They are taking over!

The spiders that it!
We have had a lot of rain.
And they love it.
Took these this morning...
This one goes from the ground/bushes up to the tree. To give you an idea
there is 24 inches between the rails on the fence.
This thing is huge!

This one is under the other tree. Same thing, from the bush up to the tree...but rather than being a perfect circle like the other one..this one reminds me of a cat's cradle pattern. You know when you make the broom? And the top is attached to the tree with an elaborate maze of strings. Pretty darn cool but would not show up on the picture..

And a small surprise for the mailperson!
The spiders love my gardens, and they eat the bugs! So it's a win win!

For the first time ever, right before we left for vacation, C and I were in the pool, and there was a web on one handle of the ladder. Well, we got it wet. For the first time ever, we watched the spider dismantle the web. It was so cool to watch her gather it up, lickety split it was gone!
We didn't put our hand on that side of the ladder for the rest of the day cause she hung out on the under side waiting for us to leave, and this spider was HUGE!

It's happening....

It's really happening.
High school.
Wow.

I thought going back to work at 6 weeks was hard.
I thought kindergarten was hard.
I thought Jr Hi was hard.
See a common thread here?
Always seemed to think each milestone was going to be the hardest.
The rest would be easier to accept.
Not that I am dragging my feet in the mud trying to deny that my kids are growing up.
Or the type of mom that will smother them to my breast until they are 20.
It is hard to describe the odd feelings.
It is a mixture of pride, happiness, melancholy, sadness for the loss of a "stage" that I was enjoying, anticipation, anxiety of what is to come.
I can't believe how time flies.
I can't believe the wave of emotion every time we come to one of these milestones.
Honestly thought each one would get easier.
I can say, they have not!
I am very proud of everything my kids accomplish and would never wish different.
So once again we step out onto a new unknown.
And it dawns on me, as much as i think this one will be the hardest, there are always going to be more...
college, moving out, marriage, kids of their own. trials and tribulations...there are still going to be more and more unknowns.
I guess for us mom's it never ends.
So here's to this one!
Let the excitement begin!

It's coming

I promise!! Can you believe I haven't downloaded the vacation pics yet?? I know I know what is wrong with me?? Maybe 14 loads of laundry, work Monday, Jr Hi orientation yesterday, scheduled to re-start physical therapy for my back tonight, meeting at the Sr Hi tomorrow am with K's counselor, then SOPHMORE orientation (I think I just threw up a little!) tomorrow night, as well as weigh in (After vacation most likely not good) then finally Friday will be FREE! School starts one week from today. The summer than wasn't is almost over! Will post vacation soon! Promise.

wasting the days away......

in Myrtle Beach...

so far the ocean has been divine and the weather even better.

we are toasted and relaxing.

One week....

And counting....

Books

It was funny when I read this comic sunday.....I had just been thinking over the weekend...after seeing one of these on sale in the paper.....

There very well may be a time, when our children or their children's children, do not open a real honest to goodness bound book. Their is realistically in the horizon a book-less world. My children already have no idea what the card catalogue is, or the Dewey Decimal System is. I can remember in Elementary school, and Jr High, going into the library and learning how to use the card catalgue, flipping through those little cards sorted by title , author or topic, and learning the DDS so I could help shelve books. We had to write down on a piece of scrap paper, the call numbers for the books we needed for our research
or that we wanted to read, and go in search of them.
Now the computer will tell them what they need, print it out, and even point them to the correct aisle. Heaven forbid no one does research in the library anymore. The internet is a wealth of immediate gratification.
Long gone are the days of pulling out Funk and Wagnalls, photocopying the pages you needed,
and returning those heavily bound volumes to the shelves.
Eventually, all books may even be available electronically....
where is the fun in that?
More screen time.
No binding to listen to crack for the first time when you get a new book?
No wonderful freshly printed smell.
Am I the only one that loves the library?
All those possibilities.
All the books yet unread.
The smell.
The hushed tones of everyone.
Explains my love affair with Barnes and Nobles, the fresh ink smell, fresh crisp magazines, yummy soft chairs just begging to be sat upon,
legs folded under to dive into a newly purchased book.
What are we going to pull out the little electronic book to read to our two year olds?
Not sure this would be progress or not.
I personally can barely stand reading an entire email on the large screen in front of me, let alone teeny tiny print on an electronic screen the size a large index card!
A world without books would be heartbreaking. The joy of reading has no age limits or even financial barriers considering that libraries are free.
Let's all pray it never gets to the point where books cease to exsist.
That would be a very sad day indeed.

