland Memorial Park in Sun City to mourn the loss of a husband, son and friend. Based on the letter writer's recount of the fly by, and because of the jet noise, I'm sure you didn't hear the 21-gun salute, the playing of taps, or my words to the widow and parents of Capt. Fresques as I gave them their son's flag on behalf of the President of the United States and all those veterans and servicemen and women who understand the sacrifices they have endured..

A four-ship fly by is a display of respect the Air Force gives to those who give their lives in defense of freedom. We are professional aviators and take our jobs seriously, and on June 15 what the letter writer witnessed was four officers lining up to pay their ultimate respects.

The letter writer asks, 'Whom do we thank for the morning air show? The 56th Fighter Wing will make the call for you, and forward your thanks to the widow and parents of Capt Fresques, and thank them for you, for i t was in their honor that my pilots flew the most honorable formation of their lives.

Only 2 defining forces have ever offered to die for you.....Jesus Christ and the American Soldier.
One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Lt. Col. Grant L. Rosensteel, Jr.

USAF


I want kiss this man if I would ever get the chance to meet him, and really just send a message out to some people that just need to get their heads out of the rear ends and realize other things might be happening in this world besides their little trips to the mall. The egotistical-how-dare-you-intrude-on-my-life attitudes of some many in this world is really getting disgusting. We encounter rudeness in public so often, politeness is met with surprise. There is just something wrong with that.
I did check this out and Capt. Jeremy Fresques was killed in Iraq may 30,2005. Like I have said before, I have the opportunity in my job to meet and talk to many veterans of our wars, WW2 inparticular, and those men carry that honor proudly and still to this day consider themselves part of a brotherhood that never ends, and the honor of honoring one of their own comes only second to the honor it was to serve their country and protect our freedom. Any disrespect for this just disgusts me (and that is not easy to do!)

Gratitude IV

Oh no! It's snow beard!

The stupidest dog in the world. God love her. I opened the window to take pictures. J was on the couch and started calling her. She could not figure out how to get to him. Drove her nuts!

How the girls decided to spend a snowy afternoon. They "Played in the snow" around the hot tub while they sat there. Oy.
These little monkeys and the time I spend with them is certainly a much better investment than anything I could buy with the extra money I would make working more. being home to greet them every afternoon, will affect them for a lifetime. THAT matters.

Here is the final installment in Rick Warren's Gratitude email.

4. Focus on things with eternal value. The real secret to becoming content is to focus on the things that have eternal value. It may be a familiar teaching to you, but Jesus said we should store up our treasures in heaven, and not on earth “where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal” (Matthew 6:19-21 NIV).

Think about the things in your life: What will last forever? What will last at least for your lifetime? What will last a few short years, or months, or days? Based on eternal value, what things are most important in your life? Where – and with whom – should you put your most time and energy?

By re-organizing your life around eternal priorities, you’ll find yourself growing in contentment as you live according to God’s design and purpose.

© 2008 Purpose Driven Life. All rights reserved. Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., one of America's largest and best-known churches.

Acceptance

We have a lot to learn from the animal world. As the narrator says, and I paraphrase...if they can do it, what is our excuse?

Gratitude III

Continuing my gratitude posts...

"3. Give yourself to others. If you will begin giving yourself to others, sharing what things you do have, sharing your time and your talents, you will find yourself learning to be content. Helping others will give you an appreciation for what you have and who you are, but more importantly, you will find yourself growing content. Why? Because God designed us to serve and share with others, and until we do that, we will feel great discontent."

I know sometimes I groan when I remember I promised to do this or that, cause when the time comes the energy is just not there, but I try to focus on how i feel when I am done. Usually refreshed, and more relaxed. We really have not been doing as much volunteering as we used to, and I plan to try to remedy that in this new.

#4 Tomorrow!

Gratitude cont......

"2. Be grateful for who you are and what you have. Learning to be content requires that you stop any “when and then” thinking – “When I am ___________, then I’ll be happy.” (You fill in the blank.)

