Can I just tell you.....

One of outakes from taking pictures after the tree was up...

Can I just tell you, how far this man has come in the last year!
If you are a regular blog reader, adn me 40 years from now reading back on my blog,
you know one thing...
I have often come here to expell the woes of being married to someone who is not the world's best shopper or gift giver.
I have spent many a holiday or important day
stewing over the lack of attention in that department
from my wonderful husband.
Well - I guess I can complain no more.....
he has come through more than once this past year.
I believe I finally have him broken in!

To summerize the story -
I have had a very hard time finding my Christmas spirit this year.
Our job changes have added additional stress to our world in the last month,
continually dealing with the kids' difficulty in school,
not having my usual days off and
feeling overwhelmed by a list that seems way too long and
time way to short....
I just haven't been able to find it.
Add to the mix that J had to go do a side job last weekend
when it seemed much more important to me that we spend time at home
getting Christmas up in the house....
needless to say I was grouchy...
Tackling the boxes one at a time on my own...
And lo and behold I open a huge box that should have been the outdoor wreaths.
And I find a bunch of little boxes....
containing this......

The Willow Tree Nativity that I have been coveting for years now.
I knew he had been surfing eBay months ago and saw it...but I warned him , we don't have the money....
well apparently - this was a bargain brand new that could not be passed up, or so he assures me....

Anyway....I digress.....

Could he have know weeks ago when he ordered this that I would be having a really horrible week and he would have to work?
When he left it in the box for me to find he merely thought I would enjoy
putting it to use this year instead of opening it Christmas morning and having to wait until next year.....
I know he did not intend the reaction he got, but got it he did.
Opening this surprise was exactly what I needed.....

It literally brought me to my knees next to the box, in tears as I opened each one.
They are beautiful resin copies of original wood carved pieces.
I love Willow Tree's work.
They specialize in capturing relationships.
I particularly love that there is no manger in this scene.
Even though the bible says there was one,
I love that Mary is holding Jesus,
staring lovingly at Him.
As I know , any mother would with her first born.
It speaks to me.


In one fell swoop, I was reminded of my husband's love for me, and
reminded very quickly where I could find the Christmas spirit I was so seriously lacking.
It wasn't on my list, or in the boxes of decorations,
or dependent on everything getting put up in a timely manner....
it is in that manger.
And I so needed that reminder.
See , *someone* knew what I would need that day.
Set that plan into motion months ahead.
If you keep your heart and your mind open,
you can see it.
The love.
Every day.

I would love to admit that the Christmas spirit has been alive and well ever since
but I am human
and while I am not circling the drain
as I was the day I opened that box, I am still not where I should be.
I try to recenter myself every time I look up to the mantel and survey that scene.
I miss my church.
I miss my routine.
I miss the security that is so disheveled right now
in so many areas of our family and lives.
But I also know,
it will all be alright.
Christmas will come.
I pray it comes to our hearts long before it comes under the tree.

And looking at this loving caring patient face every day has to make me smile in the meantime!

Couldn't resist

I don't usually enter online contests and all that jazz...but this one was too darn tempting....so I am also telling you about it!
Go HERE now to try to win a flat screen touch computer!

So..thanksgiving.....

Even though I am still recovering from the flare up in my hip/leg that the drive gave me, I would not trade our yearly trip to NC for nearly anything. We look forward to it every year, spend a lot of time just hanging out with my brother, and his family, as well as my sister and hers. Rarely, do we even do that when they are here......
This year B took us to Pilot Mountain.
Gorgeous.
Rumored to have been a lookout point for indians and pioneers. I believe it. You can see nearly forever from up there. We spent some time at the lookout point, then hiked up to the "knob". If we wanted to , yeah right, we could have gotten a permit to climb the rocks to the real actual top.
nuh-uh. Not happening.

So nothing profound in this post...just fun pictures...

My brother's boys did not tag along...just my two and the nieces.

K and S on an "elbow" tree.

Love this one.

From the lookout. If I was better at direction I could tell you we could probably see Virginia or Tenn. on the horizon. Literally it was like looking out on the ocean horizon we could see so far.

Considering the lore of the indians and pioneers it was almost creepy how many profiles we could see in the rocks. This one was the most real - forehead, nose chin, mouth and the moss even looks like hair. Perhaps the indians are right, the spirits do still live inside the rock.

Sis and her hubs - a rare nice shot!

