Only two weeks...

Only two weeks since I blogged...not long really...in the whole scheme of life....other things haveb been much more important right now.

Robert Updegraff~To get all there is out of living, we must employ our time wisely, never being in too much of a hurry to stop and sip life, but never losing our sense of the enormous value of a minute.
So that is what we have been doing around here - sipping life and not being in a hurry!
School is out. Neither of the kids is medicated for the summer - both doing BEAUTIFALLY might I add. More on K's therapy in a day or two. But it does make for busy days for me as "camp counselor" so to speak - part of the challenge of summer is just keeping some sense of routine and keeping the indians busy.

We too a long weekend to head west - Wellsboro Pa, aka Pa Grand canyon. And as usual, had a fun fun fun time! We rented a camper in the camp ground where one of our best friend's parents owns a lot, so we got to hang out with them also. At the campground they rented these cook "trikes" that the kids just loved. $2 an hour, best money ever spent. we also headed down to the Pine Creek, and the Pine Creek trail. On foot did not get as far as we would have liked, and swore that next year we were bringing the bikes come heck or high water. The kids spent a lot of time skippign rocks int he creek....I am not sure you can appreciate the span of the creek, but I was amazed when K consistently skipped the rocks ALL the way across...easily 40 to 60 ft...this girl has an arm on her!
One of my favorite shots from the weekend....I hung back while we crossed a huge train trestle....those three can melt my heart in a aminute. And J. spending time with the kids is priceless to me,a nd to them. They love when he is with us. Wish he could see that and not work so m uch, but I love him for his dedication to his work as well.
Also loved this one.....purely for Neena and Pappa.....
And this is proof that weeds can be pretty! C. and I picked some of the weeds along the side of one part of the trail. Even weeds have a beauty all their own.
Other than this, we are swimming, doing bible school this week, and just plain old hanging out. Trips to the library....the kids with their noses in a book. K. has discovered graffic Nancy Drew novels...Nancy Drew mysteries that she loves, but in a huge comic book style. Kinds cool. C. is into Animorphs...right up his alley. There was an awesome used book store in Wellsboro, basement level..quaint....really neat funky style...the kids scored a few books for next to nothing...I am thinking we need one of these around here...wonder how one starts that adventure??

So for now - happy summer!

I've been tagged

Been a busy busy week. So much going on, but camera was mia for awhile. Busy weekend. let my self loose Sat nite to have a nice time at the neighbor's house. Wound up having a better time than expected but met some neighbors I hadn't met before, hit it off and that was probably why I had a good time! No camera. Duh. We were supposed to go to fireworks, but J. had to help my BIL with some tables for their welcome home picnic, and he happened to call just as we should have been leaving. I had had enough margarita to know I shouldn't drive myself, so we just stayed home. Then Sunday was my sister's welcome home picnic! SOOOO great to see them home! How sweet it is. I am still praying this year is so much better for them since last. J. and C. were fishing again. Man, that kid could cast without catching for hours. I will post those pictures for Neena real soon! (Hi Neena!) Some great news about K's therapy. Will post more on that later. Right now I have to go drop off J's lunch - yes yes, I do that! better than him eating from the vending machine, and since I didn't get the spinach salad dressing made, I felt responsible for him not taking his own lunch this morning! - and I have been tagged by the loverly Maria! So have to answer this question before I go!

These are the rules.... each player starts with 7 random fact about themselves on their Blog. People who are tagged need to blog 7 facts about themselves and post the rules as well. At the end of the blog list 7 people you are tagging. Let them know that they are tagged by leaving them a comment.

**I LOVE burnt popcorn.

**If anyone ever would have told me 20 years ago, that I would want nothing more than to be a SAHM, cook, clean,a nd take care of my home and flower beds, I would have screamed and run the other way!

**I can sit and eat an entire pint of ice cream, with a spoon, out of the carton , by myself.

** I do the above FAR more often than I care to admit!

**The delphinium in the above picture is in my garden at this moment, and argueably one of my favorite flowers. Also one of the hardest to grow! Very finicky they are, and that is why there is only one in my garden.

** I LOVE olive oil and garlic - add some sundried tomatoes and italian olives and I would probably marry you.

**Ok- that is six - Hmmm...seven.....most people probably know - but I am an identical twin. What most people probably don't know is occasionally my sister and I have telepathy. We know we are on the phone, know when to call when one of us is upset, buy the smae cards for people, finish each others thoughts, start singing a song the other is thinking.......

