Betcha didn't know.....

One of my favorite bloggers in the world, Barking Mad ,Audrey is having a little give away on her blog.
I have no idea why I am going to enter to win, but here I am.
Her challenge was to come and tell you all something about me that you may not know. And when I tell you, you will wonder why I am entering to win a Twilight gift pack (Just keep in mind my 14 year old daughter and tons of friends with whom I could share the books.)
because you see - what I have to tell you is this....
I have a totally unfounded unrealistic unnatural fear of vampires.
I am talking even in the sweltering heat of summer have not slept without a sheet pulled all the way up to my neck fear. I am a bit better about being a tad uncovered when the windows are closed.
I have broken into a cold sweat just opening Salem's Lot or even thinking of watching Lost Boys.
I just can not do it.
My skin crawls just to think about it. Even though someone did tell me Twilight vampires do not feast on humans and it is a love story, I just can not do it.
You would think by my age I would have out grown it.
My rational brain knows there is no such thing. The irrational part of my brain that was exposed to something as a child that triggered this fear, says otherwise. I don't remember any such event but I am sure I am repressing that memory.
So there you have it. My deepest darkest secret - well not really but that is as far as y'all are going to get -
This vampire-phobe is going to try to win the contest!
What am I nuts?

Zoey Update

Sometimes she just looks so much more mature and serious than she really is.
She does not care for the camera.

And she has been spending a lot of time doing this lately.
The kids have been outside riding bikes and playing basketball and it is killing her not to be out there with them.
She had her surgery follow up today to have her staples removed. I am very happy to report she did not bother her staples at all. Only had to wear the hood a few times just because I was nervous. The vet is extremely pleased with her progress - and smitten by our girl. She is way ahead of where the typical dog is at this point! Yay! He said her strength and conditioning definitely helped her to recover so nicely, as well as her personality.
She still needs to be relatively quiet for the next few weeks, but is allowed to start walks, and a bit of time off the leash closely supervise. Basically told me to use my own judgement as to how she is doing. Still no running.
But if it means she will be chasing her balls by the summer, we can manage to keep her quiet.

It's done!

Remember this??



It now looks like this.

I was trying to capture the distressing that I did but it is hard to see on camera.
I never like anything I do...but I must say, I am very pleased with how this turned out....I love it in the kitchen....

So I finally have the cupboard in my kitchen that I have always wanted. :)
$100, $25 or so in paint and knobs....lots of painting, and sanding....elbow grease...
Well worth it.

Baby baby

Look who is spending the weekend in our house...
This is Amy.
Baby Amy.
K has been looking forward to this for weeks.
This is part of the 21st Century Living curriculum this quarter. The baby is labeled "realityworks" - like that is all it takes ....
it cries and wants certain things throughout the day and night. K has to figure out what, and register that she is the caregiver by a magnetic bracelet she is wearing.....she is having fun with it, and is very caring even though it is pretend.
But she has realized...it was fun the first few hours. Then, last night, as it had disturbed her dinner and our trip out to Rita's by crying when she wanted to eat, and she was trying to IM on the computer, and it was fussing. All I heard was , "Oh come on....what now..."
Couldn't help but snicker.
I told her I didn't eat a hot meal or read a book for nearly 5 years straight!

K and I have always had an open conversation about sex, and everything that goes with it. But I have also taken the chance with this baby here to remind her, no matter what you think or people tell you, *pregnancy* is a possibility any time you chose to have sex. Period. So unless you are ready for it, don't do it.
And as K put it this morning, after it woke her all night long, and she couldn't go skating last night...."it was fun the first few hours, but after a few months it would get old." Then of course I pointed out to her that she as lucky she didn't have to take care of it for the next 18 years.....

