I try very very hard not to take a moment of my children's lives for granted.
Some days it is not easy.
As parents, we get frustrated, impatient, angry, tired and just plain fed up.
The guilt of plopping in a chair at night and just wishing for some time away alone.
The constant wondering if you are doing the best you can....could you do more? Could you spend more time? Should you talk to them more? Less? Play more? less? Teach them something you are not?
It gets stressful, and I don't think there isn't a parent, well I feel in particular a mom, out there who has not at one point just wished for time alone, or *gasp* wondered what life may have been like had you never taken this road in life. Teh guilt of that used to rack me. Until I gave myself permission to feel it and get passed it. I had to learn that just because I met my wits end one day and had that thought does not mean I wish it to come true.
Like I said, I try very very hard not to wish away my children's childhood...for one thing I realize that every time I say, "It will be better when..."..that stage holds it's own challenges.......but mostly because I spend time reading blogs of babies just hanging on, or families who have lost children. And if they can keep their faith and thank God for wherever they are at, I think I can. It is a nice reminder, that the stress I deal with and have dealt with with my two and the issues, is nothing compared to seeing your child physically suffer, or heaven forbid leave this earth.
Any one who has read along with me for the last year knows I have been following and praying for a little boy born, yes I said BORN - as in not one day of his life lived without it, leukemia. His family has been told more than once, there is no more hope. Last Christmas I held my breath while he literally clung to life by a thread. He and his parents were sent home this summer, being told once again , there is no more to be done. Enjoy him. It won't be long.
His dad wouldn't have it. Researched, I am thinking literally for hours and deep into the night, alternative treatments for his boy. Fighting to save his son's life. {The time and stress I spent researching K's alternative treatment therapies seems nothing in comparison, but on a much smaller scale I was doing the same thing, thumbing my nose a traditional health care and searching for the answers for my child. No that I am comparing what we dealt with to what he is dealing with but I can say I have had a glimpse}
I literally gasped outloud when I read this post...please go there and see for yourself....
Re-miss-ion people!
My throat closes every time I see it.
My only wish is that I deal with the every day stress as well as the additional stress that we come across with the kids, with a more grateful heart on a daily basis. I am extremely grateful for my life, but have a tendacy to get stressed by the small stuff - the stuff that comes up everyday. I tend to lose the big picture. Well Jaymun just reminded what the big picture is.....
I try to ask myself - will this really honestly matter a year from now?
Some days it is not easy.
As parents, we get frustrated, impatient, angry, tired and just plain fed up.
The guilt of plopping in a chair at night and just wishing for some time away alone.
The constant wondering if you are doing the best you can....could you do more? Could you spend more time? Should you talk to them more? Less? Play more? less? Teach them something you are not?
It gets stressful, and I don't think there isn't a parent, well I feel in particular a mom, out there who has not at one point just wished for time alone, or *gasp* wondered what life may have been like had you never taken this road in life. Teh guilt of that used to rack me. Until I gave myself permission to feel it and get passed it. I had to learn that just because I met my wits end one day and had that thought does not mean I wish it to come true.
Like I said, I try very very hard not to wish away my children's childhood...for one thing I realize that every time I say, "It will be better when..."..that stage holds it's own challenges.......but mostly because I spend time reading blogs of babies just hanging on, or families who have lost children. And if they can keep their faith and thank God for wherever they are at, I think I can. It is a nice reminder, that the stress I deal with and have dealt with with my two and the issues, is nothing compared to seeing your child physically suffer, or heaven forbid leave this earth.
Any one who has read along with me for the last year knows I have been following and praying for a little boy born, yes I said BORN - as in not one day of his life lived without it, leukemia. His family has been told more than once, there is no more hope. Last Christmas I held my breath while he literally clung to life by a thread. He and his parents were sent home this summer, being told once again , there is no more to be done. Enjoy him. It won't be long.
His dad wouldn't have it. Researched, I am thinking literally for hours and deep into the night, alternative treatments for his boy. Fighting to save his son's life. {The time and stress I spent researching K's alternative treatment therapies seems nothing in comparison, but on a much smaller scale I was doing the same thing, thumbing my nose a traditional health care and searching for the answers for my child. No that I am comparing what we dealt with to what he is dealing with but I can say I have had a glimpse}
I literally gasped outloud when I read this post...please go there and see for yourself....
Re-miss-ion people!
My throat closes every time I see it.
My only wish is that I deal with the every day stress as well as the additional stress that we come across with the kids, with a more grateful heart on a daily basis. I am extremely grateful for my life, but have a tendacy to get stressed by the small stuff - the stuff that comes up everyday. I tend to lose the big picture. Well Jaymun just reminded what the big picture is.....
I try to ask myself - will this really honestly matter a year from now?
1 comment:
Love, love, love reading here!
I had goosebumps when I read about Jaymun's remission! YEAH!!!!!
Post a Comment