I am going to be bad and not tag anyone. everyone I read, that actually knows me has been tagged already!

On purpose

Before you say - could she seriously be blogging without a picture?! The answer is yes. And it's ok! Feels mighty wierd, I really use the pictures to trigger my thoughts...but anyway...this past weekend was Relay Weekend - aka The American Cancer Society Relay for Life. This is a 24 hour walking event, where teams are supposed to have someone walking laps on the track for the entire 24 hours. My sister and I have had a team for many many years now. We walk in honor and memory of our mom, and the many other friends and family that we have lost to the damn C- word. Just us really, every year we get a few friends come and go, and this year the kids were really really into it. Last year we wound up being just an online donating team, and the year before my sister's husband was in emergency surgery the morning of the walk, I was home with all the kids and it was pouring down rain. Yes, I made the executive decision to stay home that year! So this was the first in a while that we have been at the track, and the kids couldnt' wait. It was hot hot hot this year, and yes, we set up a tent and I slept in a bag chair on and off Sat nite, BUT it is all about the cause! And all the pictures are in my sister's camera!

I have been thinking a lot lately about "living life on purpose" I am calling it. How do I live my life? One of my patients once made a comment to me about "running along barking with the dogs" - I know Zoey does this all the time. Runs up barking like mad cause she hears the neighborhood dogs barking, meanwhile she has no clue why she is barking or at what but by darn she is going to be with all the other dogs! Do I "run along with the dogs" simply barking along as I am expected to, or do I really know about what I am barking? I can say I used to be much more guilty of this than I have been lately. Simply doing what is expected of me because it is expected. Making decisions based on what I thought others thought I should do or what the "right thing" in everyone else's eyes was to do. That is no way to live. I have met and treated so many people who are just surviving the day to day. No passion in their life, no enjoyment of anything, no purpose to get up in the morning other than to go to work to bring home the paycheck. Sad, so sad. Where is their purpose? Passion in something outside of the everyday is so important to humans.

Everyone should have a passion, do something they love, have something that is important to them, and make it their passion. Live the way they chose to live becauase that is what they want to do , not what is expected. Everyone should have something they believe in, and feel like they make some sort of difference. My sister and I are dedicated to the Relay. We put a lot of time and effort into fundraising, but hosting a super uber fun and cool weekend scrapbook crop. But I can tell you sitting there Saturday watching and listening, there are some that are so much more passionate about it, you feel unworthy! It's wonderful! It gives them joy, satisfaction, and the feeling of making some sort of difference in something that is pretty hard to control. I wondered and presented myself with the question as to why I relay? It is a passion of mine, along with a lot of other things, but I am not nearly as involved as some....then it hit me.....
I relay because I have to. I can't not relay. If I didn't I wouldn't be trying to help. To make a difference. To have hope. To do my small part to try to help survivors and researchers. I can't just sit back and say, "someone else will do it". I can't get my mom back or any of the others that are gone. I can't cure those that fight the fight today, to stay on this earth a bit longer to be with their families, and make their own difference, but I darn well can do SOMETHING - and my something is the relay. For now. As I get older and the kids require less of me, perhaps I will get involved in other ways. When cancer became part of my life, my reaction was to "do" something. I am a do-er. I hate when friends are hurting and there is nothing I can do to help. My mom had walked the survivor lap at the Relay the year before she died, and was so excited about it. Her passion as soon as she was diagnosed was to immediately start educating any woman that would stop to listen about the importance of self exams and mammograms. By darn she was going to make something good come of it all, if nothing else to keep someone else from possibly going through what she was experiencing. So I chose the ACS and believe in their mission. So - I relay. Camp out, walk laps, raise money, and pray that somehow something I did will help someone along the way or help a researcher discover that cure.

If there is one thing I pray my kids learn from me - is not to be victims. To be an active part of the solution - whether we see it in our lifetime or not. To make some sort of difference. To find some wrong they want righted and work to see it happen. To live thier loves on purpose with more of a purpose than getting through the day. I want them to live every day on purpose because they chose to do so.

Just to share

had to share this website I stumbled across from another blog link. I signed up for the daily emails. Great quotes, about GRATITUDE.

http://www.forbetterlife.org/

Ooppsss....

Oh Yeah.
I have a blog don't I?
I promised Tut pictures didn't I?