in a funk

No, I don't smell.
Nor am I funky in an urban cool kind of way.
Just in a funk.
Can't shake it for the last week.
I don't get in a funk in the middle of the summer.
This has been the weirdest summer ever.
And for the first in my 10 years a mother of school age children,
I am anxiously awaiting the start of school.
Thinking I guess maybe that if we get back to the daily routine
and comfort of the daily routine I will feel better.
Other than the *big* events of K's birthday,
the summer has been void of the three of us doing anything of interest.
No trips to the library on my days off. My days off have been fewer, which is not helping.
I manage my depression by working part-time. Lame I know,
but it keeps off meds. My erratic schedule just adds to my stress level.
Totally self imposed, but isn't that the way it always is?
We are not swimming as much as usual.
I feel like the kids are spending way too much time alone, and I hate it.
But then again, they are much harder to entertain this year.
Gone are the days of idling by under a tree and sidewalk chalk.
I have not been in much of a state of gratitude lately,
and there is a lot to be grateful for
as well as things that are just proving to drain my spirit.
I just can't shake it. I do not do well with change or stress.
Both of which have been plentiful in the last two weeks.
Gotta snap out of it.
I haven't even had words lately. Nothing to say. No emotion. I tend to write when I have an extreme of emotion...be it anger, pride, happiness.
I have figured that out lately. I don't want to write when I am blah.
Maybe that is when I should write.
Maybe I don't want to remember this feeling, maybe that is why I don't write about it.
So here it is.
Out there.
I am blessed beyond belief,
why do I feel so empty?

Wow.

What has been going on around here.
I refuse to apologize for not blogging...this after all is my journal and
when I get here I get here. :)
That being said, I need to get here more often to remember some of this stuff!!
"The Week Long Celebration of The 15 Year Old" has finally ended with her last party last Friday night. We haven't made such a big deal out of her birthday in a long time.
We started with our gift to her, which was tickets for she and two friends to see Rascal Flatts in concert. With me of course......

They had the most fabulous time and it seems my daughter loves the energy of live music as much as I do! I am hoping a lot more concerts are in our future!
There was a lot of dancing and singing and screaming going on! Pity the poor man in front of us!
I almost deleted these pictures as they were blurring. I was trying to capture the girl's dancing and energy on film....but for some reason I love it and couldn't delete it.

Then we had a get together with family for cake and burgers. The family has gotten considerably smaller and our "family" includes close friends. My darling sweet daughter was so humble that she wanted to give some of her birthday money back because she thought it was too much.
she is so sweet and doesn't think she deserves anything. I am trying so hard to change that!

Last Friday was her "friend" party. The group of kids that came were nice and they had a great time with water balloons, swimming and hanging out. Believe it or not, no pictures! I gave the camera to K to get som epics but she was having so much fun she forgot!
This is the cake she and my sister made together. When she asked my sister if she could make one, K wanted to help. SO my sister was sweet enough to let her. K drew the designs, and other than baking and then guiding K as to what to do, K decorated the cake herself. There are hearts on top, peace signs in the middle, and a flame pattern on the bottom. She was very proud of her work!
It was very yummy too, although everyone seemed to agree the "rubber icing" - aka fondant - was not a must next year!

So she turns fifteen with a pocket full of money, plans to get acrylic nails and highlights before vacation and take lots of spending money to the beach! All in all, a good birthday....
meanwhile, while I was lamenting over my girl turning fifteen and all the changes in her lately,
this kid went and grew two feet on me!
I turned around one day,s aw him coming into the kitchen for breakfast and could not believe my eyes!
We went shoe shopping the other day, and he bought a size 10 flipflop! TEN ! As in, as big as daddy's feet! He has taken to walking around shirtless...not wanting to shower or wash his hair.....
but he can still be plied with licking the bowl after a batch of brownies!
My little boy is still in there!

