J'ever wonder

Did you ever look at one of your kids and wonder how they could ever belong to you?

This is K's room.

On a good day.

there are days I get hives going in there.

A clean floor last no longer than 30 min tops.

She is only required to clean it up at once a week so I can vacuum. I gave up even trying the daily tidy routine.

And that does not include "surfaces" which is usually an arguement to reorganize about once a month. She seems to crave caos around her.

And I - am the quintessential neat-nick. I refuse to use the word freak. My bed is made every day, and the dishes are washed at night. I like things in their place. Not to the point of OCD, but everything has a place, everything in a place. With the disorganized minds I live with, if I don't keep everything in order, none of us would ever know where anything is.

So I ask myself - where on earth has she come from? But am realizing as she gets older, it is just a "thing" with her. So I go in there as little as possible, and do not help her find anything that she is missing. I guess some day she will start to keep it tidy right?

Then there is the issue of the body snatchers that are stealing my girl away. Anyone who knows K. knows she is normally very bouncy, chatty, loud and busy. Here lately, this moody, brooding, pouty creature has replaced my beautiful girl! At Target last friday - you would swear I was walking her to the guillatine! She was slouching ( so much so she looked like a big S) and dragging her feet -in untied shoes - so loudly you could hear us in the next isle I am sure. I had to swallow my pride, tell her that I am sorry I was going to sound like a fuddy dud but could she please stand up straight! She then proceeded to sit on the floor in the shoe isle and argue with herself or me, I lost track of which it was. She had tried on a pair of shoes, and I asked her if she liked them. Yes I do. Ok, I say, then get them. But they make high heel sounds when I walk (they were a bit "plasticy" sounding) . ok. so dont' get them, I say. But I like them. Ok, then get them - but be sure you are going to wear them, I say. But they make that noise - voice getting higher - Then don't get them and we'll keep looking. But I like them! Now two ladies in the isle are starting to stare as I am sure we were quite a site to behold! I say, do you realize you are sitting on the floor arguing with yourself? But I don't know, she says. Mom decides - Ok, leave them and let's go. *sigh* :::shuffle shuffle shuffle::::: I offered her to the register lady for awhile, but she refused to take her.

Now the last two days, my girl is back. Bouncy, smiley, irritating me in other more enjoyable ways.

I don't think I will survive the teen years. Honest I don't. Maybe that is why liquor stores stay in business. I can see myself sitting at the table alone at night, drinking a glass of wine mumbling to myself.