The dude. Who could not get enough climbing.

At the bottom of the knob..up up up....

At the over look...

A shot from another path the kids did not venture down, just us grown ups. I totally did not climb over a fence to an illegal area to get this shot...nuh-uh not me...

Me and my hubs.

Another illegally gained shot....

Well maybe this is where I get profound.
These two.
I adore them.
The three of us have certainly lived, experienced, lost and loved a lot.
I am so darn proud of both of them.
I looked at my "baby" brother over that weekend, cooking, working around his house, parenting...and just could not get over the man he has grown into. I still look at him occasionally and think I expect to see the young boy I used to drag, literally, out of bed by his feet.
Then there is my sis - whom of course I see more often, so don't tend to ponder as much.
She is so strong and it amazes me daily what she accomplishes some days.
I know Mom is looking down beaming from ear to ear to see these two.
To see what they are maturing into.
The giving, caring, strong, loving people they have become.
I wonder if anyone who knew my parents as the teenage parents they were,
ever expected three wonderful, mature, giving back,
providing for their families, and much much more adults,
to come from that union?
Sometimes I look back at the childhood the three of us had,
and wonder how on earth we all came out so well!
God is good.
Good things do come with time, prayer and patience.
I am so glad for the place we all are in our lives right now.
Just wish we weren't so far apart most of the time!

Happy Thanksgiving

I could not have said it better myself....
so today's post brought to you by
TheHappySelf.com

Go read his Thanksgiving post.

We are such a society of gimme's in recent years.
It is sad.
We are all blessed beyond belief and there are very few
that truly honestly deserve to wallow.
The more we get, the more we want.
And we want to blame God when we don't get what we "want" when we have all we "need".
We take so much of what we have for granted.
From our freedoms to our health.
We continue to gorge ourselves and become obese and blame everything else for our diabetes and heart attacks.
We get houses and mortgages much larger than we can ever afford, and look for hand outs when we can't pay for it.
We sit back and blame everyone and everything for our "ill's and troubles" yet do nothing pro-active to change it.

So - be thankful.
Truly honestly look around and truly honestly see what we have, and take a few minutes to thank God or the universe for your blessings.

Wow.

There has been so much awesomeness around here lately.

Also a lot of the good kind of stress, but stress nontheless.
We did manage to get out to the small zoo
near us a few weeks ago and got some nice pictures.
This one of C. Love it. Dorky smirk and all. Don't get many of him anymore.
He is so quiet. A boy of few words.
Where in our world of a loud active dominating
sister he can get lost in the shuffle.
So proud of him - starting Jr High, settling in.
Made honor roll even with a D in reading - which as conferences tonight
we will find out why and rectify the situation.
So next quarter maybe high honors!

he got his braces back on last week too. Have to get a picture.
Second phase.
Another $4000!
And just in time for saving money on ins. benefits...so hopefully we won't even notice the change.
Now neither will be feel some relief from our ins. savings til the braces or done, but
at least we won't be trying to find an extra $300 every month!
But I think he is worth it!

And for once, there is a lot of stuff going on on the grown up side of things too!
For the first time in years, both of us are starting new jobs. New
schedules, new routines. Throws things into a tizzy for awhile.
Praying my choices are the right ones for me.
But what we are trying to remember is gratitude that in this
economy, I have two jobs and J just a new job and promotion.
We will be saving money in healthcare, and have a flex plan to help
with other healthcare expenses.
True honest to God blessings.
Trying to hold onto ourselves in the process. A lot less alone time together the
past few weeks, which makes us a bit grouchy, but as things settle, we
should get back to that.
We are going to celebrate at Emeril's again next weekend.
J thinks that is the most awesome part of the deal!

