surreal

Yesterday, I had one of the most surreal experiences ever.

K. has decided to try to bandfront - YEAH! That is what I did in school. Flags - or "silks" as they are these days. She is more interested in the "guns" aka rifles, but the teacher didn't have any with her yesterday, so K. tried the flags.

So there I was , sitting in my car - listening to the drum line practice, watching my daughter practicing her flag routines at the same Jr hi, in the same parking lot that I stood and did the same thing oh so many years ago. It was very surreal. I started to cry. I am not sure why. I called my best friend, who used to march with me, and told her where I was, and she too got the same goosebumps I did. Only she would understand. I could almost close my eyes and be back in Jr hi, marching around that parking lot on a hot summer day. My Pappy was always there on the sidelines rooting for me. Man - did the emotion come flooding back.

Then it dawned on me - I have roots. Here. History. And my kids do too. Cool.

Many of you know that I am having a terribly hard time with K. growing up. I am so happy to be so blessed that she is growing, healthy and happy, but on the other hand I mourn the baby years. Wasn't it just yesterday that I watched through tears as that little curly head get onto that big yellow bus and barely be able to peek out the window? Unfortunately, my mom is not here anymore to tell me she used to feel the same way. Did she" I will never know. If she did, I never knew. I miss that she can't share her stories with me. I would love to know what she was feeling, and would be comforted if I knew she felt the same things I do now. I am not sure my mom spent too much time looking back. She always grabbed today by the horns and ran with it. I am trying so hard to do that too, but it is tough. And not only is she going to Jr Hi , C. gets to move to the other side of the school this year. 4th grade ( through sixth) is on the other side of the school. BIG step. *sigh Where did the time go??

But I resolve to stop wishing for what was and cherish and enjoy what is happening today. Liek looking forward to going to the Calvalcade of Bands this year, for the first time in FOREVER, because K. will be performing. Wow. Now that will be a blast from the past.