There has also been a lot of conversation about this gal around here lately....apparently the oh so perfect relationship she and her boyfriend had is no longer. Like that is a shock to any of us who live in the real world. But I also have a difficult time with this statement...
"Regardless, Bristol Palin is now a single teen mother, facing all of the challenges those statistics predict, and more." - referenced in this article if you want to read the whole thing.
I am sorry - yes, the statistics of teen pregnancies is staggering - and yes, I feel for her. There is no way on earth we can believe for a minute that this girl is going to be the "typical" teen mother any more than Jamie-Lynn Spears is "typical" - These families have the means to financially support these girls, as well as staff, and otherwise to help. I am sure neither will ever have to worry about who will watch the baby while they finish school and how they will pay for it. They will most certaily never wonder if their is enough milk in the frig or whether there will be heat in the house tonight. Seeing these two prance around with their little strollers and cute little designer outfits is not what our teenagers need to be seeing. Let's show them the teen mothers standing in line at county services applying for their WIC checks, or in the grocery store line calculating how much their food stamps are going to cover. Fathers working minimum wage jobs trying to feed their young family. Most parents I would hope ,would not desert their children no matter the decisions they made - but the truth of the matter is , some do, and very few families have the means to support these kids, and their babies. As much as I would love and try to help care for a child, should it happen, I work...we pay our own bills...I couldn't baby sit, and feed another baby, nor do I really have the desire to that again at my age....that is reality. I have also let my kids learn their lesssons through life's consequences, and while I would never let my daughter live in squallor could I help it, I will also not make it "all better" for her by totally supporting her and a baby.

I am the product of a teen pregnancy...proof that we do not all wind up statistics...(Actually my mom had three children by the time she was 18)...but only because my parents both had extremely supportive families. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents. But we also grew up in a trailer, in cheap clothes, one pair of shoes a season...no money.....they did not stay together and live happily ever after...that is another story all together...
..but I always knew I was loved. That mattered.

sanity

Lyrics to
Toes by the Zac Brown Band

I got my toes in the water, ass in the
sand

Not a worry in the world, a cold beer in my hand

Life is good today. Life is good today.



Although at the time of day this pic was taken, it would have been a hot coffee in my hand...but anyway....
this thought may be the one that gets me through these last dredges of winter to the light at the end of the tunnel!
As much as we loved Tenn. last year, I am anxious to get my *ss in some sand.

Look what I found!

Wow.
2 years old.
There is one advantage to rooting through old "pre-digital age" Pictures...
You come across these gems...
My heart just explodes when I look at them.

Darn she loves her Daddy.

Can I Carry You ?

© Brad Anderson

I guess that I can hold you
one more time before you grow.
And tell you that I love you
so that you will always know.
Please let me tie your shoe again.
One day you'll tie your own.
And when you think back to this time
I hope it's love I've shown.
Can I help you put your coat on?
Can I please cut up your meat?
Can I pull you in the wagon?
Can I pick you out a treat?
One day you might just care for me,
so let me care for you.
I want to be a part
of every little thing you do.
Tonight could I please wash your hair?
Can I put toys in the bath?
Can I help you count your small ten toes
before I teach you math?
Before you join a baseball team
can I pitch you one more ball?
And one more time can I stand near
to make sure you don't fall?
Let's take another space-ship ride
Up to the Planet Zoor.
Before our Cardboard Rocket
doesn't fit us anymore.
Please let me help you up the hill.
while you're still too small to climb.
And let me read you stories
while you're young and have the time.
I know the day will come
when you will do these things alone.
Will you recall the shoulder rides
and all the balls we've thrown?
I want you to grow stronger
than your Dad could ever be.
And when you find success
there will be no soul more proud than me.
So will you let me carry you?
One day you'll walk alone.
I cannot bear to miss one day
from now until you've grown.

I hear a scrapbook page calling my name....

Messy mess mess....

Wonder what I have been up to today?

Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort. ` Franklin D Roosevelt

Creating, or in this care, recreating makes me happy.