15 15 15...

Even as a baby her personality shined.
She made me a mother.
Little did I know the growth and changes inside me
that this little beautiful girl would create.
She has been intense from day one.
Challenging my parenting skills from day one.
Not in a negative or bad way. She has always been an eager to please child.
She just has always required a different road.
A new path, a different parenting technique.
Turned everything I thought being a parent would be, upside down.
And continues to make me pat myself on the back
and question myself more times than I can count.
Shown me that sometimes things are not like you expect them,
and that is a good thing.

I can remember, not as well as I used to, but remember still...some days when I would just keep reminding myself, as the fatigue of parenting set in that , "it will get better as they/she gets older", "oh when the kids are bigger it will be so much easier"....
There are some days I wish nothing more than to be holding those little babies again, and have not much more to worry about than the next feeding or if I can nap when they nap.

Then they do this.
Grow up.
Turn 15.
Make you gasp at times to look at them.
Make you feel every minute of your age,
and at the same time
make you feel happy and young to be with them.
Bring out a protectiveness and strength I never
knew I could possess.
And you realize the challenges are still there,
they just change a bit.
I don't have to pack a diaper bag the size of a Buick
to go grocery shopping anymore,
but I would not say parenting is any easier.

15 years later....
They turn into gorgeous creatures that
make you understand why kings built towers
and dug moats around castles.
If I could I would. Believe me.

But the personality continues to shine.
The fun.
The angst.
The love.
The tears.
The sleepless nights,
as a newborn and as a teenager.
The worry.
She has taught me patience, love and faith in God like I never knew before.
All worth every second, to be able to say I am her mother.
So proud of the kind, generous, sweet and caring person she has become.
Wondering what the next 15 years have in store.
I am sure with this one, the path will not be
typical, straight nor easy.
But I look forward to the ride all the same.
And know, no matter what....
Whether the path leads where I expect or in a whole new direction,
I have to trust and believe that everything will always be ok.
I look forward to knowing and loving the adult she will be.

Happy birthday my girl.
Thank you for all you have taught me
and for all the love you bring into my life.

Scrap page

Pretty much sums it up!
No really. Just kidding.
I asked for the attitude in the picture
but I do think it says something that this is
one picture of herself that K actually likes.
Hmmmm..
took these under a railroad bridge in Jim Thorpe last Sept.

Summer reading

'Bout sums it up here.
The Count of Monte Cristo is not going over very well here.

Past, present, future

Given how melancholy and wistful I have been lately, I am trying to take this quote to heart and enjoy my now.

“The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future finer than it will be.”

Marcel Pagnol

Then there is this. And the boys that hang around,
that make want to run screaming into the night!

Total awesomeness......

Friday night ~ here we are getting ready to leave the house ~ much out of character ~ J was surprising me with dinner out at a super secret place. First, J planned ahead. I know totally shocking huh? But he shared later that I has mentioned that we needed a date night and the soonest he could get a reservation at my "surprise destination" was July 3rd. All I knew was "smart casual" dress code. When I asked if we were going to be heading north, I sort of guessed, but was sure there is now way my dh who was not on drugs would splurge on that! So I kept quiet as much to maintain the surprise as I wasn't totally sure until we got off the exit on Rt 78....we were headed for.......

Emeril's Chophouse at the Sands!! Wooheeee!! I am a huge foodie and total fan of Emeril. I know it sounds totally corny and so cliche, but I am! It was his show that made me more adventerous in the kitchen and showed me that all those big fancy words and techniques weren't so hard at all. "it's not rocker science people!" So needlesss to say J is a big fan too, since he gets to be on the receiving end of my epicurious adventures!

I could not believe it! This is J enjoying his after dinner coffee. {three liquors in it, we had to gamble just to sober him up!} I was very remiss that the only camera I had on hand was my phone. And these are mixed up but anyway....I was ordered to blog the details before we forgot them. We were trying to remember another memorable dinner for us, while we were talking at the table at Emeril's and all the details of it are gone....our first real "fancy" dinner was in WDW when we were just dating. We had a bottle of wine that I was far to young to drink, and our only memory of the dinner is the fresh made at our table Ceasar salad...yumyumyum.....so we didnt' want to forget this one.
if you notice behind J is a glass wall. Not just any wall. But on both sides of us, huge high as a wall glass coolers for wine. Bottles and bottles lined up there. We took our waitresses suggestions on an Italian Rose that "had just come in today" Delish!

