Sooo..........

"'Aging is not 'lost youth' but a new stage of opportunity and strength"

~Betty Friedan~

Photos by J. which explains the expression on my face! Took all my courage to pose for these.

Not only has it been weeks since I last blogged, I went and had another birthday!
This year I am really trying to take this quote to heart. Trying to enjoy the opportunities that this stage in my life afford me. "new stage of opportunity and strength."
I have admitted over and over that I am not handling growing older or watching my kids mature, at all gracefully. I have essentially been lead kicking and screaming.
Strength.
I have lacked it.
I feel stronger now than ever.
I have the strength to finally admit and expect what "I" need.
And that feels terrific.

"If we spent as much time feeling positive about getting older, as we do trying to stay young, how much different our lives would be." ~ Rob Brown

So, I am also trying very hard to internalize and live this quote a bit more.
Aging is not a priviledge given to everyone.
I am trying hard to embrace it, and love me the way I am.

I really sat down yesterday and forced myself to consider the last year. How far I have some, considering last year, I had just had my accident, was in a lot of pain, was over 60lbs overweight and honestly not very happy with myself.
In January, I made a decision, that it was time to make myself happy. No more sitting around waiting for someone else to do it.
I took my health, physical and mental, into my own hands, and made some changes.
In transforming, and returning to more of an attitude of gratitude, putting myself first again, I made some pretty dramatic changes.

I don't want myself to ever forget how it felt today to put on these jeans.
Come out of the dressing room, repeating, oh my god oh my god I am actually wearing a size 10!! Over and over.
The transformation over the last nine months, mentally and physically still surprise me sometime.
I am happy in the ways that matter right now.
I haven't felt this way in a long time.
I have a few more pounds to go, but can allow my self to relish the fact that I am not longer "obese" but "slightly overweight" according to my BMI.
I feel healthier now than I have in a very long time. Even the last time I was this thin, 6 or so years ago, I did not feel this well mentally.

"I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be."

~Douglas Adams~


So no matter where the road leads me in the next year, I pray I can maintain this mental attitude , embrace the opportunities that my growing older affords me and embrace it all with a smile and new attitude.
I may have to put this picture on the frig, not only to remind myself of the size, but how honestly truly happy and content this person is right here, right now.
And she now has the strength and confidence to admit it.
I am ALLOWED to feel this way and be proud of it.
Wow.