Self Esteem

10 things I love about me.....

Seems to simple doesn't it? Come on, I dare you. Quickly. 10 things.....

This has been rattling around in my head since being presented with the challenge by a friend. Her daughter's therapist had tasked her with the assignment. Most of us, if given the assignment about any one of our friends or loved ones, could come up with more than ten. I can come up with ten things I *hate*  --yes, a strong word but applicable here I believe -- about myself in ten seconds flat, but things I love? I am still struggling as I sit down to write this!

"You, yourself, as much as anyone in the universe, deserve your love and affection." ~~ Buddha

And our first impulse when presented with a photo of ourselves, is to immediately identify everything about it that we do not like. You do not want to know what goes through my mind when I look at this most recent, and most likely only, photo taken of myself in the last few months. I was spending the day doing something I love with my daughter who is so special to me, yet when I see this photograph, I only see the negative physical things. 

What bothered me the most, when I read this challenge, was that I immediately thought of physical attributes. There is so much more to all of us than the shell in which we live.

So here goes -- my ten......

1. Going physical here since that seems to be the way humans roll.....I actually like my legs. They have always been long, and usually muscular. Years of marching band, bike riding and walking miles between school and friends' homes as a teenager set the stage. 

2. I also like my feet. No ugly big second toe, no callouses, not too veiny.....teehee.....

That is about all I could come up with physically. 

Now, the non-physical things. Problem is, it seems egotistical to *toot my own horn* so to speak. Why are we so afraid to be proud of who we are?

3. I happen to think I am pretty darn good at my job. I am lucky enough to have a career, not just a job.  It is a career that I enjoy, that challenges me, and one that I think helps me make some kind of difference in someone's life.

4. I like that I am curious. I love to learn knew things, hate an unanswered question, and love learning of knew things. 

5. I think it is pretty cool that I can cook. 

6. This just dawned on me -- I think it is pretty cool that I have reached a point in my life that I can think it is pretty cool that I can cook! Cooking was never even on my radar as a young adult. Wasn't I supposed to want more as a woman than standing in the kitchen?  I have learned that I enjoy it, and was curious enough to pretty much teach myself.

7. I think I am pretty generous. I help when I can, with what I can.  We are blessed beyond belief, and giving back, at least to me, is the best way I can think of to show my gratitude as well as make a difference. Little things like casseroles and baby hats, do make a difference. If I can make someone smile, it is a good day!

8.  I am helpful, kind and patient.  I stop to help people who can't reach the top shelf at the grocery store, answer questions when they think I work there, try to give directions if I see someone who looks lost -- I try to pay attention to those around me. I am pleasant to those around me in line. Remember to be patient if a cashier is taking longer than I think it should. Try to be respectful of other drivers. Hold doors, help with strollers, and pay it forward as much as I can.  

9. I can remember one time when Princess Textsalot was younger, she asked me if I always found something nice to say about everyone. I think I remember that she and the Dude were discussing something about a classmate who was a bit "difficult", and I was simply providing reasons behind his/her  behavior, and other things that were positive about him/her. There are only a few people on this earth with whom I struggle to find some positives!

Oh my gosh, I made it to ten!!

10. I happen to think I have grown into a pretty darn good wife. Sir Fartsalot even thinks so! (Or at least he knows better than to say otherwise!) 

All that being said....while I may have a hard time saying so out loud, and maybe I don't have to, I am a pretty interesting, fun, caring, and giving person. I have grown and matured in so many ways, especially in the last 15 years and most so in the last 5, grown to accept and love things about myself that I never would have been able to find valuable or see as an  asset in my younger years. There are days I would love to sit down across from the 18 year old me and have a tete a tete with that girl! But, you know, the process is probably half of the learning.

 I have goals for the future, love and feel content with the life I have made. I guess that is a good thing! 

Project 365–Day 7

Simplicity

Had a tough time with “simplicity” – finally got it.

Is anything more simple that a beautiful crisp red ball lit by a beautiful tree?

But I couldn’t decide.

So, the candy cane won a spot as well.

A nice pretty traditional simple old fashioned candy cane on a beautiful Christmas tree.

Every year we put our tree up, and I step back and look at it and just love what it means to me.

There is not real “theme” to the tree, except – simplicity, honest. It’s not fussy. It’s not perfect by means. 

Red balls still tied up with the red string remaining from when the kids were small.

Lace bows, Sir Fartsalot and I have had since our first tree in 1987 or 1988 I believe.

Popcorn strung so long ago I don’t remember.

Red and white candy canes. Not fussy, not fancy.

And the remainder are yearly memories, bought for the kids every  year. Gifts given by friends and patients. Nothing matches. Nothing belongs together. But yet, they all blend to a beautiful glowing representation of our family.

The simple red and white elements, tie it all together. Just like the simple daily rituals that tie our family together – dinner around the table, errands run together, favorite t.v. shows shared, family trips and vacations. Nothing special in their individuality, but together, blend to make a wonderful life for us.