The menu's were REAL leather, and yes, I sniffed. Real leather people!
The waitress put our napkins on our lap for us. So I immediately thought, uh-oh, stuffy. Wispered to J that we would probably get small portions etc. I should have known any place with Emeril's name would not be into small menus or hush hush tones. For the service we got from our two servers, you would think you were in a high class restaurant where everyone wears a tie and talks in hushed tones. But there was an energy of converstation there, that was so cool and didn't interfere with our converstation at all. We were not rushed at all. And as you can see by the picture of my plate the portions were not small at all. J got a 22 oz ribeye which he enjoyed with a homemade worstechire which I can tell you put the bottled stuff to shame! Mine is Wahoo. It is a fish. Certainly no other restaurant in these parts would put on the menu. Our waitress assured us that "Chef" aka Emeril, likes various seafood on the menu, and when he is "in house", there is even lobster mac and cheese on the menu. Oh man what I wouldn't do to eat there when he is "in house"! I was trying to decide between the salmon and shrimp scampi and the Wahoo special when the waitress kindly reminded me that the others were always on the menu but the Wahoo was the special...so may not return. Sold. She said the chef was joking with them when he gave them the specials menu that the Wahoo was the fastest fish in the ocean, that is why they call it the Wahoooo! As she set it at my place, I replied that it was apparently not fast enough!
Oh I digress. I must comment on the way our soup was served. I had the most awesome corn chowder eva! And J had lobster bisque. Brought to our table in steaming soup pots. Our bowls were set before us with the fresh relish in the middle for mine and the lobster meat in the center for J and the soup poured over by the waitresses.
My portion of fish was huge, and served with a crawfish cream sauce and lyonaise potatoes, I will not lie I ate every bite!

This is me totally flaoting on air with the awesome-est food in my tummy!!
I got a chocolate truffle for dessert, and J got a slice of apple pie. When I tell you these were at least 1/6 th of the pie I am not exaggerating. I was very remiss but could not finish!! J finished mine and his!
There were then 6 different beans to chose from for fresh expresso, man does that man know how to speak my language!! Since I know a very little bit about the different beans, I chose my favorite, Suamtra beans and had the best cappachino I have ever had! Sorry Starbucks!!

By the end of the meal, I could still not believe what a treat my evening was. We enjoyed ourselves so thoroughly, especially knowing it was not a treat we would bestow upon ourselves often. The service and food combined had us just in a state of bliss. I was concerned of the cost, believe me , it was well worth every penny, but not cheap. Then what made it even more special to me was how J shared he was paying for it. He saves his birthday money, and other monies here and there that his mom may slip him "for gas or dinner" on the way home, or after they have stayed here. So he used that for my treat. Most of that is his money. But he did say he had just a good time as I did, so that made it better. We were still savoring the night , the next morning, and enjoyed the rest of our bottle of wine Saturday night. We have decided that this is our new "special night out" place, most likely just for our anniv. since that tends to fall around tax time! :)
I am counting the months til our anniversary!

Fourth of July

~~insert gorgeous photo of American Flag that Blogger would not upload here~~

IN CONGRESS, JULY 4, 1776

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America

hen in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.


Thomas Jefferson may very well be the master of the run on sentence.

We have Memorial Day, Veteran's Day etc....
but if it were not for this brave group of people over 200 years ago, we would
not even have a United States of America and all the rights that we associate with being American.
So many of our nations holidays are becoming watered down, and really only serve as a justifiable day off of work. Let's not let this one get that way.
Many many husbands, brothers and sons, died fighting for something, quite honestly they probably weren't even to certain about. They didn't know what this "America" was really going to be, they only had an idea at the time. Yet, they fought. They fought FOR the right to BE independent, not just defend that right. If not for those courageous men, we could possibly still be an English Colony.
So sometime today, let's pause as we bring our hot dogs to our mouths, as we sit in our own backyards, enjoying the freedom to do as we please , and say what we please today, and say a small prayer of thanks to those men.