So, you say.....

So, you say - what have has that darn Fishy family been up to??
Well - I have been stocking up on my summer reading supplies.
www.paperbackswap.com
Totally awesome.
I have tons of paperbacks I have picked up to read. They make their rounds to my friends, then they sit here. So I go on this site, post what I have, and check and see what else is available. For every book I send out I get a credit to order a book. The cost to me? Postage to mail. That's it. Most of the books are less than $2. I have gotten both of the kid's summer reading requirement books, and three or four other books for K to read and this little pile for me, for less that $15. Looooove it! Now I noticed I can post some of our old DVD's and DVDswap.com and switch the credits over to the book site, or swap DVD's.

And, the pool's open!! Earliest ever this year! And surprising, the water temp was near 80 already last weekend. It is now lower with all the rainy cold weather we had.
But the kids braved it last weekend, and had fun.
And are those two suits not the cutest ever?
Wish I had a butt that could pull off boy shorts like that!

Ready set go.
You'll notice C was smart enough to go in slowly.

Lifeguard Zoey.
She won't go near the water, but she is happy as a clam to sit on a chair and watch.

K has been grabbing my camera a lot lately, so when I am uploading I find a bunch of gems I didn't know were there. Like this one. Too funny.
Unfortunately - this girl will most likely go back to not doing much ball chasing again this year..... JUST when her operated knee has been doing better and she has once again started going for walks and playing ball, this morning guess who was limping on her GOOD leg???
They gave us a 60% chance that the other knee would also tear within a year, but is it too much to ask that we at least get a few months break from the whole thing?

I leave you with..'
Making a LIVING is not the same as making a LIFE.

Mmmmmmmmm

Now that I have your attention -
Teehee.....
Is that not the most delicious looking thing on the face of the earth?
Raspberry, honey!
This just may have to be on the menu for my next dinner with friends!
Go over to the Bakerella's blog for the recipe....
I can see it being good with blueberry too......

And while I still have your attention, don't forget to thank a vet today - even if it is just in a minute of prayer. We are very fortunate to have the liberties we do, and thanks all the way back to the Revolutionary War are in order. Can you imagine still being part of England?
Happy Memorial Day!

Happy Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day weekend.
Please take a moment in the preparations for your fun sun filled weekend to remember those that came before us, fought to ensure your freedom.

Freedom we often take so for granted. 100's of young men in WW1 and 2 died to ensure that we could live as we do today. We are not persecuted for our religious beliefs. Our tv is not censored. We can say what is on our minds for the entire internet to see without fear of persecution.

Putting your life on the line to ensure the freedom and rights of someone else.
True heroism.
Thank you.

The Climb

Seek peace, and pursue it.
- Psalms 34:14

"Every day you may make progress.

Every step may be fruitful.
Yet there will stretch out before you
an ever-lengthening,
ever-ascending,
ever-improving path.
You know you will never get to the end of the journey.
But this, so far from discouraging,
only adds to the joy and glory of the climb."
~Sir Winston ChurchillJust a little bit of the beauty that greeted me today.
I am trying to make a conscious effort every day to take stock in the good things.
A lot of stress lately.
Tends to make me soul weary.
This quote reminds me not to wish my days away.
Every day will bring it's own challenges.
I can say "it will be better tomorrow" and wish for tomorrow, only to time and time again to be faced tomorrow with a new challenge.
This quote reminds me to enjoy the journey.
So every day I try to take a minute to enjoy that day for whatever it is.
The flowers make my soul happy.
The perennials aren't blooming yet, so I am glad I planted these pots a few weeks ago.



And just to remind me that there can be beauty in anything......these are plain old chives.
An herb.
An innocuous little plant.
But there is still beauty when it blooms, and pretty purple with the deep green.
There is good and beauty every where, we just need to choose to find it.

Oh yeah.

I have a blog.
Almost forgot about that.
I find myself wordless again.


I am sure it is just a phase.
It'll pass.

Maybe.

In the meantime I just leave you with some Zits.
Life with a teenager is never dull.

A nice reminder

Courtesy of Sara Frankl
Here's where you can find more...
Wish I could get one for the wall by the front door right now.....

A quote from Angie Smith on her blog, as she was writing about a recent trip she took with Compassion International to India.........


