Not myself

Not sure who I am lately. But it hasn't been me.

I am
unsettled.
emotional.
tearful.
angry.
tired.

It may surprise some of my friends that I do have clinical depression. A tricky tricky thing. So right now I am deciding if all of this is from that. I have my ways of dealing with it, and most of the time do pretty well. But when I can't get my quiet time, and I am not eating right, it tends to sneak up on me. I can't say for sure right now that is what is going on with me. Doesn't feel quite the same. This is not the typical time of year that the depression gets the better of me. Love the "but what do you have to be depressed about?" comments you get. Like I am making a choice to feel this way. It is so hard to put into words.

I feel like something is going to happen. And I am not sure what.

Seriously not taking enough pictures of this summer either!! Spending a lot of time running to the library. K. has discovered Nancy Drew's graphic novels. Loves them. They are huge comic books, but long, and still reading! Running lots of errands. One thing I am noticing without the kids being medicated is a LOT of chatter. Constantly. Comments. Mommy, did you see....Mommy, why is that?....Mommy, didja ever wonder?....CONSTANT.....which most of the time is fine. But when we are running errands and it has been hours on end of chatter, I just have to ask for five minutes of NOTHING...they are behaving...not making a scene or anything but interrupting me and each other, as well as an occasional clerk.....so correcting, redirecting A LOT.....makes me tired by the end of the day. But I love them so much more like this. K. is doing great, and hopefully by school, even better. Not reading as much as I would like, but still reading. C. is still reading a lot even unmedicated. So that is a good sign. Not sure how he will be in school without meds, but we are going to give it a try. TRYING to get them to be a bit more self directed and independant this summer when it comes to cleaning up after themselves and their rooms.

well the dust bunnies call.....this house is a mess......I will post some pictures later....I can't remember what I have taken lately!