So far so good!!!
I am having trouble though. A lot of the things I am trying to do to “give” , I already do often. I started to talk myself out of using those for the challenge. But someone reminded me, it just means I try to be nice when no one challenges me, and just because I have done the tasks before, doesn’t mean they aren’t “nice” enough for the challenge!
I’ll get to yesterday in a minute.
I had made a batch of chocolate chip cookies on Friday.
“The best chocolate chip cookies ever!” ~~ according to my children.
Mom’s chocolate chip cookies – allrecipes.com
And no, I did not name them that.
But honestly, chocolate chips cookies are not at the top of my list of favorite treats, but these are good. Very soft, and they stay soft, not just for a day or two.
C shared them a few weeks ago with his friends on “Tasty Tuesday” – their self appointed, “bring a treat for lunch to share” day – creative huh??
he told me yesterday how many of his friends have been asking when he was going to bring some in again. A friend even texted him yesterday, “I could really use some cookies”. K also told me there is a boy in her homeroom that has also been asking about the cookies since she had taken some for “breakfast” ( she’s a teenager, I give up!) and shared them with him.
So, I decided today – day 4 -- I would make a fresh batch and send them to school with each of them. Cheap and easy for me. Love that their friends will be glad to get a nice treat. Feels nice, and filled my day and my heart while I was making them.
so, anyway – Saturday – day 4.
I set off to take some meals to a friend whose husband was injured and has just come home from the hospital. It is sort of one of my “things” that I do when there is nothing else I can do. I know all too well the relief of having a meal ready to go in the refrigerator when life seems to have gotten the better of you, so new neighbors, sick friends and family, and the like get meals from me. This was supposed to be my “giving” for the day. (I am also have some difficulty with limiting to one thing a day! ) But like I was saying, it wasn’t sitting real well with me, as “fitting” for the challenge, since it is something I do often.
After I left her house, I had to pick up some things from the Giant for dinner last night. I chose my check out line, and loaded my things on the conveyor, behind a young woman with a toddler. You can’t help but see and over hear as you stand there. The cashier read her the total, and she asked is all of the discounts has come off, and I could tell she looked a bit uneasy. She pulled out five gift card/cash card looking cards, I heard her tell the cashier each was $25, and she would have to go out to her car for some more money. After the cards were processed, she was still about $25 short of her total. I know welfare assistance has been using cards instead of food stamps but wasn’t aware they were in small denominations but I can’t help but assume that these were some sort of assistance for her. I also know the area around this Giant does have a large apartment complex for low income families. I honestly, was in no hurry, the cashier apologized and even the woman behind me with a baby, was very laid back and patient. I was impressed with her actually. I chatted amicably with the cashier, who was older than your usual pimple faced teen, about our brown thumbs for indoor plants and working on Saturdays, and she kept thanking both of us for our patience.
The young woman returned, with what appeared to be bank cards in her hands. She carried no purse. She scanned one debit card, and whatever was in that account still left her about $5 short, and she scanned the second card, and that still left her $1.24 short of her total.
Now, I have been blessed to never in my life have had to even come close to draining my checking account to buy groceries for my family. when we need something, we go buy it. Our refrigerator is rarely empty. I had toyed with the idea of paying her $25 balance for her while she was out at her car, but didn’t want to assume she didn’t have what she needed to pay and make her feel as though I was judging her. I like to think someone would do the same for me if the need arose.
But, she kept looking around, and started to look in her bags, I am assuming for something to return. She was giving the cashier a rather pleading look. I reached into my wallet, pulled out $2 and quietly slid it over the belt to the cashier, putting my fingers to my lips to let her know I really did not want this young woman to know what I was doing.
But darn it, she waved the money at the girl, punched it all in, and asked if *I* wanted my change back! ugh. I said, no thank you, indicating that she should give it to the young woman. The young mother looked at me and thanked me , but I could tell was very embarrassed, and would not look me in the eye. She turned to leave very quickly, and did not return my “Merry Christmas” when I called after her.
I was a bit heart sick , since my intention was not to embarrass her, judge her, or make her think my motives were to get her out of the way so our line would finally move. I have no idea what she was thinking or feeling.
The cashier when on and on to make a big deal out of it, as she checked out my groceries. I told her it was no big deal. I was blessed to never have been in her shoes and could share with her. I felt bad that my heart wasn’t big enough to give her the $25. It actually made me sad that such a small gesture deserved such accolade simply because so few people would have done it.
My heart was light, yet heavy at the same time as I left. I prayed that the young woman would see the care in my gesture, and was grateful that if nothing else, I had left a mark and a smile on the cashier’s face and hopefully she would pay my gesture forward in some way of her own.
As wonderful as it felt to hear my friend tell me what a difference I made in her day Friday, it was just as difficult to see the embarrassed look at that young woman’s face. I guess we can be judged for not giving, but there are times we may be judged and not leave the impression we intended even when we do give.
Reminds me of the summer of 1988 – neuroanatomy – my first summer class in college. The end of my summer’s off. Only I laid on the beach to study, not by the pool, wore a bikini, not a tankini, and sat with my bff, not two teenagers! The following summer was my first clinical rotation, and the following was graduation.