"As Compassion says,
"We don't want to mold children into people they aren't.
Our goal is to love them enough to see what is hidden in them
and then work to help that blossom.""


Wow.
I believe that may be the statement of the century
and something every parent should strive to accomplish.
Not an easy task at all.
Most children don't
"Fit the mold" so to speak
and as a parent it is so easy to get caught in the trap
of what society wants or does not want our children to be.
We are all molded by our life experiences
and daily lessons we learn from living.
And us as parent's try to "drive the bus" for our children
based on what we believe they should be.
God knows what my children will be someday.
I need to try to hold on to that sometimes,
when I look at the dreams K has and
at times can't imagine the struggle that will be her's to accomplish it.
But God knows.
and I have to have faith that she will find her path
and be successful in what ever she chooses,
not what I choose for her.
I can not spare her the hurts that may be along the way,
but there may also be delight that I can not see.


It takes an incredible amount of faith to be a parent, and
an incredible amount of wisdom to just
"let it be" -
Guide but not direct.
Support but not stifle.
Teach and be patient when the lessons
do not seem to be learned.
Love with no expectation.
Listen and not judge.
Know when to push, and when to stand back.
Listen without speaking.
Be content with what is,
instead of unhappy with what should be.

Mother's Day emotion

Me and my Mother's Day "card"-boards from the kids.

C had but "to the best mom I know" - but crossed it out and changed it to "in the world" -
They had disappeared downstairs Sat afternoon and were all secretive about what was going on down there and I was forbidden to enter. Then at my Mother's Day dinner (I hate going out on Mother's Day so I announced that I was not cooking Sat night and no one had any choice but to go out) - anyway they kept telling me I was getting the best cards ever.....
I did.
I Love them.

