My deep dark secret

(because this is where my brain goes at times)
Yes.

It's time to come clean.

In our  medicine chest, lies my darkest secret.

Nestled with the innocent OTC medicines, hair removal creams, and unknowing razors.

The Vicks has no idea it is sitting on the same shelf with such a travesty!

What could this horror possibly be?





Guesses?

Yes, those are all the little samples for floss that the hygenist so caringly places in my little paper bag every six months. 
Yes, I faithfully see the dentist.

But....

I. Don't. Floss.

There. I said it. feels good to get it off my chest.  Don't hate me.

I mean to.
Honest I do.
See? I SAVE them all.
Penny pincher Sir Fartsalot would never ever throw them away. Lord knows we may need to McGyver something with it some day!

My jaw is tight. My teeth are extremely tight, as my orthodontist.

I can barely get one hand in my mouth, let alone the fingers from two hands.

I give up.  I have tried those little stick things.
They tear. (I told you my teeth are tight!)
I tried Glide.
The thinnest brand.
  I just can't do it.
My jaw winds up killing me, and I wind up gagging.

What I don't do....is lie about it.

When she inevidably asks,
"Have you been flossing?"
Nope!
And now she isn't the only one who knows.