Wow.

So - this was in my email box when I opened it this afternoon....

From : Thomas Koch Subject: K***** 9/11/08 9:04 am

Years of challenges in school, have conditioned me to immediately tense up...I started saying a prayer - "please be something good, please be something good, please be something good" - K had told me last night that her science teacher told her yesterday how well she was doing participating and answering in class, but she had a quiz yesterday and my stomach could just not let go of the dread....did she fail the quiz and he is emailing me to ask how/why?But this is what it said....

Hi Mrs. F*******-

What a pleasure it has been to have Kaitlyn in science class. She is doing a great job participating – showing enthusiasm, answering questions, etc.

Sincerely,

Mr. Koch

I read it three times and started to cry. The 9 years that K has been in school, struggling for 7 of those years, I can count on one hand if that, the number of times a teacher has taken the time to compliment her on her success. They are so quick to point out the negative. I emailed him immediately back, thanking him for his compliments, and saying honestly that it is so nice to hear someone compliment her.

You see - these teachers this year, know very little if anything of K's struggles and diagnoses. She has worked so hard over the last 18 months with her therapy, and has made some incredible progress, but at the end of last year we had yet to really see any of her success translate into her grades. Over the summer, there was real change in K's confidence, calmness and maturity ( a year ago our accident would have sent her into a tail spin or nightmares and panic attacks)...she really came into her own this summer, and when I reminded her at one point that no one meeting her would ever know she was ADD or had anxiety (which obviously is why we have put so much time and energy into the last 18 months of biofeedback!) This seemed to be a turning point for her. She has been so defined by her diagnoses by so many people that I think she really only saw herself by what she thought people saw , which was a stupid girl who didn't try hard enough, and wasn't worthy of more - .....at the time, we discussed how this year was her first year, starting off with pretty much a clean slate (she has some progress to make yet, but honestly very little). This seemed to please her, and was one reason she didn't want to risk her grades for tennis.....she had just started her therapy last year and had made progress but not enough to really be seen, so last year did not start well - her anxiety was high.....She has had very little anxiety if any this year so far, and to have a teacher email this, and have K tell me that "I am participating mom, and getting the answers right!" - well I can put into words the swelling of my heart and tears in my eyes. SHE FEELS CONFIDENT ENOUGH TO RAISE HER HAND AND ANSWER! I am not sure anyone that has not followed this path intimately with us can imagine how HUGE that is. I am just praying now that we start to see this translate into her grades. Not that I care the difference between her grades, I know what she knows and how much time/energy she puts into her studies, but we all honestly know she is judged and her academic furture depends on her grades. We just want them to accurately reflect what we know she knows. Right now this is the first step in a very positive direction.

Wheew.