Well here are a few from the day.Let's just say the Franklin Institute is MUCH more enjoyable when you are NOT on a field trip watching 5 or so 9 year olds. We saw more in this trip than I have ever seen. Walked through the heart for the first time in 20 years! Benjamin Franklin was genius...and scarily , reminds me a lot of C. He has the same "I wonder what would happen if I do this?" thought processes that Ben had. Who knows maybe he will invent the "next best thing" some day!


these first pictures are not the real Tutankamun coffin. They were not included in the exhibit, very very disappointing to K. but it dawned on me how incredibly heavy those things must be. She also wanted to see a real mummy - no go there either. There were no photos allowed inside the exhibit. This was outside the iMax theater where we saw the Mysteries of the Mummies movie. I learned a lot. I did not know there were actually three nested coffins, and I think four box layers protecting Tut. In between each layer, they stashed his cartouches (sp?) and treasures and items they believed he would need in the after life. I was amazed how incredibly well preserved most of these items are! 3000 years old! Egyptians did have an incredibly strong belief in the after life, and the pharoah before Tut was the first to try to enforce the concept of one God, to him the Sun God. I found it interesting how similar this was to our concept of one God. Although the christian and biblically prediction of heaven is nothing like the working river world of the egyptians. The egyptians were not welcoming of this change and the first thing Tut did was revert back to a multi-god philosophy and spent a lot of his rule restoring monuments etc. What really struck me, was in the hyragliphics - the ankh - the simple of eternal life to Egyptians...looks exactly like a cross with an upside down tear drop at the top. Interesting. Maybe they knew more than they thought.







Kaite was just enamoured by being in the city. She thought the Logan Circle fountain was the coolest thing ever. She was mad because we couldn't "shop in the street" - I guess as opposed to "shopping in the mall". She wanted to "see the whole city mommy". So I promised we would come back again. We got great patio seats at the local TGIFridays, which K. also thought was very cool. You can see by the picture she was a *bit* excited. Awesome view of city hall, and Billy Penn. We forget how much of Philly is beautiful, and not just the murder and horror we see on the news. My sweet innocent babe is also still silly. You see, we live in an area where you wave at one of the one and a half cops we have patrolling our neighborhood, and he waves back. We also always talkt o and say Hi to officers we may see in the convenience store or bagel shop. I have taught the kids not to be afraid to approach an officer. So we were trying to get across a busy four way intersection on our way back to the car after walking to dinner - halfway across the street, K. stops, notices a police car, and gives him the biggest goofiest grin and wave you have ever seen. Imagine stop cold, jump up and down Hiiiieeeeeeee......If we weren't labeled as tourists up to that point, it instantly became glaringly obvious! I had to drag her off the street before she got run over and explain why he didn't wave back like the police back home!

Just had to share this last photo. Exercise can be highly over rated! ::::teeheee::::::

This was in the heart display to encourage exercise and show how your joint move and range during exercise. I got the biggest kick out of him and/or her. Had to take a picture.



So that was our day.

*breathing a sigh of relief*

Breathing a sigh of relief that letting the kids swim in the pool when it was way to cold isn't on this list....
(sorry can't give credit - found it while surfing)

"HOW TO RUIN YOUR KIDS"
1. Attempt to live your life through your kids.
2. Give them stuff instead of consistent love.
3. Withhold discipline and give too few limits.
4. Allow peer pressure control your parenting (comparing your children to OPK's, getting them involved in everything, keeping your kids up with the Jones' kids)
5. Refuse to fulfill your God-given roles-put your kids in a more important role than your spouse.
6. Never tell them that you're sorry.
7. Teach them to be open-minded about spiritual things-there are no absolutes.
8. Don't restrain your mouth.
9. Buy into the myth of the two income family -(ed:highly debated...don't email me about it! )
10. When problems come, split up and say it's better for the kids.
11. Hold onto them too tightly.

From the book - "The 7 Worst Things Good Parents Do" written by John C. Friel and Linda D. Friel (he's a psychologist, she's a counselor) which mirrors many of the points that just listed. Here's what they have to say:
1. Baby Your Child
2. Put your marriage last
3. Push Your Child into too Many Activities
4. Ignore Your Emotional or Spiritual Life
5. Be Your Child's Best Friend
6. Fail to Give Your Chld Structure
7. Expect Your Child to Fulfill your Dreams

This did make me stop a think a bit and reassess some of my feelings of inadequacy when it comes to parenting my kids, as well as the feeling of occasionally meerly surviving, than thriving. I pray every day we are all thriving - somedays it feels more like it than others. reality in life. Can't give it more weight than that.

