Move over Zoey

Had to share this picture first.

Tonight the kids were playing on the swing.

Decided to try to "double up".

Only my two would think of this.

They hooked both swings to the same far hooks, and then Kaite sat on her swing, then Chris sat on his on her lap. Then they swung together. Not easy but they worked well together.

I just thought it was cute. They were so good today going with the flow of our busy "domestic" errand day.

Now - topic of the day.

Seems I am in the dog house. I rarely get in the dog house. And of course, pure Jim style, after our initial confrontation, the topic shall never be brought up again. Unless , of course, I chose to delve into it again. He has been moping around grumpy again, so this has not gone over well.

See, I did the unspeakable.

I let Chris quit baseball.

Jim and I have a firm " you finish what you start" parenting philosophy.
Christopher feels we forced him to join, and when I say this kid has been miserable going to practice, I am not exaggerating. He loves to play in the backyard with us, and would hit balls for hours if mom and dad didn't get tired, but does not enjoy the team aspect of it all. I don't recall telling Chris that he had to join. He said Daddy told him. We have told him he has to do "something" and since we didn't give him any other options, I think he assumed it had to be baseball. So he agreed.
So tonight, I decided that enough is enough. The kid is miserable. This wasn't an " I just don't feel like going" reaction. This has been a crying, pleading, gut wrenching affair. Too much.
He is not a couch potato. The kids don't sit in front of the tv day in and day out. We, as a family, and them as children are very active. Biking, basketball, tennis, guitar, bowling. So the exercise is not an issue to me. To me, forcing him was just not a battle that needed to be fought. And you see. Jim is black and white. There is no assessing each situation as it comes. There is no discussion with Chris. Only ultimatums.
We allowed Kaite to quit her new dance class last year, after pretty much the same reaction. She had started a new class that she didnt' fit in. She was older, taller, and just felt like a misfit. She was miserable. Same reaction, passionate pleading ,crying. We made her repay us the amount of the class. Thinking of doing the same with Chris....but I think his joining baseball was more of a misunderstanding.
So now Jim has starting laying down his ultimatums. You see. God bless my husband. I love him dearly. But with him, there is always an ultimatum. A "never again". always an absolute. No matter how many times I tell him life is not black and white, and our children are not programable robots, he seems to think he can have absolute control over every situation.
He is unable to stand back and look at the big picture. One event becomes "always". He forgets that Chris dutifully finished soccer or boy scouts when he realized it wasn't as much fun as he thought, and wanted to quit. But forever more, he will be remembered for quitting baseball.
It hurts me that he can get this way sometimes. With all of us. Jim starts laying down the law. I am more rational. We have general family rules and "philosophies", but I prefer to step back when there is an issue and look at the entire circumstance, because as we know, no two are ever the same, and make decisions with all the information.
I guess that is why Jim and I can be happily married for nearly 15 years. We tolerate each other. Allow each other to be who we are and meet somewhere in the middle. Pretty much ying and yang. I, of course, feel that the tolerance is more heavily weighted to my end, but Shhhhhh....we won't tell him that..

20 years from now will Christopher's life be permanently altered because I allowed him to quit baseball? Only time will tell. As I see it now, I doubt he will even remember.

Move over Zoey, I am coming in.