in a funk

No, I don't smell.
Nor am I funky in an urban cool kind of way.
Just in a funk.
Can't shake it for the last week.
I don't get in a funk in the middle of the summer.
This has been the weirdest summer ever.
And for the first in my 10 years a mother of school age children,
I am anxiously awaiting the start of school.
Thinking I guess maybe that if we get back to the daily routine
and comfort of the daily routine I will feel better.
Other than the *big* events of K's birthday,
the summer has been void of the three of us doing anything of interest.
No trips to the library on my days off. My days off have been fewer, which is not helping.
I manage my depression by working part-time. Lame I know,
but it keeps off meds. My erratic schedule just adds to my stress level.
Totally self imposed, but isn't that the way it always is?
We are not swimming as much as usual.
I feel like the kids are spending way too much time alone, and I hate it.
But then again, they are much harder to entertain this year.
Gone are the days of idling by under a tree and sidewalk chalk.
I have not been in much of a state of gratitude lately,
and there is a lot to be grateful for
as well as things that are just proving to drain my spirit.
I just can't shake it. I do not do well with change or stress.
Both of which have been plentiful in the last two weeks.
Gotta snap out of it.
I haven't even had words lately. Nothing to say. No emotion. I tend to write when I have an extreme of emotion...be it anger, pride, happiness.
I have figured that out lately. I don't want to write when I am blah.
Maybe that is when I should write.
Maybe I don't want to remember this feeling, maybe that is why I don't write about it.
So here it is.
Out there.
I am blessed beyond belief,
why do I feel so empty?