And this one keeps challenging us in her teenage girl ways.
Huge , let's just say "debate" over hair color last week.
This is the "compromise" between an entire head of blond hair and leaving it natural.
No matter how I could try there was no convincing her that going to WalMart and dumping
a bottle of blond dye on her dark hair was not going to illicit blond hair. What do I know?
I was the Sun-In generation! Believe me I know what happens to brunettes when you try to
dye them blond. Orange! So we did compromise on splitting the cost of these zebra type highlights, and gave her the "funky" different look she wanted.
I remember this age well, although I tended to mess with my clothes more than my hair, but then again I didn't have the options in the 80's that the kids have now.
To me it is only hair color.
There are bigger things to argue about, but there is no way I could comply with a whole head of blond. I held her hand when she cried after cutting it all off last year.
I am so glad she felt my permission was important. Glad she did chose to talk it over with me.
And just when I relaxed and thought that crisis was averted and I could sit back and relax for a bit, the word thong underwear came up a few days later.
It never ends.
So happy though that she finally has a group of friends, she is concerned with her appearance and seems to be feeling better about herself. Things that have been so fragile in our world over the years.
Wish I could say her grades were top priority, but we are working on that as well.
Praying some day I will look back at this time and laugh at my frustration.
That is yet to be determined!
As a parent, you want so much for your kids, and to constantly hear that you have a bright kid who is a joy in class, but continues to not live up to her potential, is so maddening.
But there are some choices she is starting to make for herself. We stress responsibility accountability and being in control of your own destiny.
I want the world for her. I know she has big dreams.
But no matter how I tell her, she has no realization that her choices now can change all that.
There is only so much I can control.
And I have to come to peace with the thought that no matter how it pans out in her adult life,
she will be ok. I have to believe that and trust that.
I know she has the capability to make an impact on the world if she choses to, but I can't force her to.

So even in these battles and ensuing frustration there are blessings.
so trying hard to keep those close to my heart.

"Last day"
Yup. Took some pictures.
18 + years.

Some butterflies but excitement as well.
This is a huge step.
J does not "do" change very well.
He prefers the comfortable and familiar.
One reason I can pretty much say our marriage is safe!
No more oily hoodie.
Collared shirts only.
I am having a tough time imagining it.
And as soon as an appropriate amount of time
has passed so I am not weirdo stalking wife with camera
I will stop in his office and get a picture of him at his desk.
So proud o fall he has accomplished with only
a highschool diploma and a lot of smarts!

Also means this monstrosity, or it's even bigger predecesor, is no
longer parked in front of the house! Woohooo!!
It has been so much a part of our lives for so long, it is almost weird not to see it.
And then again the kids say,
How will we tell people to find the house?

No apologies

I refuse to apologize for not blogging in my own journal.
Life is full
Life is happy right now.
I find myself with fewer words then
and less time to write them.
We are so blessed to have a life
so full there is no time for sitting
at the computer.
Total thoughts of gratitude right now
but also thinking of renaming the blog
"I survived parenting a teenage girl" -
some days I wonder if I will survive with my sanity intact.
New jobs,
new braces,
new hair....
It is all coming
I promise....

The big news

This monstrosity will not longer be parked in front of our house.
18 years at Lynch...nearly 15 years with this truck parked in front of the house.
J has made a HUGE move.
Gave notice.
Leaving.
Yup.
There wasn't much choice. They have been laying off.
Increasing healthcare co-pays to the point we could barely pay them.
Uncertainty looms on the horizon. Very little work to be done.
So j not so lightly decided he need to look for options.
In God's perfect timing....
it just so happens, one of the subs he has been working with, and liked tremendously had gotten let go earlier this year, and wound up at another company.
When J has occasionally talked to him, he mentioned that he thought J would be a good fit, and the co. needed a few more "chiefs" on the job.
So on a whim, J sent a resume.
Turns out they took one look, fingered him for a project manager position and told them they didn't want anyone else they wanted him.
Being the man that J is, he looked into other options as well, and did get another offer from a local contractor, but they could not meet this offer or opportunity but said for sure, if for some reason J was not happy, they would take him in a heart beat.
This company is corporate. East Coast with a "regional" office. So he was a bit
nervous about that whole situation. But spent
time at the offices and felt comfortable.
J does not take change very easily.
This is HUGE!
So in this recession,
He had two offers to chose from.
Right when it was needed most.
We weren't sure how many more cuts we could pull off.
J will be a project manager.
Promotion.
No.more.tools.
I am having a hard time imagining that scenerio but he has been doing a lot of this on a smaller scale where he is working now, and not getting compensated for it.
He is a talented contractor.
I am so proud of his skill and the words of respect I have already heard from his new employer and they barely know him.
He has worked so hard to get here.
So even without a pay raise, which there will be a small one,
we will be saving $400 a month just in ins. co-pays alone!
JUST ENOUGH TO COVER C's BRACES for the next year.
Timing.
I tell you.
faith.
I am also gradually working into a new job!
Yup.
Both of us.
I will be working for a bit less, but when you calculate the number of hours I work now with no pay, I will actually be "working" less outside of the house and bringing home probably more on a weekly basis, and a very consistent check.
That is going to help too!
Now I just have to get up the nerve to tell a really wonderful boss that I have tired of all the driving, the schedule changes, and last minute patient's not home or ill that mess with my schedule. For the first time in 16 years be working close to home, and
guess where J's office is? Bethlehem! We are totally swapping locations!
it means back to the clinic for me. But a dynamic well scheduled low stress lots of help one. So I am at peace with the decision.
So things will take awhile to get settle down.
But by January we should be financially stable, settled in our new routines and doing great!
I pray that both decisions are the right ones for us.
Neither based exclusively on dollar amts but what our family needs now
and what will make us satisfied. So I think they were sound choices.
J will get a car allowance now so he is searching for a real car that will be
OURS TO USE AS A SECOND VEHICLE! Woohooo!!
We are a two car family again!
Leaps of faith going on all over the place here lately.
And some adapting to do.
SO we are keeping the faith that we are were we are supposed to be.
:)