Yes - the kids were swimming last night. They asked. The water was 72 - so I knew they wouldn't get hypothermia...so sometimes you just have to let kids be kids. They had a blast, and shivered all the way to the shower. I couldn't believe how long they actually stayed in. They kept begging me to get in as well. I gladly informed them that I would be in when the water was at least 80 degrees!
Had to include a picture of the Zoey too!! Lately she has been all about being wherever we are, doing whatever we are doing - even more so than usual. She was quite dismayed not to be able to go up there with the kids. She frankly has no clue that the pool is full of water or she wouldn't even try. I had to scold her a time or two when she reared back and prepared to run up that ladder! She also sat on the porch last night when J. ran to the store for hambuger rolls, and refused to come in until he got back. Cats just don't do that!

Had to share

This would be how Daddy fishes.

Taking bets on whether his eyes are open or closed.

I lay $50 on closed!

OK Finally....

As promised - finally.
There was the chorus concert. They had a great time. I can't believe it is nearly the end of seventh grade already. What a year. What an adjustment. But she did it. I am so proud of her.














Mother's Day - this was gift from the kids. J. as usual had not planned ahead (and I have taken to just asking to stop at the nursery on the way home from church and getting my own plants to plant in the afternoon) The kids found this frame Saturday while walking the neighborhood yard sale. J. helped them as they tried to be all secret about printing off the pictures Saturday night without me seeing them. The left heart they signed it, and Jim put "daddy goes here" - put I think I like their signatures better. :::grin::: I am not a big fan of Mother's Day, we don't do much. Sat nite we did go with my sister to Charlie's grandmother's church for a Mother-Daughter dinner which was nice. It was nice to spend time with them. Silly clown was the entertainment and I was surprised how much the girls enjoyed her.














Mother's Day morning before church. This is our patio and pond by the way. I thought it would make a nice back ground for thepicture since none of the flowers were blooming yet. Notice the strategic placement of a child in front of me.














Then there was the band concert - this was actually before chorus but I don't feel like rearranging the pictures. I remember doing this as well when I was in school, and it was such fun. K. had a good time and a great giggle over one of the gentlemen in the audience stepping on her flag and she couldnt' go on with her routine. I think that is where this smile came from.














Finally - fishing rodeo weekend. Not much biting this year. The "boys" went Sat and Sun morning this weekend. C. LOVES it, and I think that is an understatement. I was concerned when I called and nothing was biting -thankfully for anyone - not just C. I figured he would get bored and cranky - but J. said he could stand and cast all day. They were having fun seeing who could cast into the center of the schools of fish. He also told me he almost caught a turtle. I love that he loves this. The next one is in two weeks,a nd starts at 7 am instead of 9 am. J. is a little less thrilled about doing that one!














I know so much more has gone on in the last two weeks. Just can't remember it. Got some flowers planted. My perennials are starting to get huge and green, and ready to pop. can't wait for the color in the garden. I threw some seeds out yesterday, so hopefully they will do something.

Got a "living on purpose" thought in my head right now, but I will save it for tomorrow. This post is already really long!

How long.....

posting soon.

Promise.

Grey's is on tonight.

More important....

In themeantime - thing about this....do you live on purpose? Or just because?

Update coming

Promise!

I will update tonight!

Got pictures from the band concert Friday nite.

Mother's Day.

Just been doing doing doing.....

Love to you!

I get it now.

As a kid, I never could quite understand my mom's obbession with nighttime soaps. Knot's Landing. Dallas. Hill Street Blues.
I get it now.
Other than ER, Grey's Anatomy is one of my first "can't miss an episode" favorite shows. I don't watch day time soaps. But I love Grey's. So I think I am becoming my mom!

Not only for the sex, and hospital story lines. That is fun too! But also there is a lot of life parallels and one of my second favorite things is reading the writer's blog. I can usually figure out most of the metaphor in the show, but enjoy "seeing" it from their point of view. This week's episode was a good one...and I needed to share some of the blog thoughts from one of the shows' writers.
Straight from the blog and all too close to some raw feelings this week, after learning of some tragic deaths that should never have happened to people I don't even know. They write this story line - parallelled by the interns taking their exams to see if they move on or not.

" It can make for compelling television drama, but it’s not entirely unlike real life, where terrible things happen to us, to our friends, and to the world around us without warning or explanation. And we’re human beings, most of us, so when terrible things happen, we want to know the reasons why. We want the suffering to mean something. And when the meaning isn’t immediately evident, we assign meaning as a way of comprehending, if not controlling, what seem like random acts of terribleness. When bad things happen, we make sense of them by calling them tests. Tests we either pass or fail before moving on to the next level of experience, but ones we hopefully learn from either way."