They still make me laugh

Here lately - K has been coming up with some interesting thoughts....A few days ago in the car was -
K: "mom, some of my friends were saying today that they want to live forever"
Me: "That's interesting. What would you like to do"
K: "I'm not sure. On one hand it would be cool to live forever, but I think I would get bored. I would do everything there was to do, then be bored. So I don't think I want to live forever."
There ya have it! Philosophy of a 14 year old. I had to chuckle.
Heaven forbid if we endure the eternal torture of boredom.
This did launch us into a discussion on living forever if you had to "get old" - I would never want to live forever if I had to live it in the body of a 100 year old, or 200 year old person. But man, maybe if you tell me I could be 29 forever, I may take you up on that.
It also led to my being able to share that I am certain living forever in heaven will be much more interesting than living forever on Earth would be.

Then today she gave me an entire synopsis for doing a study
of how kids would react to new kids in school.
Going to different schools, acting different ways and observing
how people reacted differently to each *different* person.
She was dead serious too.
This is a kid they are telling me may never go to college.
Who loves math and science...loves the periodic table...
just hates english and social studies.
But she is designing sociology studies in her head. Just because.

She has been struggling with the fact that at 14 years old, she doesn't know what she wants to be when she grows up! The schools are pushing the kids to know going into high school what their plans are. She has been sick over it.One friend knows she is going to be a vet, one a lawyer, one an accountant.....
I told her it is ok not to know. Geesh, most grown adults still don't know what they want to be when they grow up!
Dear Lord J. came down here to work for a summer before going back home to go to college to be an accountant, and never went home! He did a full 360 that summer, THANK GOD! (now ask his mother to tell the story of his not telling her that he was not coming home until they came to pick him up! I tell him he still owes her for that one)

God has big plans for her. I think the struggles she has come through have been perhaps "training ground" - molding her in some way for her future.
Someone who knew her long ago, once said that to me they thought God had special plans for K, I think it was shortly after the orchestra concert where K gave her working bow to the violinist next to her who "forgot" to get her's checked, so that her friend could play, and K pretended. That is her heart.
She has always been at the end of the bell...never really fallen on the curve.
While God's plans may be radically different than the "new mom" dreams I once had for her, I have to trust that no matter what, she IS going to be ok.

The birthday boy

Awake at 7 am this morning cause he was just too darn excited.

Doin' here best Jackie O...

Birthday pancakes....
I think this will become a new birthday weekend tradition...

My third child.....it seems at times...

A rare shot of the grown ups together!

An even rarer shot yet - my sister and I.

'Da boys...
except J ruined it!

The *real* faces of the children. :)
Bellies full.
Windows now open here.
C playing with the new "cheat code" cartridge K got him for his birthday.
All is well.
Off to his bowling tourney this afternoon!

*teehee*

"Where did I put my dignity?
Her face says it all.

After I took these, she refused to look at me.
Had to work today, so just to be sure, even though she hasn't bothered her incision, I didn't want her to get bored while I was away and start licking.
So lampshade it is!
Thankfully it will only be when she is alone, which won't be much in the next few days.

Birthday Boy

Licking the bowl from his cake last night....going to be a C. creation for sure, four layers, white and chocolate.....he is just disappointed he has to wait til today to frost and eat it.

Today this *guy* - I can't even say kid anymore...
turns 12.
What is it about that number?
I cringe more with that then 10 or even 13. I don't know why.
Three very short years ago I wrote this about him shortly after his 9th birthday...
and I can really honestly say I could write the same thing about him again this year.
He is just sweet. A charmer.
All be it growing into a boy, not a kid anymore.
He is starting to smell like a boy.
Move like a boy.
Still tries to hug and occasionally cuddle like a kid, but feels weird. He *feels* big...

One thing I have noticed, especially this penned-up-it-has-been-too-flippin-cold-to-go-out last few weeks of winter that the kids have been stuck inside with me.....they are getting big.
Not just older, BIG. As in taking up more space in the room.
More space on the couch. We are bumping into each other more.
I am starting to live with two other grown people.
Not little under your feet toddler children anymore.
K is as tall as I am , all be it, much thinner and more gorgeous, and C just HAD to point out to me last night that he is not far behind.....
I fear I am losing the battle. They are growing before my eyes.
I am so proud of the people they are becoming.....so sad to see my babies go, but also so excited to meet the grown people they will be.

Happy Birthday Bubba - love you!

Back home...