Halloween

No trick or treat for this gal this year! But, she did dress up to hand out candy ...for a whole 20 minutes!
She had a zillion different plans for the night that all fell through....
this is the part of the growing up that gets me in the gut.
No more trick or treat.
Wanting to be away from home on trick or treat night instead of home with us.
I know I know..normal ...but I still want to do those things!

And this would be C dressed as , yup you guessed, "a box" He did add some fake swords at the last minute to look like he had been stabbed in the box. This costume lasted about 1 1/2 blocks before his head came through the top and he came back home.
Even he hemmed and hawed all after about whether or not he wanted to go out trick or treating.
I figured I had a least a year or two yet in him!
As a parent it is so hard to know when that "last time" will be.....would I have appreciated last year's Halloween more had I known that maybe this year they wouldn't want to participate?
Would I have enjoyed that last trip to the park together if I had known it would be the last time they needed me to tag along?
As a mom I still enjoy doing the "little kid" things...and I will say again I am not doing well with the growing up.
But did I stomp my feet and insist they trick or treat this year because I needed them to?
No. I did not. C went and wound up with a crap load of candy and had a great time with a friend.
But these last milestones are really making me want to slow them down so I can enjoy them more when they are happening.....

J's turn to pass out candy. K made him wear her hat. Lasted about 5 minutes.

K didn't even want to carve a pumpkin this year!
This is C's. Literally cut minutes before Trick or treat. We were just so busy the last few weeks it got forgotten. He did this without any help except gutting. It was pretty thick!
So I have a feeling there will be no more carved pumpkins here either.
I am really not copying well with the thought....

And sunday we did mange to get outside as a family for awhile. We were on or way to attempt to get into Hawk Mtn again and in a last minute decision when we saw the sign, wound up at the Trexler, aka Lehigh Valley Zoo for some nice fall outside fun. The kids were all for it when presented with the option of hiking or the zoo.
Although , as nice as it was, we went through pretty fast.
We were surrounded by little ones dressed up trick or treating with the animals. just reminding me that that phase is done. We did have a nice time though.....I have a picture or two I want to edit a bit before I post them.
But alas, this is most likely our last trip to the "little" zoo, we much prefer the Phila. Zoo.....

But I did finally get a leaf picutre and some semi-cooperative kids!

When witches go riding,
and black cats are seen,
the moon laughs and whispers,
‘tis near Halloween.
~Author Unknown

Happy Fall!

Big changes here in the Fish-bowl in the next few weeks..but I can not say a word! It is killing me...soon soon, so soon.....

warning - photo overload

So - yeah - this is Hawk Mtn, but NO we did not get to hike Sunday. We have delayed and delayed and delayed these plans, and yet again Sunday did not get to hike. The wait to PARK was an hour. *sigh*
You see. one thing I have discovered in my journey to knowing myself and my needs better in the last year, is really coming to realize when I feel tense or stressed, just from regular ol' every day life, or worse, I crave fresh air. Being outside, grounds me.
In thinking back. Even as a child, when I needed a mental break, I went outside.
Loved when we went to the mountains, getting up early in the morning and going to sit by the creek by myself.
Whenever I felt stressed in college or even just wanted to study extra hard, I sat outside.
I prefer my morning coffee outside.
I guess it battles those "penned in" feelings and the feelings of my world closing in.
Even the night my grandfather died, and the night my mom died,
my first instinct was to get outside, in both cases to a balcony, and just breath.
Pray, look up the heavens. I feel closest to my God and most open to
my holy spirit when I am outside.
I most certainly would shrivel and die if I lived somewhere that I could not get out and get some fresh air.
Fresh air is good for my soul. And I have been giving myself more permission lately
to get when I NEED to.
So with a busy busy schedule the last three weeks my mind and soul have been screaming to get up to Hawk to hike.
But alas. J's soul was not screaming as much as mine to wait in hour....
so we decided to just drive around the mountain a bit, and meander our way taking pictures and getting some fresh air with the windows open.
I was not the only dork pulled over to the side of the road taking pictures. Just so you know!