It’s a new year!

Time to challenge myself a little bit.

Been letting some things slide lately.

Blogging is one.

Photography another.

Spending far too much time on Facebook.

So this seemed perfect….

http://projectlife365.com/blog/

It’s a daily photo challenge.

Today’s challenge – Still life

I have missed a few days.

So tonight I grabbed my camera and just snapped a few things that were striking my fancy right now.

Two more additions to the snowman collection. This is a Mr. and Mrs. that were a gift from Sir Fartsalot this year. I love them and they make me smile. Ergo, they make the cut for my first blog post of the year!

Picked this guy up for next to nothing at a warehouse sale. He is supposed to be a bank. But I have him sitting on the window sill, so every morning he greets me and makes me smile. Once again, he makes the cut!

Went down to the wine shelf tonight to treat myself before “healthy eating armageddon” hit tomorrow….I smiled to myself when I came upon a bottle we had gotten nearly two years ago, at Lake Seneca, on our anniversary trip. It made me smile, and seemed very fitting to open, since we are now planning and working on returning this year. Happens that I am googling some things this very night. The thought makes me happy, so made the cut as well.

This simply documents my every day. But, as much as you don’t want to believe it, makes me smile. (See a trend here?) I adore nice orderly piles, neatly folded, fresh warm laundry. Not only does it mean my family is clothed and warm, but I do enjoy the repetition and familiarity of the folding process. To me it is very relaxing and a very zen process.

Just in the past few months, I took a class and learned how to make this yummy fresh bread. Guess what? Yup! It makes me smile. My family ADORES it, looks for it, and I love that I am making them something fresh, and healthy (well as healthy as white bread can get). I know what is in it, I know how old it is, and it won’t keep on the counter for three months. I plan on exploring different varieties and additions to widen my horizons. The biggest caveat – it’s SO easy.

Shhhhh…don’t tell. Dude in true fashion of always surprising me, has decided once again to take up his guitar. Want to know why? Shhh…don’t tell him I told you. He discovered he can learn how to play *their* song, if you know what I mean. It is only five cords apparently. I asked why he was still using this fartosmall guitar – turns out two reasons. One, his larger guitar is broken.  Two, he said he prefers this one anyway. This one was his uncles. He gifted it to him years ago when he first decided to try the guitar. Dude says, “it means more to me, so I like to use it” – who is this boy, where did he come from? Some days it is hard to believe he is mine!

So, that is today’s challenge. A small glimpse at the “still life” around my house right now.  Didn’t really make an resolutions this year. Just to continue to be a better person, as I have been working all in the last year. Continuing to love myself more and put myself first more often. One challenge for myself this year, is to return to a bit more creativity. Time will tell I suppose!

Move-in Day!!

So, someday I may have to go back and fill in the blanks between the first day of vacation, and this week! Things such as a huge birthday, extremely ill dog, and just general craziness that is our life.

It seems one day we were at graduation, the next week we were doing this!!!

Warning, photo bomb for Neena and Pappa!

Thursday night, there was no more ignoring it. “Reality” showed up on the living room floor. Time to get ready for Princess Textsalot to leave for the next wonderful phase of her life.

A tad overwhelming, no?

Remember the blanket she asked me to make for her to take to college? I got it done! With minutes to spare but done! It is perfectly imperfect, but she loves it, and that is what matters.

Who knew all those years of packing to go to the beach were  just training for fitting a freshman girl’s dorm supplies into the truck!  Sir Fartsalot is one pro packer, that is for certain!

Barely enough room for her, and we had to leave the Dude home!!  Poor Zoey also needed to be babysat, and he did an awesome job!

There was an awful lot of complaining about things about to fall on her, and tons of chatter the entire drive.

Me: “You haven’t stopped talking. Are you nervous?”

K: “No” – <giggle>

This is when we always start to get exited. Today was even more so!

Yeah. We just pulled up, dumped her stuff on the curb, and raced away laughing!!

PS – our pile was not the largest. There were PICK UPS full of crap!! Wow!

Yeah, didn’t think anyone would believe that one! The “process” was getting everything out, parking the car, and then attempting to get all of that stuff across the yard and up three flights of steps!  But we did it!

K’s Korner for the next 9 months. And the blanket fits perfectly!

It will never look this way again!!

The desk which most likely will never be utilized! That is what laptop desks and beds are for!

Can you imagine K’s response to discover her dorm hallway was covered in Disney Princess décor and posters!? Rapunzel will fit right in! Her one roommate also had a large Rapunzel poster!

 

The other end of the bed, facing the other half of the room. She is in a quad, meaning four beds. So there is a bit more “middle of the room” space. There are four square mobile closets in the center that divide the room a bit, and this is the second window (not centered or balanced on the wall with the other window at all which was driving me insane! – anyone who knows me just knows.)

Minus the tv, until Daddy has a job in Harrisburg this week. It just wouldn’t fit in the car!