Until, later that morning.....when J had gotten his work clothes on and headed outside.
K. came to me with a sad face, and felt the need to apologize to me because they didn't have any presents to give me, because Daddy promised to take them yesterday, and never did. I guess when she saw him getting his clothes on today to work in the yard, she realized they weren't going today either.
Now - I hope someday when the kids remember this day or read this blog note, they will realize how much work a marriage can take on a day to day basis.
I always said I would keep things real here, and I am.
Anyone who knows me for any number of years, knows that a common argument and theme in our marriage is that J is not the best at planning ahead, getting gifts, or making big deal out of *special* days. We have argued about it, I have shed many tears, including my very first mother's day ever when I got nothing, not even a card. But over the years it has had to be something I have just had to accept about him, and for the most part I do.
Mother's Day morning, he offered to go to Dunkin Donuts and get me coffee and a bagel, I declined, but the offer was there. I had my dinner out with them the night before and ice cream and a nice night together. I was fine with that.
I had made up my mind I was not going to get my hopes up and I was going to enjoy the day as it came.
Until, my daughter came to me with tears in her eyes, and a heavy heart.
I broke.
I got very upset.
His carelessness had affected and hurt the kids. Even though I loved my hand made cards, and had said so, to them that was not enough.
I do not deserve the Best Mom ever alcolades they gave me, because instead of instilling a lesson right then and there, I got mad. I not so gently reminded them that sometimes Daddy doesn't think, and it is something they are going to have to learn to deal with when it comes to them...etc...you get the drift.
I called J outside to ask basically, what the f---?
Well - another thing anyone that knows me for any period of time knows is that my dh is a work-a-holic - again a source of much angst in our marriage - when he gets a bee in his bonnet that something is going to get done, he will not stop, and I am not exaggerating , literally not stop, for hours, work himself into the ground to get it done...often at the expense of the kids and I.
Yesterday it was them. The mulching came first.
His own imagined deadline more important.
I am a grown up, I can rationalize it, deal with it, and have had years to learn to deal with it. They have not.
Because the kids were hurt I got mad.
I remember how excited I used to get as a kid, when I had a gift for my mom, and even my dad, and the anticipation of giving it them and the happiness I felt. He was robbing them of that.
He claims he never remembers anything of the sort from his childhood, and was sure he didn't ever have anything special to give his mom, ever.
I seriously doubt it.
But anyway.......
He got wrapped up in the mulching and weeding Saturday and just "forgot" and "ran out of time" for taking the kids out. Even though they were out to Jake's flea market in the morning - but I guess it's my fault for discouraging them from chosing anything for me at the flea market.
So when I pointed out to him that they were sad, and how could he not take them, they can't take themselves, they rely on him. They are not in preschool anymore, and don't have teachers having them make my gifts - no more macaroni necklaces. They didn't pest him and ride him all day, they waited patiently, and when it became evident that they were not going, my wonderful industrious children headed to the basement and did the best they could with what they had.
Man I love them.
But J's answer to the whole situation was to immediately change his clothes and charge off to the mall. NOT what I wanted at all. And when I pointed that out to him that that was not the point, he was happy to tell me that the kids were delighted to go, and jumped right up out of their chairs when he told them they were going to the mall. Well no DUH, they were desperate to get me a gift! So before I could say a word, off they went.
I thought about my reaction after they left. I had to sit down and talk to them when they got back.
They were so excited when they got back to reach into their bags and throw at me what it was that they bought.
So I gently took each of their gifts, and cookbook from K and a huge book of crossword puzzles from C. My children know me well.
I took them aside and sat down, explained to them that I should not have gotten upset, but when they were hurt I was hurt. Reminded them that Daddy works hard for all of us, and that is something we have to love and accept about him. Also reminded them that Daddy's lesson of racing off to the mall, just to grab something they could give me was also not what I wanted them to learn. They understood, thankfully.
I then went to J ate a huge piece of crow, apologized for losing my temper, but not for being hurt.
He says, "I know you like your card in the morning" - but still knowing that couldn't plan one day ahead, and proceeded to make a list of excuses, and he was "getting around to taking them" today - even though he once again started working in the yard.......he can not seem to understand how that may hurt me....that I am not important enough to plan ONE FREAKIN day ahead.....
I am an adult, I know his way of telling me he cares and loves me has been the hard work he has put into the new flower beds, but the kids don't understand all of that yet.
He hurt them and that hurt me.
So last night at 10 pm he finally makes a big to do out of handing me my card from him, and was then surprised that I did not suddenly jump up and get all excited. I mean geesh..why bother at that point......says he wanted to wait til we were alone, but there was not one romantic gesture in how he did it. He could have handed the card to me in the middle of a crowded room with how he acted and no one would even have known what was going on.
It was a sweet card, about wishing he was the type of guy who was more romantic and could sweep me off my feet more. He is a wonderful caring smart hard working man. But there are times he can be so dense it kills me. My point is, stop wishing and just do it!
I suppose I was just supposed to at that point throw my arms around him and be "all better" - and here comes the marriage lesson for my kids.
Even though I was not ready to do that last night, I will be.
That is where the work comes into it.
You make decisions every day in a marriage.
After all these years, J is not going to change.
So I must.
One of the frustrating things for me is that I am typically the one that has to adjust.
But I have to make those choices.
And one reason I still let it get to me, is that one time I am going to hope and pray he is the one that tries harder just once. I reminded him that "I'm sorry" does not instantly make it "all better" and give him carte blanche to not even try ever again.
But I have to decide, adjust, come to terms with it, or make myself miserable.
Is it worth unhappiness and resentment?
Somethings are I am sure, this is not.
In the grand scheme of things, this is a drop, not a down pour. I try to be grateful for the other 100 wonderful things about him, no matter how much this 1 hurts me at times.
I am not saying there are not some things in a marriage that can not be adjusted to, there are. Many many things.
Thankfully I don't deal with those things.
But this is where the work comes in. Compromise.
Something I think is lacking in so many of our self centered society. Neither partner is willing to compromise on ANYTHING.....there is no way you can have a happy marriage without it.
I will compromise and settle for what is, but I will also continue to hope and pray that someday I will be pleasantly surprised by some thoughtfulness on J's part that makes me feel special and loved. It will be even more special when it happens because I know what an effort it will be for him to do it.
That will make all the tears worth it.

Mother's Day

As I scanned my last few posts, it really became apparent how wordless I really have been lately. Lots floating around the old noggin, but not a lot coming out in an understandable form.
The last few weeks have been really really full of missing this person.
Mom.
A lot of things happening on many fronts in the last few weeks, have just led to, even after all these years, missing her presence and dare I say wisdom in my life.
She lived in interesting all be it short life, and when she had an opinion you knew it, and most of the time she was right.