Where did we eventually wind up? Kempton Railroad. It is at the bottom of the hill near Hawk Mountain. We used to go here often as children. My grandfather loved trains. I don't have too many distinct memories butr recall the pictures and honestly had such a sense of deja vu when we walked up that was unreal.

So we were outside , just not hiking. We chose to ride the open air car, for the 45 min train ride.

*sigh*
I will just add again, how much I adore this guy.

The country side didn't have the color I had hoped for, I think the day before rain had knocked most of the leaves down. But it was beautiful nonethe less.

This was our ticket taker. I just wanted a candid of him punching tickets. I love how this turned out. He was so nice. And all of them are VOLUNTEER. Yup - do it because they love it.

One reason I love where we live.

At the end of the tracks teh engine has to switch to the other end of the train to pull us back to the station. Pretty neat to watch and "feel" the switch. Pretty cool when the engine takes the slack out of the cars and starts moving forward.

And *sigh* I just love this little man too.
He was enjoying a day alone with mom and dad, and thought this was much cooler than the hike.

Ok - I will admit. I came "this close" to all out crying when we went into the gift shop. Which looks exactly like I barely remember.
Then I saw these.,......
They literally stopped me in my tracks and a memory came flooding in.....

There is one distinct memory I have of Kempton - we did not get souveners in most places we went. Money was just too tight for my grandparents. But we were allowed to chose a candy stick when we came. I can remember standing there deciding which ones to get, and feeling the edges get sharp on my tongue after sucking on them for awhile. I would wager $100 that these are the same jars (and they were on the shelf next to a nice selection of VHS videos in case you hadn't moved up to DVD yet!) Back in time I tell ya!

So we may not have hiked but had a great day anyway!!
Go with the flow is sometimes the best!

Busy...

I have been totally wordless of late.
Odd, I know.

Some are very busy and yet do nothing. ~ English Proverb

Totally feeling like this right now.
Taken no pictures barely at all in October.

Just treading water.
Feeling like all I do is drive in and out of the garage, all day long.

So may things swirling around the Fish-bowl these last few weeks.
J looking into a new job with a HUGE promotion and big changes.
Me trying to fit in my own physical therapy the last 8 weeks, and still work my regular job, plus get recruited by the therapy place I am attending to start working there. Hopefully helping the out with their pool program when it opens. Very exciting, yet stressful all at the same time to try to keep all the balls in the air.
Sick kid. Pediatrician appts. ,dealing with homework issues....etc etc...

Treading water.
Doing a lot of too much but not much of anything.

Except this.....

Our yearly Crop for a Cure was - oops, nearly two weeks ago now.....
Fun was had by all!! In all our happy pink-ness!
Hopefully, when totals are in we raised about $5000!! :)
Fun exciting busy weekend.
And I don't think any of us has stopped moving since.
Such is life!

Prayerfully, due to some bad weather this weekend,
We will have a quiet night at home with some yummy pasta and a movie tomorrow night.
After an afternoon having a nice high tea with some friends. Hate that life's busi-ness has almost made me want to cancel out on this just because it would be one less place I have to be!
A sure sign that I need to slow down and get some control over my schedule. (Maybe I should say that to the six day week I have scheduled next week.....hmmm...)
Then Sunday HOPEFULLY we will get back to Hawk Mtn to hike a bit. It will be muddy. But the leaves will be done soon, and we have re-scheduled this three times! Gosh darn it we are going!
So maybe I will finally take some pictures and have some fun to post bout soon!

Why write it myself?

Why write a post myself when someone else said it so well......

I just found THIS blog and am really enjoying his posts.
Particularly today's....

Go read, please.

There are no words.

Just praying for the Kaat family.