Home Sweet Home Away from Home for awhile.

Didn’t I just move into my dorm just a few years ago!?! Where did the time go!?!

I believe she is the first Fish-family member to go to college.

She is so excited, and was having such a great time.

 

This is a small pond between her dorm and the “big” pond. I love this campus. Just give me a book and a tree, and I would be a happy camper for a very long time. And did I not get a text yesterday, from her – sitting by the pond on a break – telling me the fish needed food and I had to remember to bring some. She is not my kid at all, nope, not a bit. ;P She’d never admit it!!

This is the “real” pond. Huge koi, and two swans – Miller and S’ville, who have resided here for decades. This is pretty much the center of campus.

Darn those suckers are HUGE!

And, this is how we left her.

Happy, excited, ready to go.

How could a mom be sad!?

We did it the right way.

They had a meeting to get to, we had popped in the school store for the obligatory MU purchases, and they were in a hurry. So we simply hugged, said, “see you later, love you” and walked away.

No drama, no escorting us to the front door.

No tears. Only a happy, full , proud heart.

Wishing you the world, dear girl!! Praying you make the most of the opportunity given to you, have some fun, make friends and maybe learn something!

Love you!

Vacation!

Warning the next few posts are going to be absolute photo bombs for vacation pictures!

Timing due to a variety of schedules, including my time off request at work,  meant an early vacation for us this year. We much prefer an end of the summer trip, but someone will not be home at the end of the summer, and we had to plan accordingly. As well as, not knowing for sure when orientations and such would be scheduled, we opted to get it out early to be sure we were ok. 

We opted for a special “treat” this year to celebrate, Princess Textsalot graduation, and 18th birthday, as well as my graduating grad school. We banged our heads together, came up with some options ,and the birthday girl decided “something we haven’t done before” was in order – so a cruise it was.

I had the dates messed up and thought we were cruising Saturday to Saturday, and planned an overnight when we got back in Baltimore at the aquarium and such, to pull every day possible out of the week off. Once I determined our travel window, I left the rest up to Sir Fartsalot. I have learned over the years, that he is choosey about travelling, and when he is in control, he feels much better about it, and less inclined to complain if something is not “just so” – he informed me just a few weeks before that we were indeed cruising Sunday to Sunday. Oopss.

Turns out it worked tremendously in our favor. We simply added the over night in Baltimore to the front of our trip, and it meant we did not have to travel the morning we were going to embark.

So Day 1 of our trip , was actually in Baltimore. Sir Fartsalot treated us to a room right on the harbor, so once we parked we walked, which was great.

Instead of the aquarium, we opted for the American Visionary Art Museum, on the other side of the harbor.

 

This was a huge “weather vane” standing three stories tall outside the entrance.

No photos were allowed indoors…so I settled for some of the outdoor displays.

This is a school bus covered completely by mosaic mirrored tiles and ceramic tiles. It really was quite interesting.

This picture also shows the mosaic wall on the outside of the building, and this um, “woman” was on the light pole.

 

These guys were constructed from old fashioned repurposed lamp posts.

Everything in the museum used some interesting mediums to create “art” – some of which Princess Textsalot insisted were NOT art, just junk – and to her credit, yes , some was just piles of junk – literally glued together – but in such an interesting way and with some of the most interesting pieces. Toothpicks, bottle caps, yarn – you name it.

This was a giant bird out side between two of the buildings, constructed from scrap metal with a body shaped like a violin. The “nest” is the second floor balcony.

 

Baby bird.

There was also a garden between the buildings…..the heads were water falls, and lots of carved wooden animals.

As well as “milkcan pigs” guarding the bike rack.

We then retreated to out hotel, and because they were out of the cots in the hotel and we were “guaranteed” a cot – no one can sleep with The Dude – we were given a second room, free! Score!!

Mom and Dad’s room!! Niiiice.

The view from our “balcony” – 6 inch deep railing…but we could open the door and stand, so technically a “balcony” I suppose. I did not pack my sneakers in my over night bag and was kicking myself in the nice crisp morning when I could have walked/jogged around the harbor.

The lobby was open, very nice.

View from the kid’s room – this is the back of the aquarium.

We spent the evening shopping – since my kids do not have enough clothing for an entire week of vacation, we needed to pick up a few things, plus we bought Sir Fartsalot some t-shirts, and had a great dinner at Bubba Gump Shrimp Company at the teenager’s request.

(insert phone pictures here – someday!) Teeeheee

It was SO nice to wake up in the morning, spy the fin of the cruise ship across the harbor (on the other side of Fort McHenry) and just hop in the car and head over. No sweat, no traffic jams, no worries.

Home away from home for the next week!! Ironically without knowing it, we were on the starboard side of the ship and our cabins were actually behind the kids in this photo!

In less than 15 minutes we were parked and boarded!!

Stay tuned…….

Hi Neena and Pappa, we love you and miss you!