I try hard not to dwell on the negative,
but there are just days the hole just seems so much bigger than usual.
I wonder...
what she would think about this or that...
what she would tell me about this or that....
what she thinks of the grandchildren, and how they have grown and the people they are becoming....
what would she say about me as a mother....
what advice would she give me as one mother to another....
what childhood memory would she remind me of when I am complaining, or telling her about something the kids did.
I think that is what I miss the most.
The ability to go to her, question, ask about me at that age, or what she did in this or that situation.
But one thing I do know.
A lot of who I am as a person and a mother is largely due to her. {And I do have to give some credit to my grandmothers as they were a huge impact on me as well}
So I take some comfort in hoping that I am doing something right and that I am making her proud.
Miss you mom,
Happy Mother's Day in heaven.

You are the reason, my only real true goal in life is to raise strong healthy kids, and one day get to be the hands-on-involved, be-there-for-them-when-they-need-you, play-with-them grandmother you never got to be.
{in about 20 years!}

You just have to laugh

Family Circle Magazine which I am loyal subscriber described this suit "for the bikini girl at heart who needs a bit more coverage, a ruffle around the hips does the trick." -
Seriously.
I can really honestly see how that ruffle makes all the difference.
Not.
And the folks that need a "bit more coverage" do not belong in a bikini. I am all for being proud of you body, but trying to convince someone that this little ruffle is going to hide any of their indisgression is just a joke. These are the same people who will convince themselves because the magazine told them so that that loud busy pattern they splashed all over their huge butt is going to totally distract the eye from the fact that they are overwieght and wearing a bathing suit.

So I had to go to the JCPenney, where the magazine so kindly told I could find the suit and I found this one. This might cover a *tad* more than the pink one, if you are "needing a bit more coverage" -
I am honestly sorry, if "need a bit more coverage" I won't be looking at a bikini.
So I of course had to try to make a joke out of this and now post pictures of more plus size folks, whom I can poke fun at since I am a woman who "needs a bit more covereage" -
but would you believe on JCPenney even when you click on the Plus link, you only see the suits on average women. I went to Fashion Bug , one of my favorite places to find plus sizes (Which I will happily say 25 lbs down and I no longer fit the plus sizes) - and there also NO MODELS wearing plus sizes.
A message?

I had to go all the way to Lane Bryant to find a real person wearing a plus size suit. To their credit they do only cater to the plus size woman while the other two sites also have Jr and Miss sizes.
I do believe this one may provide a *tad* more coverage to someone who may need it.
I am all for being proud of your body as is. But I am also all for accepting the fact that there are just some things that other folks on the beach do not need to see.

Beds are *almost* done

But first I had to show you my front door right now.
The bluebells and tulips are so pretty together and the lilac smells wonderful. No candle in the world can smell the same. It seriously needs cut back after is finishes flowering.

This is one of the front beds. Ja dn I spent the better part of Saturday getting all the shrubs in. After some great recommendations from the landscape manager at the nursery. I am not as good with shrubs as I am with flowers, so I told her what "look" I wanted and she made these wonderful recommendations. Shewas all about my "Looks natural I don't like all the plants in a uniform line tastes"
Everything along the fence will be taller, and the junipers in the front will stay low.

There is a sand cherry in the corner that is a faublous red leaf, that will deep in the fall. It will also get big and full. The Wigelia on the end will also lend some red to the bed, to contrast the yellow of the mops, and blue of the junipers. There is a big empty space in the middle of this bed, that I believe I hear begging me for a birdbath.

This bed is smaller than the other one, as this tree was closer to the property line.

The view from the street.
Now all I need is some color from perennials and we are good to go! Getting an online order this week with some different coneflowers - pink and lime green! Yea.
Then I will bore you all to death with more pictures of my flowers!

Later this summer when everything is *in* , the front bed by the porch needs a serious overhaul....wonder if we can find some discarded railing to put in!? I wish!

Monday Morning Truth

If only we could get them to understand BEFORE they become parent's and the light comes on.

So true So true

Oh my

To further add to my recipe addiction,
as well as foster my continued blog addiction....
I give you...
Conversations with a Cupcake
How could you go wrong?