The reason we fall into this trap is that we may actually be content for a little while but it won’t last. But, more than likely, someone else or something else will come along and drain the contentment from your life.

But listen, you are unique. God created you to be like nobody else, so why would you want to be anyone else. God is perfect, and you were his perfect choice to be you. Understanding that is a huge step toward being content with your life.

And then look at all the things God has given you. So often we allow what we don’t have to so dominate our focus that we forget the many wonderful things we already have, not only material blessing, but far more important things, such as family and friends." ~ Rick Warren

I so want my daughter to learn this. Do you know how many times I have said, "when I..." - and usually it is "lose 20 lbs" - "I'll feel better about myself" - "I'll get some clothes that fit" - "I'll be so much happier" . Even as young parents, I can remember saying, "oh when they get bigger..their sleeping through the night...get more independent.... it will get so much easier" - HA! Or your house? We leave the frustration of the things that maybe made us want to sell our first home, and encounter different ones in the new house. "When we get in the new house...." If I can keep my children, particularly K cause I think it may be more a female thing, from spending a lifetime in that state of mind, I will be successful. I think one of the greatest challenges in life is learning to be grateful WHERE WE ARE AT THE MOMENT. I am not saying you should not want more, or desire change, and sit down and play dead just because you are supposed to be grateful with what you have. You just can't live in a constant dissatisfied state. No wonder half the US is miserable most of the time.Sometimes I think God gives us challenges to teach us patience and gratitude before he lets us have more. And yes, that means being grateful for the challenges too. If you can't afford a new houes, it does no good to sit and huff adn puff about it every day all day....as one friend of mine once said, People need to stop looking over the fence all the time, and turn around and pull the weeds in their own yard. So, if you are unhappy, make what small changes you can to help. Sure you may not get that new house, but painting the one you have may make it better! It is all in the state of mind.

Like I am so grateful that is was just purple (and she hates that they turned out more pink) highlights that she wanted and not a piercing. Although I think she knows better than to even ask. Raising a teenager is sometimes a trick in finding a balance in what they want and what is allowable. It is just hair color, it will grow/wash out...and life will go on.

Gratitude II

Since one of my new approaches to the new year is to be outwardly grateful more on a daily basis, I love that this came in my email today......a huge part of gratitude is learning to be content with what you have. Such a huge part of our society spends a lot of time telling us what we *should* want - bigger house, fancier cars, better job, more money, skinny butt - most unrealistically unattainable for most folks. So over the next few days I am going to share each of the four lessons.....if there is one thing that I have learned in my more mature years is that things are rarely as they seem in most *perfect* people's world. Lessons in Contentment by Rick Warren I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. Philippians 4:11 (NIV) *** *** *** *** Here are four steps to develop contentment in your life. 1. Stop comparing yourself to others. When you compare your life with someone else’s, the only place it can lead is toward discontentment. There will always be people who appear to be better off than you, but you don’t know their real circumstances. I recall counseling a husband many years ago, and he said he wished his wife could be more like so-and-so, and he named a woman in our congregation. What he didn’t know is that the woman was a functioning alcoholic causing incredible heartache and stress for her family and for her husband. That’s why the Bible teaches it is unwise to compare (2 Corinthians 10:12). Rick Warren is the founding pastor of Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, Calif., one of America's largest and best-known churches. In addition, Rick is author of the New York Times bestseller The Purpose Driven Life and The Purpose Driven Church, which was named one of the 100 Christian books that changed the 20th Century. He is also founder of Pastors.com, a global Internet community for ministers

If Oprah can.....

I figure if Oprah can do it, I can too.
Admit -t hat yes, I am still talking about my weight.
So much of what she said on her show yesterday and wrote in her article, I could have written.
Sad. I know.
It is frustrating. Totally. You would think with all the other things in my life that are out of my control, my weight could be one thing that I could control.
I lost 60 lbs nearly 5 years ago now. Kept it off for I think about 2 years, then slowly, then not so slowly it has crept back. I have lost the same 25 lbs I think 3 times over the last three years.