Just a quick note today.
Zoey is home.
She was a bit stressed when I got her home - grinding her teeth, constant licking her mouth, and throwing off MAJOR hair....
but she settled, and is now in her favorite sunbeam.
So far so good without a cone - although I have had to scold her to stop fussing at her staples once or twice. I think I may get one for tomorrow when I have to be away all day. I don't trust her.
She is not allowed to do more than go out on the leash to pee/poo for two weeks....then gradually increase her activity on.the.leash. She is not allowed off leash to play until at least 6 weeks, gradually adding short short short walks on the leash and upping the time from there.


In other news - yes, this would be my cell phone.
In 20 years of owning a cell phone I have never barely damaged one. Never gotten one wet, and only misplaced it to the point of needing to search once.
But when I do it, I do it right.
I never ever never ever put my cell in my pants pockets. It just doesn't work for me. But J and I are beginning to venture out to places like the grocery store without the kids. We were together so I didn't need my purse, so I popped my cell in my back pocket just in case the kids needed me, and didn't call j's phone.
Well - anyone that knows me knows I usually change into "comfy clothes" as soon as I get in from anywhere. True to form I changed on sunday and forgot about my cell.
Did laundry Monday morning. even forgot to close the washer lid when the load was filling, so the clothes sat in there for a while....
wasn't til I heard something thumping in the dryer - and I went to check did I realize my faux pas!
I did everything you are supposed to do, it has been drying since. 48 hours now.....thankfully K had gotten a phone from my niece and we had her other one inactive here at home. I got my number switched to it. Yesterday was like driving someone else's car! None of my work numbers were in it, I did not know the features, didn't recognize the ringtones.....I am scared to turn mine back on. I don't think I will be keeping K's but since I am not even eligible for an early upgrade I will pay full price for anything I buy. Zoey's surgery = no new phone for me.
So maybe pray mine works!

Zoey

Our sweet girl.
Is having knee surgery today.

I am sure it is becuase she has done way too much of this in the last few months.
The depth of my emotion when I dropped her off this morning really surprised me.
Yes, of course I love her, she is our beloved pet, but I am the one that always says,
"she's still the dog"
But man, I tell you it was like dropping one of the kids off for a procedure.
I cried, called J.
Everytime I think about her right now, I choke up a bit.
So if you are so inclined. Her surgery is this afternoon.
Send some positive thoughts and prayers her way.
she was so happy to be there this morning, obediently sat on the scale, loved on the tech. totally unaware of what was about to happen. Ah, to be so blissfully naive. But it is her personality. When she was fixed, the tech. said Zoey liked her face the entire time she was falling asleep.
Not sure what the next few weeks will hold ...she has to be kept quiet....
Love you girl.

Yes, as a matter of fact

I am nuts.
That has been proven more than once!
This is the newest member of the Fishlock household.
Blaze.
Blaze Fred Fishlock as the kids have christened him.
He was already named as we adopted him. But of course my two had to add their own twist.

A friend on one of my scrapping boards had posted that she had adopted this little guy to keep her guinea pig company, but they did not get along. So keeping two seperate cages etc...she decided to look for a new home for him. C. saw the picture, has never really had a pet of his own. (K has been through hamster - and I believe it was her 12th birthday that she got the hamster, and fish, and really the dog is mostly *hers* except that I take care of her), and really really wanted him. So I caved.

I personally love guinea pigs, much more than squirmy hyper hamster and jumpy rabbits. Pigs are so social, and larger and easier for the kids to handle. You can hand feed them, and they *chirp* when they are happy. I also don't mind *helping* the kids take care of them.

We are presently in the honeymoon phase...so he is getting lots of attention. C. is over the moon for him...as you can see he customized his home with his name and hand drawn picture. He was up 45 min early today to come down and check on him, feed him - I came down there was a trail of lettuce pieces from his *house* to his food bowl, C says, in case he doesn't know where we put it. :)

So, it's all good. My heart just explodes when I see how happy C is, and how much he wants to take care of Blaze. Something he will always remember, and that makes me happy.