God's presence

**Warning - more armchair theology here, take it for what it is worth but I hope it touches the way I want it to **
Right now - K is questioning a lot. Why mom, would God allow these things to happen? Woah, major parenting skills there!
Through her therapy, we are discovering she was much more affected by my mom's death than we thought. She was 5, started school the week after her death, and never at the time showed any signs of problems...no sleep problems, no problems in school, no behavior problems....so I was foolish enough to think she came through unscathed. I am not the type to dwell, wring my hands and cry - so it is not like she has been constantly reminded of negative memories over the years. I concentrate on the positive and being proactive, raising funds for cancer patients and research in my mom's name, that sort of thing. I am glad she is finally getting the chance to wrestle a bit out loud with some of the things she has been wrestling with inside. She is still far more obsessed with negative outcomes than I care her to be , but he is her father's daughter as well....so I have to deal with that. So it has led us to a lot of interesting conversations, that I just continually pray that God gives me the right words to give her. Some of my Christian friends can't believe that I am not more upset by her questions and anger at God. I can't force her to have my faith, it has to come on her own, and frankly if she is angry, it means she believes, so that is enough for me right now. I have been trying to share with her how I see some things, without talking about it constantly mind you. But the other day in the car, we talked about God letting bad things happen (is that not the quintessential doubting question for anyone?) - I reminded her that we are on earth, because of Adam and Eve - which she believes and I had to laugh at her observation that they should have just let that apple alone, but I digress - she reminded me that God could change this if He wanted...and we talked about Him not letting us here alone, He was so saddened by what He had to do that He sent His son to give us a path to love and heaven......I shared with her that I don't believe God sits in heaven pointing His finger making bad things happen...I believe He has to sit back and let out humanity happen to us at times. He set the patterns here on earth into place, and let's life happen. He never promised life would be easy but He did promise that He would be there with peace and love when we needed the support. I shared with her that I know God talks to me and guides me if I am willing to listen. My faith has certianly gotten me through many many dark areas. She asked me how I know when God is talking to me. So I explained to her I totally believe when I was searching for other ways to help her ADD/Anxiety the quiet voice in my head that wouldn't let me stop researching until I found the biofeedback was God's way of telling me what I needed to do. Over the last few weeks, the thought that I needed to share with her the fact that my mom was never angry at God for her cancer, and did not want all of us to get angry, or lose one day of our own happiness mourning for her. She accepted it, of course after a period of adjusting, I am not saying she danced in the streets, but she did not blame God. K seemed to be surprised by that, and I am glad I shared.....I have been trying to share with her the good that can come of the bad, and how sometimes we may never see it, but it is there. I think she is listening, becuase yesterday she told me about a song she was listening to on the radio that said somethingto the tune of we are not able to appreciate the good, if we didn't have the bad.
Anyway....this was the trigger for all these thoughts today.....I need to share this story with her...I am sure there are 100's of views opposite mine to this story , but to me it speaks volumes of God's care and love for us. He is not ignoring us here on earth....this is a follow up story about a family that lost their three young children nearly a year ago in a freak traffic accident. They have not let anger stop them from living, and knowing they want children in their lives, got pregnant again,a nd were blessed with triplets born just day s before the anniversary of their children's deaths. Like I said, millions of opinions on this I am sure - but they chose to keep living. They still mourn for their children, and miss them I am sure, and I am positive they are not *replacing* their children, but knew that they wanted children in their lives, and wouldn't let this horrible event change that. I believe God was listening. he blessed them with 3 more children, at a time when they most likely need the encouragement and love in their world. http://www.ocregister.com/articles/coble-children-born-2031842-lori-ladera
Sometimes I think we choose, conciously or unconciously, to ignore and close our hearts to God's love , guidance and the positive outcomes after painful events in our lives. I don't know what I would do in a major life crisis, prayerfully I won't have to ever know, but I like to think I could continue to be faithful, and praise my God.

Take time to pray for or send this family some positive thoughts today, and also take a moment to be thankful that we are here today and able to do just that.