For me it is not a New Year's rsolution - it is a "getting back on track" I was losing last summer, quite nicely thank you - until I allowed myself to indulge on vacation, and then three days after we got back the car accident happened.
OK - add pain and inability to physically do much to the fact that I am an emotional stress eater, and you do not get a good combination.
It is not pretty.
I am finally feeling better and slowly starting to be braver about pushing myself a little and knowing how to deal with what discomfort I do get...so it is time.
Time to get back on the wagon.
So might as well do it with Oprah.
I am trying to decide to go back to Weight Watchers, or do it online, or just suck it up and know that I know what to do and do it on my own.
My problem is accountability. Apparently, being accountable to myself is not enough for me. I need to know that I paid someone good money to tell me what I weight each week to motivate me to stick to it.
There is an extensive history of heart disease in the men and women on my father's side of the family, and cancer on my mom's as well as high blood pressure. You think that would be enough motivation. I am a physical therapist for goodness sake who tells people to exercise every day! You think that would be enough motivation. It's not. I used to be SO active. I still can't sit but for some reason lately it isn't enough. You would think that the anxiety attack I nearly had at the thought of going to C's school before Christmas and being seen by some of the other mother's would be enough to motivate me.
So I am hoping this will motivate me...

I think I have posted it before..this is skinny me....at my ideal weight (well my comfortable weight. The weight that the charts tell me I should be makes me way too thin and impossible to maintain - discovered that 5 years ago - apparently I am "dense" - snicker)
I want to feel good again. Mentally and physically.
So - here goes.
I put it out there. In cyber space. Maybe in a few years when I go back over the posts, I will be celebrating the victory I started today - or maybe not. Can't think that far ahead. So for now it is just lunch to worry about, then dinner.....

Offical First Day

As J has decided, the first "real" day of the new year was first day back to school/work. Back to reality today ( and every time I say that I think of that song, "back to life, back to reality" I am terrible with lyrics and who sings what so I have no idea what it is from) ~ back to making appts and phone calls...blah blah....I worked through the holidays, so to me no big deal. J wouldn't even start his resolution to eat healthier until today because "there is no reason to start right before the weekend when we will eat bad anyway" - now there's resolution for you! :::grin:::
I don't do "real" resolutions any more but this year I did decide I wanted to be more grateful in the every day, so I want to post at least once a week a gratitude post. So here goes....

1. I am grateful to be working even though it means not having two weeks off with J and the kids.
2. This morning I was extremely grateful for Starbucks coffee and the wonderful person who ever decided to roast those beans and drink that dark black liquid!
3. Grateful for Hershey's Caramel chocolate creamer for my coffee, double yum.
4. Grateful that God decided my children should not be run of the mill kids. Certainly keeps my life interesting.
5. Grateful for a full eventful 2008 - and still being here to enjoy 2009.

Happy New Year

Happy 2009!
We celebrated at my sister's this year and could not have had a better time!
This is C and his super duper party blower. He took the tubes off of three or four other horns, and duct taped them to his. It worked too!
If this boy does not grow up to build things I will be amazed.
God bless the kid. He spends a lot of time with a lot of girls, and he holds his own and comes up with things like this to entertain himself!

A rare siting of me ~ I had to hand the camera off and ask, but I got a shot of me!

This what chocolate fondue does to normal very normal, well , semi- normal women!

Love these two!

And this one!

Sis and J ~ we had passed his "photo quota" for the evening, hence the forced smile - he also had not had enough Everlast to loosen him up yet~
I will forever be known as "Her" and "Peru You" is now in our vocabulary!
We laughed so much our sides hurt.
A great way to usher in the new year!
Much more fun than any of the dress up and wear heels parties we every went to!