Wow.

I will let you absorb this picture for a minute.
When I came across it searching for something
over the weekend, I literally drew a sharp breath.
wow.

This was this past weekend.
PS this is one of my bff's Kim
and only we know what is so funny!

I do not remember looking like that first picture.
Barely over a year ago.
I try to remember.
I can't remember seeing that person in the mirror.
I do distinctly remember I had just embarked on
my weight-loss journey about two weeks prior to that weekend.
My goal was to just get through the weekend
eating as healthy as I could.
I do, however, remember how I felt.
And I can tell you, it wasn't good.
That smile does not reach my eyes at all.
I probably don't remember looking like that
because I spent a lot of time avoiding looking at myself,
and if I did it was only from the chest up in the bathroom mirror.
I was tired.
Headache-y all the time.
I did not feel good - inside or out.

Notice the smile in the second picture?
Different huh?
I've lost 60 lbs and gained so much more.
Until I saw that first picture again I did not realize
how much my insides were hurting then.
I do not plan to ever feel that way again.
If nothing else confirms it,
it will be the difference in these two pictures.
I know I will not be perfect.
As a matter of fact, I threw every thought
of healthy eating out the window over this past weekend.
Does it mean I will suddenly give it all up and go back?
No.
I am back on the wagon first thing tomorrow.
That you can bet on.
I plan on being girl #2 for a long long time.