Today, I saw the look of total adoration.
I was with one of my patients. One that I have gotten fond of very quickly. There are just some that touch me immediately. I noticed in his room various pictures on the wall, many drawn by his own hand. Turns out he is an amatuer artist. Chalks, pastels, charcoal. Very interesting for an 88 year old retired ADT inspector. I, of course, loving things arsty, can understand his continued need to create even with arthritic fingers and poor eye sight. As I was looking at his drawing table I noticed one of the photos on the wall, was of a young man and woman, whom I was sure were this gentleman and his wife. Just to make conversation, I asked if that was a picture of them.
His reponse to me.
"Yes, it is. And she is still the most beautiful woman in the world." The look of adoration and love on his face stopped me in my tracks.
Now this is an elderly man, who was married to this woman for 56 years, and she left this earth over 4 years ago. Yet, he still sees the most beautiful woman in the world when he sees her. Not only that, the look os softeness and love on his face was incredible.
I believe every woman in the world deserves this sort of love. To feel unconditional love from someone else in their life who puts them on a pedestal.
I have been told by many of my friends that they wish their husband's would look at them, like mine looks at me at times. And I have usually felt very loved by my husband. I think we have a very good marriage, but I am not sure I have ever seen that look on his face or that 50 years from now he would still describe me as the most beautiful woman in the world. Believe me, I hope so! He doesn't sit and gaze at me like he used to when we first met. We love each other very much and work every day to show each other that love and attention. That extra effort makes a big difference, but as human as we are, we probably don't "notice" each other as much as we had when "we" were new. That is what totally blew me away about this man's reaction. Time had not lessoned his fondness, or adoration. Jim and I try very hard to pause each day, and actually stop, kiss and ignore the rest of the world even if it is only for two minutes in the kitchen. Now I realized even more how important this is for us. I want to adore my husband in 50 years, and I want him to adore me. That is going to take effort now.
Looking around this gentleman's room some more, it is obvious that his wife was one of his favorite artistic subjects. There are quite a few beautiful renditions of her at various ages. Most of the expressions on her face show that she also loved him very much.
Right now, he tells me the only thing he wants to do is get to heaven so he can be with her again.
I will most likely not be seeing him again. I ask if there is anything I can do for him before I go. He tells me no, and thanks me profusely for all I have done. As I leave him, I tell him that I wish him peace, but as I walk away I can not help but say a little prayer that this man will get his wish soon. There will be two very happy angels in heaven.
3 comments:
Andi,
You say you are not a writer.........................I couldn't agree less! Your words made me cry................... I sure hope that someday someone feels that total adoration for me too. Thanks for sharing girlfriend!
Andi, you are an amazing woman. Reading your blog made me realize why I always enjoy spending time with you, you are such a warm and well rounded person!!
Kept writing and tell Christopher I love his cake.
I agree with t!! How can you say that you are no writer. This is why I could not be a nurse. I loved so many patients like they were my own family. Some were so wonderful, kind, and caring. Some not... but it was the good ones that hurt. The day I couldn't do it any longer was the day I lost a rather young mother of a 5 yo boy who I had as an open heart patient. In the open heart unit , you had the same patients for sometimes over two weeks and you got to know them. When I first walked into her room she said that I looked familiar but couldn't place me. So we chatted and I went on with my night. The next night that I worked , she had told me she knew where she had seen me and asked if my mother was a visting nurse. And me being in shock, said Yes! how did you know? My mother had taken care of her several years earlier when she was recovery from cancer and chemotherapy etc and had shown this woman our pictures and our kids pics. She told me how my mom talked of us and she could tell how much she adored us and her grandchildren. We talked every night that I worked while she was there. I met her husband and her son. And really got to know her and liked her spirit and her strength. She had very long hair and I used to take the time to brush it and put it up for her. As she said, "when no one else would take the time." Long story shortened... she left the hospital and went home. We agreed to keep in touch because she lived only a few minutes from me. About a week went by ... and I thought of her as I often did my patients when they left the hospital. I wondered how they were doing , if they were ok, etc. Well, I came to work one night and there was a big buzz in the hospital that my "friend" had returned to the ICU unit and was not doing well. So I went down on my break and saw her and her husband. The doctors couldnt figure out what was wrong but she was so weak etc. So I promised to visit the next day and told her to keep up the good work and she would be better soon. I returned to work the next day to find that she had died that day. She had a leak in the valve that they had replaced in her heart and it had ruptured. The doctors tried to perform surgery and even manual massage of her heart and it didn't work. That was one of the worst nights of my life. I had to finish work and not be upset, yet feel like my own heart was being torn from my chest. Her son, her husband... her friends. At the same time in my life, my mother was fighting cancer and I was facing her unknown future. That was the day that I decided I couldn't be a nurse. I couldn't leave my heart at home and I could not bear it be broken again.
I do not know how you do it every day, Andi. I give you credit for the strength that you have.
Love ya
Post a Comment