At times, life does seem like one test after another. Do we pass or fail?? Here is my answer.
And again straight from the writers blog.

"George is a highly moral person doing his utmost to be the best doctor -- the best friend -- the best husband (ed. **you can insert "best" whatever you happen to be right now...wife, mom, employee etc. ** ) he can be. But people, no matter how well intentioned, make mistakes. If life is a series of tests, there is no perfect score. You do the best you can and try to learn from your mistakes, because before you know it, life has another test in store. And another. And then one after that. Not unlike episodes of series television. "

How we deal with these tests really shows our character, and ultimately our values and beliefs. Maybe that is how we can chose to rationalize it. Like honeing metal, which does not gain it greatest strength until it has been heated and cooled over and over again, put through the fire so to speak, (Or "put to the test") God knows we can not be at our greatest strength without being tested. As cliche as it sounds.

And I can honestly say that sometimes we can't help but feel that some tests are just too severe.
That is where faith comes in. The only answer I can find. And I am grateful it is offered.

Pretty much covers it

Pretty much covers my diet philosophy.

Also explains why I can't lose!

Here's to taking better care of myself!

Moments in Time

Moments in Time - this is the theme of this year's Relay for Life. To celebrate the Relay's tenth anniversary.
www.pottstownrelayforlife.com
we have been raising money for and walking in this 24 hour event to raise money for the American Cancer Society for the last , gosh, I think 7 years.
The topic got me thinking though. The fact that I am working on C.'s first year album has helped trigger some of my thoughts I am sure. I am not sure what the planning committee had in mind when they came up with this theme, but Ang came up with a great idea to decorate our tent. I have an album (magnetic -don't get me started it was 1992!) that I put together for Mom for her 40th birthday, highlighting her life to that point. Ang's idea was that we make 12 x 12 scrapbook pages, and hang them in and around out tent, and add a huge title "Moments in Time". Great idea!! Cause each of her "moments" affected us in some way.

Isn't that was our lives really consist of? Moments? One after the other.
When we think of someone who is gone or someone we miss, what comes to mind?
Not all the every day mundane things, Not their entire "story" but the moments.
The big things.
But do we really wish we could remember?
The little things. The every day.
Do I really need to remember every event, present opened, and game played!? Or would I rather remember how C. greeted me every morning when he was a baby?
Moments that we think are big at the time, often wind being insignificant as time passes. Moments we think are insignificant, often turn out to be the big ones.
And what are we constantly trying to do?

Freeze those moments.


















Remember them.


















With the thousands of photos we take every year.
With the scrapbook pages we make every year.
There are so many times I look at the kids doing something or saying something and I hope and pray that it is something I will remember, and know I want to remember. Feeling sad that , most likely the moment will pass and go undocumented or forgotten until a sound or smell triggers it. I look at these pictures , and while it warms me to my toes and makes me smile. I can't remember exactly how that day "felt". I really can't.
I didn't journal then. I didnt' scrapbook then. I do my best to capture things in my scrapbooks. The blog certainly has helped me capture more of the everyday. But we can't freeze time. No matter how hard we try. It passes, as do the memories.






















Did this seem like a big moment at the time? Probably not. Although since my mom was already fighting the cancer at the time, I think we knew it was a big thing. Would the day had been different had we known she wouldnt' be here to celebrate C's next birthday? I am sure. But is this all I want to remember about her? Certainly not. I want the kids to remember that she always had KoolAid drinks in the frig and popsicles in the freezer. A year after she was gone, without even knowing, K. knew to look in the frig when we visited Poppop, and was very sad when there was no Kool Aid. I wish I had asked her more questions. How? Why? We are the only ones who own our "moments" - they die with us. If no one asks us about them, or we don't share them, they are gone. I guess my point is to remind myself that life is more than just the "big" moments. It is the little things too. It is the little things hopefully our family will want to remember about us, and hopefully what we share with them, and they will remember about us.
Once again - I think I drifted way off track. But I guess I get my point. :::smile::::

Not much

Going on here. Not much.

We are in full swing of pre-teen angst around here. So I thought this was fitting.

We actually got the "I thought this was a free country" speech the other day. Yee-sssss , arm pump - I am officially the "meanest mom on earth" - I have arrived!

Sorry honey this country isn't free until you are 18, until then you are mine, alllll mine!

PS - So grateful K. is not as bad as some of the kids and parents I witness at school. I'll take a little sass and foot stomping anyday!